So basically i have a 16yr old nearly 17! She has learning disabilities, adhd, dyspraxia. She wants to be like her friends ect, but she doesn't understand how money works, can't add simple sums up, struggles with understanding time, very trusting towards people.
So we have tried to give her more freedom. She started college in September and at first she was so happy and doing well, but then she met a boy at college and her attuned changed For the worse. She has always been up and down, having violent outbursts lying ect. But it's got so much worse since she got with this boy, going out not telling us where, vaping, stealing money, stealing stuff out of her sister room, (We now can't leave our bags around we have to put in our bedroom with a lock on door.
She came home with a huge love bite on her neck and yes i told her i wasn't happy with it, next thing she had taken a razor to her arm and cut it and taken a few pills, then ran out and ran to a friend house with blood dripping down her arm saying look my parents don't care!
My husband was at work on nights and my 6yr was in bed asleep. I managed to get her back home and asked what had happened she just screamed none of your business.
Next day she said she was going to park to meet up with her friend, she turned her phone off and got into a uber and went to this boys house saying that we had called her a sl..g and had kicked her out, we didn't know where she had gone, we got told by a friend she had got on a train. She finally messaged us and said she was over 2hrs away and wasn't coming back, so we phoned the police as she is classed as a vulnerable person and we had no idea where she was.
Police found her at this boys mum house, so she got brought home at 11pm and she wasn't fussed that me and her dad had been going out of our minds for last 7hours. We had a meeting at college and we then took her out got her nails done and meal in pub. We decided instead of getting angry about the vapes as we where losing the battle we decided to let her as long as she uses her money and doesn't do it in front of us.
A week went past and she started getting nasty again and walking out of college.
So we asked her what was going on and she screamed at her dad went your a see you next Tuesday and that she was going to move out and get a flat and this boys mum was going to give her money. 🤔
She then took another razor to her arms and was messaging this boys telling him we are horrible to her, and we shout at her and are kicking her out. Yes I shouldn't of gone through her phone but i knew she was hiding something. She was planning on going to his mum house again. Few weeks past and we have Christmas, we got her some Jordan trainers but not colour she asked for as they didn't have her size, she turned around and went i dont want them, we then caught her again going out the house in early hours of morning, we live on a military base, and she was going out with another boy younger than her and smoking.
We told her she can't be going late! She then went to college and once again went to this boys mum house, where i get a message from the mum asking if we would mind if she spoke to her about conception and that she has a degree in child psychology and understands disabilities, I didn't even reply.
Worse lie she has told was last week, i knew something was up so i asked her and she screamed at me and grabbed me and pushed me against wall and went it's none of your business, so yes there was abit of shouting she then ran downstairs grab a packet of paracetamol and punched my mirror and ran out, dad ran after her, as she was bleeding. She then said to dad that she was raped by a boy she went to school with, (the boy she is saying raped her, they have hated each other since primary school) so we took her to hospital where we was there 10hrs, she had bloods taken, luckily her levels where fine, and we where let go, she was once again referred to crisis team at cahms and she told them she doesn't want to go to college she doesn't want to get a job, as she doesn't want to listen to people, all she wants to do is be with this boy and his mum who is apparently amazing!
She then went to college next day, where she told a staff member that she was raped, we had already told her the police will be coming and that she needed to come home after college, she turned around and went she doesn't want to speak to police and turned her phone off and went to this boys house, so dad went to get her, police turned up later on and she admitted that she had lied again and that he didn't rape her, they just had sex, police gave her a good talking to. She didn't seem bothered at all. Next day we had a nurse appointment for birth pill and nurse asked her if she had had sex or was planning and she went yuk no not a chance, so we asked why did she say she had, she went because i did.
We decided to keep her off college for rest of week, as she had few cahms appointment.
So today took her to college and we watched her walk in to college and within 30min we had a phone call from college she had walked in and then out, she had gone to this boys dad's house and decided to turn her phone off again. College rang his phone and he answered and said they didn't want to go today. She has been told she is not going to pass and is likely gonna be asked to leave.
We picked her up from the boys mum house and the mum went oh she a teenager, they all tell lies every now and again, she amazing girl and she will pass her course, u and her dad need to stop getting stressed with her and let her have her freedom and she can stay there whenever she wants. Sorry for extra long post, there is so much more, but its lies that are getting to us!
The mum is really condescending! We have done nothing but try our best with her!