Drunk 14yr old DS

[MumCat2020]

Its New Years. Meant to be going to a party one street over, family party, lots of teens and adults. DH being a grumpy tw*t so we stayed home and I said my 14yr old boy could go. He had already had a drink with dinner so I made it clear to him that he was not to drink any more alcohol. He even txted me during the evening asking if he could drink more and I said no, he had already had more that he was used to at home.
At 12.15pm I started asking him to come home, he turned up 20 mins later. Obviously walked back by a couple of friends his age by the voices outside. He is drunk. Not throwing up, but loud and unsteady on his feet. The adults at the party are more liberal than me and wouldn't have thought twice.
I'm annoyed that if DH wasn't being a pain again, I would have been there to monitor it. And I'm fed up that my teen has lied and gone behind my back.
I feel like going nuclear at him in the morning. Help!!

You didn’t need to babysit your husband - should have gone to the party and have fun with your son and friends - don’t take it out on the boy - he is learning and will make mistakes - hope he does not learn to be controlling of his wife or controlled by her btw

I still don't get why you're focusing on what you perceive as a lack of judgement from your 14-year-old and overlooking the fact you should've gone to the party if you were that concerned about him drinking, but instead got bullied into staying at home by your DH on NYE. I think that's far more of a concern that your DS having a few drinks.

Unfortunately the poor decision here was yours. You should have ignored your dh and gone to the party. I hope you're able to resolve your relationship problems for your and your son's sake.

Why didn't you go to the party with your son? Do you only do things if your OH does them too?

I think the insinuation here is that if you went to the party your DH would have been cross? So you stayed home to appease him but argued anyway. If this is the case then you have bigger problems than a 14 year old being a bit drunk!

I think it’s good he texted you and was accompanied home at a reasonable time.

You should have gone to the party, had some fun and then you could have kept half an eye on him/brought him home when he’d had enough.

This is coming from a good place OP but I think you're misdirecting your anger. You chose your controlling DH over your son celebrating NYE to keep the peace.

I can quite understand why he got drunk, accidentally or otherwise and I wouldn't mention it. He texted you which was the right thing to do.

It's shame your DH spoilt NYE and I would take a step back to see how your DH's behaviour is affecting you and your DS.

Your husband is the problem here not your son.

I can't imagine any scenario in which I'd let my 14yo go to a nye party and not go myself because of a dickhead. Are you scared of him?

It sounds like a completely miserable home environment, no wonder your Ds wants to let his hair down and have a drink.

Ltb and focus on your Ds.

14, and he'd 'had a drink with dinner'?
Ffs he's 14. Don't normalise drinking any further or you'll have even more problems.

My family attended the wedding of a friend of my sister.
It was quite large for our small town.
My dentist was in charge of this large punch bowl of very strong drinks made from vodka. He was handing them out to everyone, kids included. I was 12, my sister 17. We both got hammered and our mum was furious. Actually, there weren’t any kids who weren’t hammered.
The next day, Sis & I both were very hung over. Mum made us two very large, very greasy hamburgers, slathered with mayonnaise and onions and sat with us to make sure we ate every last bite.
That was true punishment.

Zombie thread.

Was there a compelling reason to necro this thread? Mods?