Should I pull DS out of his team sport?

[Trixiepixie6]

Ds has been in this team since he was 6 or 7, he’s 13 now, he’s was a good little player but something happened before the summer and he has been ousted by almost everyone on the team. I don’t know exactly what happened, he basically got dropped out of a big group of friends. They all formed smaller groups and he wasn’t part of any 1 group. I’ve tried to find out what happened but I haven’t found any one thing in particular. He’s always had lots of friends until now. He has asd and can be a bit awkward, but he’s funny and friendly. His confidence has taken a knock therefore his soccer has taken a hit too. It’s so hard watching, no one talks to him etc and he’s losing interest for obvious reasons. I know everyone says kids should do team sports but this can’t be good for him. He’s not interested in video games, sport is his thing. No use bringing this to club or coaches, we already said something way back. You can’t tell that age group to be ‘friends’ with someone if they don’t want to be. I’ve asked him about moving teams but he’s not interested as he’d have to go down a team. He’d rather give up. Any advice please?

Has he considered becoming a referee?

Could he move to another club at all?

What does he want to do?

Would he be interested in trying g a different sport? Rugby for example, or hockey.

I personally think that team sports can be terrible for young ASD teens' confidence.

Would he consider a more individual sport? Karate?
Or, at a push, maybe a less 'mainstream' sport with smaller teams and less 'mainstream' kids? Basketball?

DD14 has recently left her netball team for similar reasons (and that's a smaller team)

Let him decide and support his decision. My ds quit football at 13. He gradually got into other sport activities.

I’m sorry this all happened to your ds. It’s very hard with friendships in school and my son had similar experiences. I hope your ds finds a nice friend.

agree that looking for a different sport might be good, especially something outside the mainstream. climbing or archery or ice hockey or something new

Thanks so much for all the great advice. I suppose I just wanted reassurance that giving up that team is the right thing to do under the circumstances. He does a weight lifting type class once a week and he loves that. He’s mentioned boxing a lot to me but there is no club anywhere nearby.

i have also thought about him changing clubs, I will discuss this with him too.