Thoughts….would you say something?

[Flipflop23]

Son is at uni (he is 19)
he categorically says he’s moved out and will not be moving back home. He says I can do what he wants with his room. (Not that I have done anything with it)
he visits every 5/6 weeks. He always brings his girlfriend with him which I don’t have an issue with although sometimes it’s a bit inconvenient.
when they do come they spend all there time in there room. Even eat in the bedroom.;the only time we see them is if they get food or are about to go out.
my issue is he says this is not his home

but tells me when he’s coming (doesn’t ask) and doesn’t spend much time with us. Feels a bit like we are used as a doss house.
would you say anything?

Sounds pretty normal to be honest 😂

I wouldn’t say anything but what would happen if you did away with the bed etc and made it into an office/ ironing /craft room etc

Is he first year uni or second? Where does he plan to live over the long summer break?

@Seeline he’s got year round accommodation and has a part time job.

I don’t think I’d say anything. My ds will be starting college in the fall, and as long as he is still wanting to come home to visit here and there, I’d be happy with leaving his room as is for the time being - unless of course you need the space and have other ideas for his room. Otherwise, I think I’d just continue to welcome him home whenever he decides to come and visit and give him the independence to decide how often that will be and how he spends his time while he’s there…

Sounds pretty normal to me. What were you planning to say?

Turn his room into something else. You aren't a knocking shop.

I'd always keep a room available be glad to see him. You may feel a bit used but don't we all at times.

DS is a bit like this, I usually leave him to it, but do get in touch prior to his (short notice) visit, or when he arrives and ask him his plans "Which evenings are you seeing friends? As we will work around those to plan a family dinner" Then he understands the expectation we will spend at least some time together. If money and time allow I usually take him out for breakfast too, as his friends are obviously more of an attractive prospect than me, but so is free food.