Vaping

[EmilyLee23]

When my 16 year old daughter got out of the car this morning, something fell out of her pocket without her realising. I only noticed it when I got home, but it was an elf bar vape. This is odd because she is a clever girl and planning to go to medical school. It is very unlike her, she was head girl at secondary and has never put a foot wrong. What should I do?

Well my DS15 vapes and to be honest there is not a fat lot you can do to stop them, we have told him we don't approve, we have told him of the dangers and shown him the research into the nasty things it can do to your body. There comes a time when you just have to educate them and hope for the best.

@Hellocatshome
She doesn’t know I found it yet. Do you think I should ground her? She has never been grounded before.

You cannot ground a 16 year old.

I feel like my answer is going to be somewhat unpopular with people but I would honestly just tell her that she dropped it and give it back to her as it’s her choice.

Being intelligent and wanting to go into medical fields has nothing to do with it. Intelligent people and even people in medical fields have been known to smoke things MUCH ‘worse’ than an elf bar.

I’d count your blessings that the only foot she’s ever put wrong at 16 is smoking a vape. I wouldn’t tell her she couldn’t have it nor ground her because this is going to only cause friction between the two of you. Tell someone they can’t do something and they’ll want to do it more.

She’ll either grow out of it or she won’t but in 2 years she’ll be classed as an adult anyway.

Totally agree with this post ^

No for one she is 16 you can't really ground her and for two what will that achieve apart from her being more secretive.

DS told me he vaped as he didn't want to keep secrets (I already knew, he isnt as clever as he thinks) I am glad he told.me, we have discussed it at length and I have asked him if he is going to do it to try to stick to nicotine free vapes.

Just tell her she dropped it and give it her back and tell her you are there for her to talk to about anything she wants and if she ever wants to stop vaping but feels like she can't she can come to.you for help.

I hate smoking or vaping, but plenty of teenagers want to do it and as a pp points out, by a certain age there's not a lot you can do to stop them. I mean this kindly, but you do sound a little like you think your daughters behaviour is always 'perfect'. Perhaps try not to put her on such a pedestal, she's only young and human and won't always make the best choices.

@kiwiiem
I think I will do that, I don’t know how she gets hold of them though.

Lots of shops are rubbish at asking for ID for vapes. I know my DS has bought them in shops but then he gets served in pubs as well 🙈. There is also quite a few older brothers and sisters of school friends who buy them and sell to school kids for a little profit.

Remember when you could buy cigarettes at 16 😂

But honestly OP, I'd just say, you found it. Mention that vaping still comes with health risks. And leave it at that.

Plenty of Dr's smoke/vape by the way, and nurses and teachers. People can make their own decisions and can weigh up their own risks.

Same as your daughter who is becoming a young adult.

I'd hand it back to her and say ' this fell out of your pocket' and see what she says

Don't set her up or anything like that, just pass it back to her

I'd then open up a conversation around health, how Idiotic it is etc etc. I'd also mention that whilst she bought vapes, I would be disinclined to give her money

My son is 16 and I know he's tried it. It's only because he's 16 that I down played my reaction and went with a combination of the above. Any younger and I'd be a lot more concerned

I've got him to 16 with a few vape puffs and some ciders and vodkas with his mates on two different casinos which he told me about.

Sometimes you have to take the small wins

So long as she understands it's not harmless and the risks to her lungs, I'd just let her get on with it. Lots of interesting research coming out about lipoid pneumonia and some vapes which have glycerin in the ingredients.
Most humans have vices, over eating/ too much alcohol/ smoking / vaping / drugs / risky sexual practices all can lead to health issues. But life is not without its risks.

@MoscowMules
I am a doctor myself so a lot of my colleagues smoke. But I am a little disappointed in her, but I am a bit protective of her.

Hey guys I'm a medical student who is really interested in vaping addiction and keen to see potential solutions for it. There are plenty of e-cig users that have switched from smoking but are now stuck...but then there are so many children getting addicted for no reason!

I have some colleagues working on a device that helps people become weaned off their vape without withdrawals. How interested would you be in a device that did this effectively?

She sounds lovely and you should be proud of her. I’m sure she will grow out of it.

it’s common amongst teenagers unfortunately. My 15 yr old has vaped - she’s told me and she’s aware how i feel about it. I have told her that she is not allowed to take it to school though - so maybe you could come from that angle

I would be very interested. DS wouldn't unless it looked exactly like an elf bar.

very interested. So many of them, mine included ruining their health and wasting so much money on them. Plus the amount they puff away on them they are totally addicted to the nicotine. It’s a crime that they are so available and made attractive to hook the young

Since your daughter seems to be a responsible and intelligent young woman, it might be worth having an open and honest conversation with her about what you found. Sometimes, there may be underlying reasons why teenagers experiment with things like vaping. Approach the situation with empathy and understanding, and try to get to the bottom of it together.
On a related note, I recently switched to vaping myself and got one from esix9. It's been a pretty cool experience for me. If you're considering trying vaping as an alternative to smoking, it might be worth looking into.

All you can do is say you're a little disappointed and let her do what she wants but she will need to know the dangers. From what I have read and being a non smoker Vapes are worse than normal cigarettes. My daughter is 12 and a boy in her year has been vaping since 10 (yes 10!) he has just recently been hospitalised and has problems with his lungs.