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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD's awful mock GCSE grades

29 replies

busybeeee222 · 29/12/2022 13:11

My dd had her mock gcse's before Christmas, the results came back and they were awful. She did no revision and her phone is the worst distraction in the world.

She is bright but very lazy. Last year when she had her mock exams she didn't have her phone and did much better.

I just tried to speak with her calmly but she wouldn't discuss it. Instead just sat there like a mute looking teary.

I gave her plenty of chances to speak and in the end said if she didn't speak to me about it I would take all of her electronics.

So she calmly handed them over and is now in her bedroom crying.
What would you do in this situation?

I had an app on her phone before where I could limit the times she using certain apps etc, although there has been an issue with it recently. I could try using that again and allow her maybe 1 hour a day on social media so she has time to study.

Or take away the electronics completely, I just don't know. The technology is just so addictive for her and consumes all of her time.

I'm worried she will fail her gcse's if I don't do something.

Also the other issue is that she will not discuss anything like this with me when I am only trying to help her.

OP posts:
Everydaywheniwakeup · 29/12/2022 13:15

"Awful" as in straight 1s or mix of 3-6s?
DD got some poor (for her) mock results - all under 4. Did turn it around and got above 5 in everything.

Hellocatshome · 29/12/2022 13:19

Are younone of those parents who thinks anything less than a 7 is just 'awful' or are we talking a load of Us and 1s?

Thefrogwife · 29/12/2022 13:20

I'm a Secondary teacher - I would talk to the school. Does she have a form tutor or similar person in school who could sit down with her and make a revision plan etc, and gently bring up the issue of distractions? She might be more inclined to listen. Lots of time left until the summer exams to turn it around.

DelphiniumBlue · 29/12/2022 13:20

I speak as the parent of 3 former teenagers.
Well done for removing the phone, you know and she knows it's the sensible thing to do. You can let her have it for agreed fixed times, maybe once she's done an agreed amount of work.
Social media is the worst thing for distraction, even fully grown adults find it hard to resist. Do her a favour now, and give her the opportunity to study and to develop other interests. She will thank you for it inn the long run.

Seeline · 29/12/2022 13:26

There are an awful lot of excellent revision sources on line these days. Technology can be a positive as well as a negative.

Did she sit full GCSE papers or had they been adjusted to take into account work not yet covered? Also mocks are often marked hard to kick teens into working harder.

How did her results compare to her predicted grades!

Lenald · 29/12/2022 13:27

busybeeee222 · 29/12/2022 13:11

My dd had her mock gcse's before Christmas, the results came back and they were awful. She did no revision and her phone is the worst distraction in the world.

She is bright but very lazy. Last year when she had her mock exams she didn't have her phone and did much better.

I just tried to speak with her calmly but she wouldn't discuss it. Instead just sat there like a mute looking teary.

I gave her plenty of chances to speak and in the end said if she didn't speak to me about it I would take all of her electronics.

So she calmly handed them over and is now in her bedroom crying.
What would you do in this situation?

I had an app on her phone before where I could limit the times she using certain apps etc, although there has been an issue with it recently. I could try using that again and allow her maybe 1 hour a day on social media so she has time to study.

Or take away the electronics completely, I just don't know. The technology is just so addictive for her and consumes all of her time.

I'm worried she will fail her gcse's if I don't do something.

Also the other issue is that she will not discuss anything like this with me when I am only trying to help her.

depends what awful means and if your being unfair with your expectations.

EarringsandLipstick · 29/12/2022 13:40

In my experience, 'punishment' like handing over tech does nothing at all.

You need to work with her to find out a) what happened (you seem to have a good idea already) b) what motivates her and c) what the issues are, and make a plan around that.

Certainly limiting tech will be part of this. But taking it away without any other plan is no use.

Original poster
busybeeee222 · 29/12/2022 13:47

Thank you all for the replies, I am not a parent that expect all 7's for example dd struggles with maths so if she got a 4 that would be fine, she isn't interested in history so again if she gets a 4 that would be fine.

However her grades are all lower than last years apart from 1.

Her English language was 5 last year, this year 3, she has always been pretty good at English so this is only down to her laziness and not caring.

Her maths was a U, last year was a 4.

her grades are:
3, 4, U, 4-4, 5, L1 distinction, 4, 3

last year she had a 3 in history, however all other grades were 4's, 5's, and a 6.

Her grades are also much lower then the predicted grades also.

