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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Wwyd - phone prank

43 replies

whattodoijustdontknow · 17/12/2022 17:26

Name changed as I'll probably talk to friends IRL about this too.

DS (13) is at a friends house. I've only met the friend in passing, but they are good friends at school and usually hang out at another friends house (who I know).

My phone just rang, it was DS calling. I answered and heard a voice (not DS obviously)say "I'll rape you", then they put the phone down.

I called back straight away and told DS to come home right now. He said that it was his friends little brother who took the phone as a prank, I said I don't care it was absolutely unacceptable and he needed to leave now. His friend called back about 10 mins later to say sorry it was his little brother and he'd heard stuff on the internet. I said thank you but DS needs to leave now. He's on his way home.

What the actual fuck?! I am both flummoxed and horrified. I've not had to navigate anything like this before. What do I say to DS when he gets home? I won't be letting him go back to that friend's house, which will go down like a lead balloon but I don't really care about that. I'll be explaining to him in very clear terms why the prank call was utterly unacceptable, and also about keeping his phone on him at all times. I have to give him the benefit of the doubt that he wasn't involved.

Is that ok? Enough? Too much? Help!

OP posts:
SirenSays · 17/12/2022 17:29

Wow we did so many prank calls as children but that truly is vile. I'd be coming down like a ton of bricks for that if I'm honest.

Parmavi0lets · 17/12/2022 17:31

That's horrible! The fact that you had an apology from his friend is a good sign and would suggest he's crapping himself that you're going to tell his parents.

Flapjack637 · 17/12/2022 17:33

How old are they OP? I think you also need to speak to the parents. Do they understand what rape means and where have they heard it? Does the phone have any passcode on it? I’d also be making school aware TBH. Is this being said to girls in the playground?

Flapjack637 · 17/12/2022 17:34

Oh sorry I’ve just seen they are 13. Do you know how old brother is?

Fireflygal · 17/12/2022 17:38

That is very serious...I would find out where the boy goes to school and report it. It is not normal for a child younger than 13 to speak like this and to make a call is brazen. I would be concerned for their home life.

How boys treat women is in the news and it starts at this age. I think they need intervention from SS as not a normal prank.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/12/2022 17:38

I’d be tempted to report it to the police.

PeekAtYou · 17/12/2022 17:39

You are punishing your son for something that isn't his fault. Your son might have had his phone in his coat pocket or left his phone on the side while he went to the loo. People should take care of their phones but I think it's healthy for a teenager not to always have it close. I'd be asking how the brother got in - is there no passcode on the phone ?

Telling your ds to come home isn't unreasonable and I would be checking that they weren't all prank calling.

PeekAtYou · 17/12/2022 17:40

I think that you should follow up with the parents. Absolutely disgusting thing to say.

InSummertime · 17/12/2022 17:41

I’d report it to the police and the parents and hope it rains down on them.

Original poster
whattodoijustdontknow · 17/12/2022 17:43

DS is home. We've had a chat about why it was an utterly abhorrent thing to do, about all the amazing women in his life and how it disrespects and is violent towards all of them. I've told him I expect a million times better from him and his friends.

I've told him that he cannot go to that house again, but his friend can come here so I can be around when they are together.
Brother is 9 apparently. Tbh I'm not convinced it was the brother, but DS is absolutely sticking to that story. He said he heard it on the internet. That wouldn't surprise me sadly.

DS is sad and so am I.

I don't know they boy and his parents. If I did I'd be speaking to them.

OP posts:
TroublesomeLuck · 17/12/2022 17:43

Oh for fucks sake, what are the police going to do? Agree it's horrible but it's a kid who for whatever reason doesn't realise how bad it is. The police don't have time to investigate every robbery, let alone a (very bad taste) kid prank call.

Original poster
whattodoijustdontknow · 17/12/2022 17:44

PeekAtYou · 17/12/2022 17:39

You are punishing your son for something that isn't his fault. Your son might have had his phone in his coat pocket or left his phone on the side while he went to the loo. People should take care of their phones but I think it's healthy for a teenager not to always have it close. I'd be asking how the brother got in - is there no passcode on the phone ?

Telling your ds to come home isn't unreasonable and I would be checking that they weren't all prank calling.

I haven't punished him. Ive spoken to him.

OP posts:
Fireflygal · 17/12/2022 17:44

@whattodoijustdontknow Do you know the school he attends?

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/12/2022 17:48

@TroublesomeLuck I don’t think the police will do anything at all.

i do think it might shock the kid who did it into not doing it again.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 17/12/2022 17:48

whattodoijustdontknow · 17/12/2022 17:44

I haven't punished him. Ive spoken to him.

Show quote history

What time does he normally come home?

Kanaloa · 17/12/2022 17:49

Seems unlikely that a nine year old would manage to steal his older brother’s friend’s phone, unlock it, and find ‘mum’ to call with a rape threat. I think it’s far far more likely they were playing some stupid game like the one from the Inbetweeners programme where you swap phones and have to let the other person text or whatever to whoever in the contacts they want. And the friend has done it instead. Hence the panicked call when he was (obviously) caught. Surely if it was the younger brother stealing his friend’s phone he would tell his parents that?

If it was my son, I’d not let him see that friend again. I’d explain that it’s really for him, if his friend’s family find this sort of behaviour acceptable then they aren’t good people to be around. And of course your son wouldn’t want to be around that type of person anyway.

TidyDancer · 17/12/2022 17:49

You really do need to tell the parents about this. It's all kinds of wrong.

cansu · 17/12/2022 17:51

Fgs some people suggesting the police!! OP you have told off your ds and that is enough. However I think it is highly likely that he made a call on his friend's phone. This is how this kind of shit goes. The brother thing sounds like a lie.

onedayiwillmissthis · 17/12/2022 17:54

Please let the parents know about this so that they can take action to prevent their boys doing this type of thing again.

Original poster
whattodoijustdontknow · 17/12/2022 17:54

@Kanaloa I agree that's much more likely. I think it was his friend. It didn't sound like a younger child.
I can't stop him from being friends with him. He's absolutely not allowed to go to his house again. But, my door is open to his friend should he want to invite him over. Which I guess would not be for a while, if ever!
I am going to have to believe DS for now, and hope that he didn't do anything equally as stupid himself. If I find out that he did, he will not know what's hit him, believe me.
I'm hoping that my response today was enough to make him realise fully that behaviour like that is disgusting and what would happen should he be caught doing something similar.

OP posts:
Daffodilis · 17/12/2022 17:59

If indeed it was your sons friend and not his younger brother, then I would question why your son wants to stay friends with someone who spoke to you like that

Ginger1982 · 17/12/2022 18:04

You must know where the house is or have some other way of making contact with the parents.

RedHelenB · 17/12/2022 18:04

Fireflygal · 17/12/2022 17:38

That is very serious...I would find out where the boy goes to school and report it. It is not normal for a child younger than 13 to speak like this and to make a call is brazen. I would be concerned for their home life.

How boys treat women is in the news and it starts at this age. I think they need intervention from SS as not a normal prank.

What's it to do with school? It happened outside of the schoolday. Parents or police to sort it

OriginalUsername2 · 17/12/2022 18:10

Shouldn’t you go round and talk to the parents? No point getting the whole community involved. Kids do bloody stupid things because their naive. No need to eff up his reputation.

Wineandwinelalalala · 17/12/2022 18:17

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · Today 17:38
I’d be tempted to report it to the police.M

wtf why report to the police? Don’t be so silly. Get the parents but police? What would they do