DD15 long term relationship

[user328391]

DD has been with her boyfriend for nearly 9 months, he's a lovely lad same age as her. He stays over in the spare room at weekends and she stays at his in the spare room.
She asked last night if he could start sleeping in her bed as they both feel ready. I don't know what to do she's underage but they have shown that they are committed to each other.
Has anyone else had teenagers in long term relationships and feeling ready for sex before 16?

No, it was the spare room here and at his parents house until they were 16.

I think I'd be very firm that this is illegal and you therefore can't condone it in your house. Tell her that if the relationship is meant to be then it will still be going strong when she turns 16 and you'll speak with her again about it.

@Hoppinggreen had they been together long before turning 16?

They had been “friends” since 14 and a couple since around 15 I think. DDs BF is 6 months younger too.
They weren’t allowed to share a room instantly when they both turned 16 either, it was a gradual process agreed by both sets of parents

Now is a good time to talk about

• consent and cohesion
• contraception
• sexually transmitted diseases

As for allowing them to share a bed, absolutely jot. FYI work in safeguarding and a parent knowingly allowing under age sex would be a marker for needing extra parenting support, since it's sub-standard parenting.

Personally with my own children, they wont be sharing a bed until over 18, at least. My eldest is 18 and she's never asked.

9 months is not a long term relationship. I would not encourage my child to be sharing a bed with a boy/girlfriend under the age of consent.
Use the time to discuss consent, contraception and respect for both themselves and their partner.

I would say no. It is not legal.

If it is meant to be, they will still be together at 16. In the meantime, there is more to a loving relationship than sex and the fact that they haven't done the deed yet doesn't make their relationship subpar.

If this is a dealbreaker for her boyfriend, then just reassure her that she has dodged a very unpleasant bullet.

It is great that she feels able to speak to you about this though

No, I wouldn’t condone it.

my rule for boyfriends staying in the same room is 16 and left school which I think is fair.

I’d also say no.

Feeling ready is not a good enough reason

I don’t agree with allowing children to “play house”. It makes it harder for them to end the relationship if they decide they want to and it also puts pressure on them to spend more time together when maybe they would be better off spending time with their friends or family.

50 percent of pregnancies are still accidental. Have they talked about contraception?

I've issued a very firm no to my DD14 about having a 'sleepover' at her BFs house. They've known each other since they started primary school and been in a romantic relationship for over 6 months. He is a year older than her. Both have early March birthdays so he'll be 16 next year. Thankfully she talks to me and he talks to his mum, so she and I have had a chat to confirm how we best deal with them. Our line is that 16 is the legal age, they need to slow down and just enjoy each other's company without sex, when they are both over 16 then they will have shown a long commitment so if they want to then that's okay, in the meantime I chat to DD about safe, consensual sex. I've sent DD articles about a study which shows how many girls in particular regret having sex at a young age.