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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Would you be okay with 16yr old DD going out with 18yr old?

8 replies

Rollergirl11 · 30/11/2022 15:42

DD is in Year 12 at 6th form and will be 17 in 3 months. She met this boy at work and they have been seeing a lot of each other the last 2 months. He is 18 turning 19. He drives and has his own car. I am pretty much okay with the age gap. DD is very mature for her age. But DH really hates it. He says he thinks it’s weird that the boy is even interested in DD who is only 16 because she can’t do any of the things that he can, like go to the pub or go clubbing. Of course this is correct and it does limit the things they can do together. But at the moment I don’t think either of them care.

The only thing that slightly concerns me is that it all seems very intense very quickly, despite them both being at pains to say that they’re not in a relationship or girlfriend and boyfriend (the stages/names they have for things nowadays are utterly beyond me). I think there is potential for him to be able to exert control over DD. There have been a few occasions where he has either tried to get DD to change existing plans she has so that she will see him instead. Or he’s insisted on him dropping her where she’s supposed to be going making her change what was originally planned (me or a friend picking her up). Of course this could just be because it’s fresh and new and they’re besotted with each other rather than anything more sinister. DD is definitely not concerned.

So am I reading too much in to this? And does DH have reasonable grounds for concern with the age difference?

OP posts:
Feef83 · 30/11/2022 15:45

So am I reading too much in to this?
Yes

* And does DH have reasonable grounds for concern with the age difference?*
No. As it stands. But that could change. And won’t be due to a 2 year age gap. It will be whether or not he’s a twat

Feef83 · 30/11/2022 15:47

In year 13

ie the year above here

there will be many 18 year olds

TheYearOfSmallThings · 30/11/2022 15:47

I wouldn't have a problem with those ages.

TheEvening · 30/11/2022 15:49

I wouldn't be worried about this age gap at all and at that age everything is very intense!

tiredfedupyawn · 30/11/2022 16:01

No not a problem

Aquamarine1029 · 30/11/2022 16:02

I see no problem with this at all. Your husband is being weird.

JazbayGrapes · 30/11/2022 21:18

I see no problem with this at all. Your husband is being weird.

age is not an issue. But he has a car and can buy alcohol - that might be an issue.

PeekAtYou · 30/11/2022 21:25

I had this conversation with my year 12 16yo
At first glance, it seems unbalanced because one person is over 18 but it's only a school year or two really.

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