OP posts:
BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 29/12/2022 13:51

She is probably shocked. Suspect this will sort itself out now she realises social media is having a detrimental effect but you could talk to her in an adult way and offer to change her passwords so she can't get into her accounts. It's harsh but if she does end up failing (fwiw I don't think she will) she can retake - but it's not an excuse for her not to do beter.

TeenDivided · 29/12/2022 13:52

Have you asked her how she feels about her grades?
Does she want support in improving them?
What is she hoping to do next, and what are the grade requirements?

Those mock grades would lead towards doing a one year Level 2 BTEC (GCSE level) and then progressing to a further 2 year level 3 BTEC/T-Level.
Plus she'll be stuck resitting Eng Lang & Maths which is a pain.

MisgenderedSwan · 29/12/2022 13:55

I think she seems shocked, it would be good to talk to her when she has calmed down and make a plan together. Maybe she can have her phone for an hour after homework? If you can get her on board and help her manage it herself it will be more useful that you taking everything away. As an adult she will need to manage herself so this is a great opportunity to practise.

Talk to her calmly without confrontation and discuss what she thinks she should do. Avoid negative words like lazy - poor mocks are not the end of the world but should be treated as a wake up call. She has time to turn it around.

urrrgh46 · 29/12/2022 13:59

Give the tech back. Sit down and discuss what she wants to achieve and a make a plan to best help her achieve that. Be realistic and actually in the long run as long as she does enough to get to her next chosen stage the grade actually doesn't matter.
Mum of 9, 4 of whom are 16+.

urrrgh46 · 29/12/2022 14:01

Would add 2nd has ADHD and despite removing all tech (at his request during GCSEs) he failed to revise but did learn to do a rubix cube in under 20 seconds. Motivation has to come from within!!

TheaBrandt · 29/12/2022 14:04

You don’t have to go nuclear and take away the phone absolutely. Go in in a collaborative way looking to help her manage it - take it away when she is doing school work / revision then give it back for downtime.

HowDoYouOwnDisorder · 29/12/2022 14:08

I am not sure coming down hard and taking tech away is helpful

my oldest had bad gcse mocks, it shocked him to work a bit harder

like @urrrgh46 says, motivation has to come from within.

i sat down with DS and we l researched and looked at what he might want to do after school, and what he needed to do to get there. For him it was tech and engineering, so he knew he needed to get a 6 in maths GCSE and 4 in English to be able to do the A levels he wanted.

we did some Uni open days, to get him interested in future options.

My kids are 18/20 now and I’ve never been able to pressure them into working

judt because they sit in their room with a book does not mean they are learning/studying

mondaytosunday · 29/12/2022 14:39

My son did terribly in his GCSEs. Worse than on his mocks. He didn't revise much at all. He was in shock.
Im not sure what more I could have done in the lead up - as I said his mocks were ok (I felt he could do better but it was a mix of 4-6 so acceptable). But I sat down with him and we came up with a revision schedule, I printed dozens of past papers, he had a tutor for English (only ones he did ok in). I helped doing tests in math. But he didn't study enough.
But what I wish I had done when he got the results was give him a big hug and tell him we'd figure it out. Instead I think I just said I was disappointed and probably shed a tear and not sure what happened then, maybe said he shouldn't be surprised as he hadn't revised enough. As it happens he had already decided to go for a vocational qualification and this didn't affect that (he had to do math again which he passed). But it did shut some doors. He talked of resitting but covid happened and that first teacher assessed year the online courses didn't provide marks.
There's still time. Put the results behind you and ask your daughter how she thinks you can support her in doing better. Not sure about taking away her electronics but maybe between you both you can work out an agreement.

Frlrlrubert · 29/12/2022 15:00

If her maths has gone from a 4 to a U - did she sit the higher paper and 'fall off the bottom' or sit foundation and get barely any marks?

Sit down with her and make a plan.

Revision timetable - don't be too ambitious and build in breaks, check exam dates and work backwards. Figure out how many hours she has to revise each subject and then you have a framework to break it down further.

Split subjects into more manageable chunks (I taught science and I'd split that into the 6 papers she will sit and tackle one at a time).

Do the revision a topic at a time and do available practice questions for a topic, then tackle a past paper and look at the mark scheme to see where she can improve.

If she can align her revision with how each of her teachers plans to use the remaining time that's great, but I'd start now, you can always realign your plan later.

Past papers and mark schemes are available on the exam board websites.

