my anxious teen has no friends and I am the wore parent ever

[Ramiona]

I don't know what to do, looks like my anxious 15 years teen has no friends; she was bullied at school for 4 years; she was so happy to join the school in year 7 now in GCSE year she doesn't want to go there as she has not even one friend in the class; her anxiety level is so high, she is getting nervous ticks
I was trying to contact the school many times but they haven't done much; if she refused to go then I was just getting unauthorised absences and letters that they will put a penalty on me
I feel like I have failed my kid, for last year we were struggling, I am a single parent with no family ( except the children), working full time to pay bills on my own, and on top, I had to upgrade my education to provide a better life for us; I haven't even noticed that so many times I was too harsh to her, and she was helping with younger siblings when I was at work. Maybe I should stop working and spend more time with her and listen to her but I couldn't, I was a mental wreck myself.
Anyway she is 15 now anxious with no friends and I have no friends with children her age to introduce her to someone, I don't know how to help her; I failed my child and I don't know what to do

You ve done your best in a very difficult situation. Not for getting the pandemic which must have been very difficult. Can she do her GCSEs in a different setting to get through the qualifications such as a pupil referral unit ? Or get help for her from the local authority and send a tutor ? Please don't blame yourself she sounds like caring girl who will definitely be able to find work in child care or similar.

Check and see if your local college have a 14-16 provision. Best move I ever made for my son.

what is the pupil referral unit? I am not sure if it is possible as she had the mocks in December and the GCSE will be in May/July. She is also doing some Art projects which she already started working on. Officially she has no anxiety in the doctor files; when I tried to get help from CAHMS they said they won't do anything as she is not abusive toward her younger sibling, so I do not have much hope for a tutor from the local authority.

@Nixnjj1 thank you x; if I only knew about it earlier, she is already 15 and she will have the GCSE in May this year, I am afraid it might be too late for changing schools :(

You are not the worst parent ever, you clearly love you dd very much and want to help her.

In my experience schools respond better if you put it in writing via an email.

My dd has had friendship issues but is ok with going into school. I think this is because she has outside interests. Is there anything in your area she could do out of school to help build her confidence.

Have you seen the young minds website, there may be something on there that can help www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/

Finally try and look after your own wellbeing so you are in a good place to support her.

@Ramiona you haven't failed her. I'm a single mum too but not working due to ill health which brings its own difficulties. Are there any local support groups? normally run out of community centres or the like. Speak to welfare officer at school and say you are worried about her so close to exams and see if they can suggest help. Google cognitive behaviour therapy. The wait for camhs is awful. My son found it helpful to look for ways of coping and take control. Aromatherapy, grounding exercises, physical touch , self soothing etc all help.

Some random thoughts (my DD missed all y11 due to anxiety & depression and is now at college on a level 1 course).

Why doesn't she have an anxiety diagnosis from the doctor? Go back to the GP.
Does she get any help either medical eg propranolol or therapy eg CBT

When you report her not going in, do you say 'refusing to go in' or do you say 'her mental health / anxiety is worse today'? Keep emphasising to school and GP and anyone else who gets involved that of course you want her to attend, she wants to attend, but she isn't well enough and until someone actually helps her it may not get better. If she misses 15(?) days then she becomes eligible for some limited medical needs tuition in theory. Post on the SEN board for more help.

Consider applying for an EHCP. See again the SEN board.

What are her plans for post GCSEs?