Feel like I'm dying from the inside out.

[wanttoleavenow]

Just that really. Any suggestions welcome please.

My child is slowly healing from being assaulted, it is a very slow process but the progress is visible which is remarkable after such a life changing and traumatic experience. There are constant reminders for her and unfortunately she still comes into contact with the perpetrator which is a constant reminder.

All energies and focus has been on getting her through this past year. I've just started to acknowledge trauma is consuming me and I genuinely feel very unwell, very anxious, very frightened ,on edge and sick really. So much so that I'm awake at 3am again panicking and checking the children are ok.

What can I do to help myself heal and move forward. I do the odd meditation and try to keep physically active. It's not enough.

I'm so worried that one day I might be no use to the children whatsoever due to how I'm feeling.

Do you have anyone to talk to in real life? A good therapist?

It sounds so terribly hard, OP.

Has the perpetrator been prosecuted? How can you get them out of all your lives?

So sorry OP to read what you’ve been through as a family. Your dd has been very lucky to have your support and you need to look after yourself. My sister was seriously assaulted a few years ago and when I was helping her and my mum deal with it at the time, including talking to the police etc, for me it was like being on auto pilot and it wasn’t until later that I fell apart. I have had some CBT sessions over the past year which I paid for privately to talk about my anxiety which really helped. This also helped me to address other areas in my life that I was struggling with.

I really empathise with your struggles with lack of sleep as well. I recommend transdermal magnesium oil which I spray on and apply to my skin in the morning and before I go to bed. I really wanted to try a natural solution first before medication and I really believe it has helped me to sleep better and feel calmer. Take care of yourself.

Sending you so much love and strength ❤️❤️❤️

Have you tried yoga? It can really help to distress and calm the nervous system and maybe reconnect with inner peace...... I offer a zoom class on donation basis - you very welcome to come join us xxx

I could have written your post OP. Dd2 was assaulted on the 23rd December last year. Drugged and sexually assaulted and we eventually found her wandering around at 2 in the morning in an awful state. It was the stuff of literal nightmares.

I can't stop reliving it. She is-ok-on the face of it and has refused counselling as she says she doesn't want to rake it all up and she can't remember much of what happened. I think that's a mistake but I can't force her.
I've been alright until a few months ago and now I just can't stop thinking about it.

I need some counselling probably but I can't afford it and I also don't want to make something that was about her about me in any way. I need to be stronger than I am but I'm really struggling.