Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Do your teens reject personal hygiene?

30 replies

AutisticLegoLover · 20/11/2022 19:28

Dds and their friends seem strangers to deodorant and clean clothes. Dd2 is not too bad but has to be told to shower, wash her hair and use soap and deodorant. It's alien to me as when I was a teen in the late 80s early 90s we were really into smelling great and showering with all the things the body shop and Boots Natural Collection had to offer. Probably too much perhaps. We always did a sniff test of the armpits and would be horrified to be seen as having BO. Chewing gum was as important as oxygen to us incase we had bad breath. I don't think we were paranoid about smelling but smelling good was very important. Dd1 puts on dirty clothes after showering. Puts fresh make up over a face she's slept in and deodorant is apparently unnecessary. She smells awful. She doesn't live with me now but when we see her it's hard not to notice the dirty clothes and smell. I do have a very sensitive nose but even her soap dodging sister says she smells. I thought it was just my kids but their friends are the same with regards to smell. Greasy hair, sweaty smell, and look unkempt. If I say anything to Dds they are highly offended and say they don't need a shower or to use deodorant. What's going on?

OP posts:
PAFMO · 20/11/2022 19:30

No. Quite the opposite.
Never noticed it with the ones I teach either.
Have you told them they smell?

Jojobees · 20/11/2022 19:32

No very much the opposite. Although I have a son. He very much takes care of his appearance and personal hygiene.

Jojobees · 20/11/2022 19:34

Is there adequate access to hygiene supplies and washing facilities where they are living now? Can you ask the guardian?

MadMadMadamMim · 20/11/2022 19:38

Definitely not. DS17 is obsessed with showering/hygiene. Long (expensive) hot showers at least twice a day. Despite being asked to make it quick.

PeekAtYou · 20/11/2022 19:41

How old are they ?
My 16 year old son has 2 showers a day and has swapped Lynx Africa for non-fragranced anti-perspirant deodorant and cologne. If he is going to go out and his hair isn't right then he'll often go for a shower so he can style his hair properly.
When he was 13/14 I had to tell him to take a shower.
I've never had the dirty clothes issue but I have picked up dirty clothes off his bedroom floor as part of my job as cleaning fairy. These days he puts dirty clothes into the wash basket twice a week and makes sure stuff he wants to wear soon is at the top. He has recently become interested in fashion so wants to look good.
His grooming is limited to washing his face with cleanser and brushing his teeth but as a boy he can get away with that.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/11/2022 19:42

When mine were teens, boy and girl, they were both very conscientious of their hygiene.

tunthebloodyalarmoff · 20/11/2022 19:43

All mine shower day and use deodorant they would be horrified if they smelled bad.

emptythelitterbox · 20/11/2022 19:47

No. Neither my DS or DD were ever the smelly kids.
None of my siblings were either.
It just wasn't allowed or acceptable.

helloisitmeyourelookingfor · 20/11/2022 19:48

I have one soap dodger and one clean freak her words not mine

I also work in a high school and yes it is an issue

We are offering all sorts of support to families but they cannot physically strip off and shower their teenagers

Oblomov22 · 20/11/2022 19:48

Ds1 no. But ds2 doesn't seem that interested. But Dh and I prompt him. He has to have a shower after football. But it's not inherent.

Ibouncetothebeat · 20/11/2022 19:52

Im with you! In the school I work in the year 5/6 classes absolutely stink! The BO strong! I went on a residential trip and the coach stuck once they got on, the stench from their rooms was horrific! The girls rooms were the worse! The coach trip back was even worse!

Sarahcoggles · 20/11/2022 19:54

My DSs are very clean and never smell. They had daily baths from the day they were born, I can literally count on the fingers of one hand the number of days they didn't have a bath as kids. Now they're 17 and 13 they shower at least once a day.

AuntieStella · 20/11/2022 19:56

Two of mine went through an insanitary phase. It's common, and it passes

MrsKrankyPants · 20/11/2022 19:56

No mine has a shower every morning before school and wear clean clothes every day. It's just not an option not too.

DeliberatelyObtuse · 20/11/2022 19:59

Mine (17 and 18) shower to within an inch of their lives and wear clean clothes every day

They've always been like this though

AlwaysLatte · 20/11/2022 20:02

My 14 year old son is the complete opposite. At least 2 showers a day, often 3!

mondaytosunday · 20/11/2022 20:06

My son showers at least once a day - twice if been to gym (most days). He had moved out (19), and makes sure he goes to the dentist and hygienist too. My daughter less, but she has a sensitive nose and wears deodorant and fresh clothes every day.

Shodan · 20/11/2022 20:08

My eldest ds (who's now 26) had to be coaxed to shower until he was 15 and a half or 16 I think. After that you couldn't get him out of the shower and the house reeked of Lynx. I also remember long and tedious conversations about hair gel/mousse/clay/mud/whatever.

Ds2 (now 15) has to be reminded sometimes- the words stinky and pewwwwwwwww may be used here- but usually gets up early and showers and dresses (with, obviously, the teenage amount of Lynx applied) before I'm even up.

Stinkiness isn't tolerated here!

Notjusta · 20/11/2022 20:16

My DS15 showers at least once a day and seems pretty concerned with his personal hygiene.

Yourloss · 20/11/2022 20:16

My teenagers are the same although one of them just asked me to buy them some Lynx!

00kitty · 20/11/2022 20:22

My DD at beginning of lockdown 1 (March 2020) year 9 and aged 12 advised us that as she couldn’t go anywhere she was on strike for baths and showers and would not have one until lockdown was over 🥴🫣🤪
thankfully at 7-9 days she grew sick of her own smell and gave in.
Prior to covid she had always needed prompting but at some point during it turned totally around and had to be fresh at all times…I think it’s an age thing, coming out of childhood and becoming a young adult and wanting to preen everything.

FourChimneys · 20/11/2022 20:28

Daily showers and hair washing was the norm here. Their choice but I would not have tolerated smelly people in the house.

Blendiful · 20/11/2022 22:18

Yes for me with DD16.

She is not naturally inclined to take care of her hygiene or much else! It's driving me bonkers!
I was very much as you said at her age, OTT about spray, deodorant etc.

She doesn't shower often, doesn't always wear deodorant, clothes have to be swiped to be washed when she takes them off. Even brushing teeth often has to be checked! No idea why, she has everything available and DS is not like this!

gogohmm · 20/11/2022 22:44

It's not that unusual - I have to remind 2 of ours despite being adults to actually wash their hair, often it's due to mental health problems.

Know lots of young people the same

FrontDoor · 20/11/2022 22:47

DD is very aware of hygiene and showers daily, is always farting with her hair and always wears clean clothes.

DS is a natural soap dodger, but has got a lot better in his late teens. I no longer have to remind him to shower daily. It took a good few years of harping on at home, though.

Swipe left for the next trending thread