Feel like I'm loosing touch with my boy.

[mumsoutnumbered]

Does any other Mums feel like they are loosing touch with their children?

DS is 15, we have always shared such a beautiful close bond, but I've found since he has started his final year of secondary school he has drifted from me. DH says I'm too much of a helicopter parent but he never does anything with the boys anyway.

Just feel like I'm loosing my boy, feel like he'd rather go and play video games with his friends than sit and watch Strictly with his Mum like he used to.

At this age I too felt like I'd suddenly lost a limb!

Things that helped...

I'd offer him a late night trip to the drive thru, we'd park up and eat and chat.
I'd trawl through Netflix and find things for us to watch, we watched stuff like Luther, Sherlock etc I relaxed about eating at the table and often found the offer of TV dinner meant we'd have a lovely few hours together.
I was generous with lifts and always happy to pick friends up too. This meant I always had a good knowledge of friends names etc and I actually loved having a car full of chatty teenage boys and always let them choose the music too!
Some of our most meaningful conversations were in the car, particularly at around 15-16 when the occasional drinking started!

Ds is 18 now and we have a great relationship. He's a lovely young man and although he's mostly not at home these days, I have slowly adapted to the change and feel happy that we have the connection that we do when he's around.

OP, it is very normal but that's not much comfort.

I found sneaky ways around it to bond with them at that age. e.g.

They weren't allowed into lots of gigs without someone over 18, so I went to gigs with them.
On holiday we went for sporty challenges that appealed to them, like climbing UKs highest peaks or kayaking down rivers.
I took them out to breakfast/brunch on Sundays, somewhere they wanted to go and asked questions about their dreams for the future (stuff like - if you had a billion what sort of house would you live in? Or - what is your dream adult life) That would spark chats about ways to work towards having a life they wanted.

They act like they don't need you but they so do.

All this. Try Top or a lurid horror and the junk food of their choice.

It's their job to individuate at this age. It means you have been a good mum.

*Top Gun

Taking the advice of another poster who suggested a video game (I'm not into gaming at all). I went upstairs last night putting washing away and he wasn't chatting to any of his friends so I asked him for a game of FIFA! The shock on his face was great but he agreed to try and teach me and omg we laughed for about half an hour because I was so shit! He did kick me out after that because his mate came online but it was fun and felt really good to laugh together for once.

It is quite normal. I used to watch some TV programs with him that we both liked. Does he do sports? If yes do you go to training and matches so that you have something to chat about?
The other thing I used to do is take him for coffee and cake, Mc Donalds or pizza.
Those were always a winner. Now that he is grown up we sometimes go shopping together if i want to treat him or we go for dinner, cinema or theatre.