I'd let her have her phone back once the plan is in place and as long as she sticks to it and is making progress. Good luck - your support will make a massive difference.

aureus3012 · 29/12/2022 15:08

mondaytosunday · 29/12/2022 14:39

My son did terribly in his GCSEs. Worse than on his mocks. He didn't revise much at all. He was in shock.
Im not sure what more I could have done in the lead up - as I said his mocks were ok (I felt he could do better but it was a mix of 4-6 so acceptable). But I sat down with him and we came up with a revision schedule, I printed dozens of past papers, he had a tutor for English (only ones he did ok in). I helped doing tests in math. But he didn't study enough.
But what I wish I had done when he got the results was give him a big hug and tell him we'd figure it out. Instead I think I just said I was disappointed and probably shed a tear and not sure what happened then, maybe said he shouldn't be surprised as he hadn't revised enough. As it happens he had already decided to go for a vocational qualification and this didn't affect that (he had to do math again which he passed). But it did shut some doors. He talked of resitting but covid happened and that first teacher assessed year the online courses didn't provide marks.
There's still time. Put the results behind you and ask your daughter how she thinks you can support her in doing better. Not sure about taking away her electronics but maybe between you both you can work out an agreement.

I work in a school, in admin, but I am on the Senior Leadership Team and we discussed mocks last week. The general feeling is that mocks are partly to get the kids used to doing exams and partly to shock the kids who maybe aren't working as hard as they could.
I think sit her down and say that you aren't annoyed at her and that these are just a practice and that she has plenty of time to turn things around.
Have a look at the entry requirements for whatever she wants to do next year and tell her that she needs to keep this in her sights.
Taking her phone off her shouldn't be a punishment, it's an aid to help her focus on the task at hand.
She should be learning to 'chunk' revision which means to focus on a specific topic or aim so that revision can be approached in a manageable way without feeling overwhelmed.
I'd also tell her to imagine how good she will feel after working hard for the next 4/5 months compared to how bad she will feel if she doesn't put the effort in. Without that effort chances are she will end up repeating Maths and English which then impacts on whatever she is doing next year.
Good luck, hope she does ok in the end!!

aureus3012 · 29/12/2022 15:09

Sorry, I just noticed that it's your son not daughter....apologies!!

megletthesecond · 29/12/2022 15:11

Place marking. I have a bright but lazy too. Refuses to revise even after his first mocks were a bit of a cock up. He'd rather just scrape 4's and 5's without revising.
He still thinks he can sail off to a decent Uni without putting any effort in at all.

FluffyPJs · 29/12/2022 15:31

We had this with my son last year. I think it was combination of thinking he didn't need to revise, and also not wanting to due to loss of interest in school/ learning with the dreaded live lessons in the lockdowns.

He was adamant he didn't care that his mock results were so low. But I think he was actually quite shocked. Then we went to look round the college he wanted to go to and he suddenly realised that to get on the course he needed better grades, and when the tutor there asked him his predicted grades, he realised that actually he did care.

Teenagers sometimes need someone other than parents to say the exact same thing the parents have been saying before they believe it!!

Luckily he had time to turn it round, did more mocks and raised his grades by 1, and then really got his head down for the actual exams and managed to get above 5 for them all except one 4.

Is there a course she is particularly interested in? Maybe someone other than you could have a chat and help guide her with her options.

Boohisspiss · 29/12/2022 15:34

From experience of my lazy teenagers, the shock and embarrassment of sunk mocks, meant they started working properly for the real ones. There is plenty of time, just ask her what she needs a little help on.

MintChocCornetto · 29/12/2022 15:42

Bless her. Sounds like she's had a real jolt of reality.

Main thing is for her not to catastrophise. There's enough time for her to turn things round and get the grades she deserves. It's nowhere near being too late but she does need to knuckle down from now on.

In six months all her exams will be over - she just needs to crack her books open, ask for help from her teachers and put in the time and effort.

If she can make a start today that will help her feel much better about it, perhaps you can help her with a revision plan.

fUNNYfACE36 · 29/12/2022 15:46

I t hinkbypu need to speak to the school.The maths grade U us not a lack of revision, it is a total lack of understanding of everything taught.There"s no point telling her to revise, she needs to be taught the work
At what point were last year's exams ? If they were at the same time of year she would have only been a few weeks into the course

Rebootnecessary · 29/12/2022 15:52

Now is definitely the time to start talking about motivations. As others have said, she needs a goal for where she wants to go after GCSEs. Also, I used to talk to my dcs about visualising what life would be like both achieving the desired goal and not achieving it. Work collaboratively with her to explore her options for post GCSE.