Phone and gaming limits? Yes or no

[L3andlosingit]

DS1 is 12 and in year 8. We currently say phones downstairs at bedtime but he says he’s being bullied for it. His phone is down at 9.30 on school nights and 10 on Fridays and Saturdays. The console is also downstairs.

As a treat, I let him have unlimited phone time on New Year’s Eve. He was begging to go on Fortnite with friends at 1am and I had to make him turn it off at 2am!!! At least 3 friends were online at that time.

What limits do you set for your teens and why/when did you change them?

My DS is in Year 8, although he's 13yo.

His bedtime is 10pm and he generally games until then (xbox in family area). Phone outside of room when he goes to bed. I don't limit any time apart of this (unless he's in trouble, when limited time is a punishment). My only other rule in terms of gaming is no 18 games.

As for bring bullied for mot gaming all night, I call bollocks. He's just after qudos. In the secondary school I work in, those who game through the night (certainly past 11pm) are in a small minority - including older years. And the sorts who do this are not the sorts I would want my son associating with.

My DS is 13 (year 9). On a school night, he switches his phone off at 8.30 and we have an hour of uninterrupted family TV time before bed. Phone is left downstairs at bedtime.
At the weekend, same thing although he stays up later.
Console is downstairs and the latest he's allowed to play on that is 8.30.
So far, no arguments about this. Aware this may change as he gets older!

Mine are 13 and 14 and an absolute nightmare, I've put screen time on everything to turn off at 9pm but they keep somehow managing to turn it off. My 14 year old son loves gaming and some times I've caught him still up at 2/3am gaming and his friends are still online. I've even done a screen detox and taken it all away for a month but it just goes back to the same as soon as I give it back. And yes I was the worst mum ever when I took it all off them and they use the excuse that they can't speak to their friends and make me feel guilty for doing it.

Similar age. Not getting bullied, but does get teased a bit for it which is felt as pressure to conform.

Screentime is set at 10 every school night. Turned off during holidays and weekends.

Thanks for the reassurance that we’re not being horrible monsters for having limits, everyone. I appreciate you all sharing what happens in your homes

I know it shouldn’t matter what happens in other houses but I don’t want to be unreasonable. Argh. Parenting is such a minefield.