16yo daughter in floods due to mock GCSEs

[redblonde]

She's about 10 days into mocks. We've been saying since Sep that she should put some extra work in and she has occasionally, but nothing like what I think she should. Lots of push back etc. So far she's been saying the exams have not been great but not seemed to care. Tonight she broke down crying saying "I can't get bad marks in mocks" I've said how everyone still loves her no matter what, we all have times when we don't do as well as we could. She seems to be hating herself for procrastinating and not revising. She was sobbing in my arms. Then it was like a switch flicked and she was all "it'll be fine" in a dead pan voice. I've put her to bed but I don't know where to go from here? She does need a revision plan, a "little often" rather than leaving it till the last minute but I know the more I suggest that the more she pushes back against it. And I don't want her to feel worse than she already does. Do we wait for results and gently prompt her into coming up with a plan to make sure this doesn't happen for the real exams? Just for context, she is pretty good at school - generally high marks and good at short term memory stuff - I think it's the sheer volume of work that has overwhelmed her. Any suggestions? Thanks

This is why they are mocks, so they are prepared for the real thing. She will get to see where she needs to focus her work in the next few months. She might be hormonal too, it's all overwhelming. But will give her strength in long run. Keep positivity high and pressure gentle at home . It will all be ok and I always say to my kids it's only to get you to the next stage

Good short term memory? Support her with caffeine and junk food while she crams?!

This post makes me sad though. Totally my 16 year old self. I'm 49 now and ADHD diagnosed. Trying to think of something more supportive to say xx

You know your DD best, I have one who is her own harshest critic and doesn't need me to pile in - she works it out for herself in the end. Do you think DD just needed to let it all out and has had the appropriate realisation that she needs to do more? I'm generally a leave them to work it out for themselves rather than come up with revision timetables unless they specifically ask for help with that but I think it depends how much micro managing/involvement in homework has taken place previously.

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your thoughtful comments and they've helped me to stop and think rather than charge in with a revision timetable (which was my first instinct!)

I hope this is her realisation that she needs to do more, but I suspect she is good at compartmentalising that feeling. We had similar in lockdown when she wasn't doing the work that was set, which meant it got so big in her mind it was too hard to start. When this week of mocks is over I think I'll talk to her to try and get her to come up with a plan herself, with our support!

I miss the days when all I had to do was give her a cuddle and read "The Snail and the Whale" to make her happy!

awww OP...the "Snail and the Whale" teared me up
I have fond memories of that one.
Hang in there. Marathon and not sprint yaddi yaddi ya.
(teen DD and GCSE year here too)

Mocks happening now, have ds who has recurrent tonsillitis after glandular fever/hospitalised with EBV but gp won’t do ent referral as they need concurrent 12 infections requiring AB treatment ( this is after gp appointment yesterday)

it takes about 2 weeks to get over each time and the fatigue is crippling

I feel so sorry for him, middle child who is very bright but is at 80% school attendance since EBV infection 18 months ago

so he’s exhausted and feeling extremely upset