How many friends does your teenage DS have?

[Oldhag5]

DS14 used to be part of a bigger group of boys but more recently they seem to have split off a bit and he seems to only have 2 ‘good’ friends in school that he would suggest meeting up with out of school (but this doesn’t happen often). He does have other friends in school I think but no one that he would hang out with evenings and weekends. Also one other friend from primary who he’s still close to he does see at weekends sometimes. I just worry he doesn’t have a bigger group of friends to do stuff with like a lot of the others seem to. How many ‘good’ friends does your teenage DS have and how much time do they spend with them outside of school?

DS 14 also. He didn't start secondary with anyone from primary and then they had so much time off with covid, that he's really struggled. He seems to flit between groups of people, I hear the same name for a bit and then not again for months. He's a while away from the school so any socialising tends to be online, except in the summer when they will make outdoor arrangements.

thanks for your reply, sorry to hear your DS has struggled a bit too

I would say 2 good friends is great. I do think Covid and time off school impacted their friendships and social development. College and a new set of peers should help (I have everything crossed for my DC)

My 13 year old son has some football friends from his team.

In school he has two “good friends”. He doesn’t socialise with them much outside of school but I know these two boys are friends he feels safe with and genuinely likes them and enjoys their company.

My kids are a bit younger but just to say that when I was that age, most of the kids at school were in groups of 3, possibly 4 maximum! They might have had other people they were matey with from different classes etc, but the "best friend groups" were all groups of 3 or 4.

Thanks, makes me feel a bit better! He just tells me he sees other (bigger) groups on social media who have been out places (kids from the bigger group he used to be part of) and he never gets asked along and I’m not sure how much it bothers him. But I will be happy he has his two good friends and focus on that!

One (16) has basically one friend he sees out of school, one (14) has a couple but socialises exclusively online with them, one is quite social with lots of interests and has groups of good friends of both sexes from each hobby (he’s 17). I think there’s lots of normal variation and what matters is if they are happy.

I am right there with you! My ds (17) will be starting college this coming fall and I am hoping so hard that a new set of peers will help him to make friends and get him out socializing a bit more. He works part time (about 4 shifts per week) and plays hockey, so he is a fairly busy guy. He goes out one night a week for hockey practice and then usually has a game or two on weekends. He seems to be well liked by his peers, but is not really interested in socializing with anybody outside of school or hockey. It worries me a bit since I feel like he’s “missing out” on stuff, but he seems happy. He’s definitely an introvert and prefers being at home over going out to parties and social gatherings. I would have thought by this age, that he would have a good friend or two (at least) in his life, but he doesn’t put forth any effort to get involved with his peers and hang out with them. Just lately, he’s mentioned that it would be nice to have a few friends to make plans with, so I’ve been trying to encourage him to put himself out there and try to get to know people better. I always feel kind of sad when I know his peers are hanging out, doing stuff together, and having fun, and he’s at home.