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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

I seem to have inherited another teen child in my house - how on earth do I feed an extra mouth?

43 replies

stirling · 02/11/2022 22:20

Ds 17 is in a full on relationship, spends time at gf's house but honestly, she's here an awful lot. We live close to the college so it's convenient for them both to come here. And then they're standing staring at my usually empty fridge.

Meals were usually good quality meat/fish but enough for three- ie me and my two teenagers.

Now we have an extra mouth to feed and I feel like I should stock up on larger portion stews, casseroles etc but expensive!

What do you leave out for teens and their friends /lovers?

OP posts:
Ilovetocrochet · 04/11/2022 06:32

My son had hollow legs when he was 17, he did end up 6 ft 7 ins tall so understandable! I used to buy cheap bread and flora marg so he could eat as much toast as he needed as snacks between meals. If he had friends round, they often are two to three loaves at a time but it did not cost a lot!

nellytheelephant1980 · 04/11/2022 06:35

alwaysmovingforwards · 02/11/2022 22:46

"Right, we're having dinner in about an hour, so best you head back home for yours also, don't want your parents to think you've gone missing eh".

Simple.

This!

Kissingfrogs25 · 04/11/2022 07:16

what are you doing op???

You are not a homeless shelter for waifs and strays.

The girlfriend needs to go home for dinner!! It is not difficult, as most people do that. It is polite to offer a drink and a biscuit and that is it. Nothing else is needed or required.
JC where are your boundaries op? Tell your son gf needs to go home for meals, she is welcome to stay if they are getting a takeaway and paying for it themselves, but otherwise it is simply not affordable to have one extra mouth to feed every day.

freefromthattoxicmess · 04/11/2022 07:27

Mumsnet is such an odd place.

Some of us like having guests, enjoy getting to know our DC's friends and want to provide food if we can.

It doesn't make us mugs, or "doormats" it makes us hospitable.

If you want to run a home where DC:s friends aren't really welcome, that's fine, you do you. But stop imposing your values on others.

The OP asked for cheap food suggestions, not advice on chucking the girlfriend out.

Fridaynightmare · 04/11/2022 07:35

Do they have jobs op? When I was that age my boyfriend and I would often buy our own food in at each other's house such as takeaways or pizzas and then have say one family dinner a week.

It's very kind you feeding them both on a regular basis but I feel at 17 they shouldn't be standing round the kitchen all the time like baby birds waiting for you to provide.

bookmarket · 04/11/2022 07:42

I think this is harder to work around when you only have daughter's and they bring home the boyfriend who could eat himself as much as I usually cook for 3 or 4 of us 😁
I just buy more and cook more though because I like having people over for dinner and live having young people around the table. If boyfriend is over often, I do also make DD and him cook for themselves too and usually they will cook pasta.

LizzieSiddal · 04/11/2022 07:51

I think this is harder to work around when you only have daughter's and they bring home the boyfriend who could eat himself as much as I usually cook for 3 or 4 of us 😁

Agree with this. Having 2 Dds who used to bring their friends around, which always included boys, I was so shocked at how much they ATE. It was quite astonishing.

Doingmybest12 · 04/11/2022 07:58

It is lovely to get to know friends and welcome them but that's not the same as them taking advantage and not being aware they are eating you out of house and home. I would have a chat and be honest about what you can provide, also occasionally send them shopping with your money to get some bits of food to show it is not magically appearing in the fridge and it is a job someone is doing, I occasionally deliberately run out of something and don't immediately re stock too. I know they aren't stupid but like everyone they can be unthinking or unaware.

Taswama · 04/11/2022 08:03

@bookmarket , yes I was thinking - count yourself lucky it's not a boyfriend he's bringing home!

Basically make sure there are always cheap carbs like bread, crumpets, teacakes, potatoes and pasta available.

Roserunner · 04/11/2022 08:08

I met DH at 17 do we were prob similar to your son. I can't remember which parent initiated it but we sorted a set day a week where we would have dinner at each others house so our parents weren't put on the spot.

It think we prob sorted ourselves out at the weekend and had dinner at our individual homes the rest of the week.

Kissingfrogs25 · 04/11/2022 11:14

freefromthattoxicmess · 04/11/2022 07:27

Mumsnet is such an odd place.

Some of us like having guests, enjoy getting to know our DC's friends and want to provide food if we can.

It doesn't make us mugs, or "doormats" it makes us hospitable.

If you want to run a home where DC:s friends aren't really welcome, that's fine, you do you. But stop imposing your values on others.

The OP asked for cheap food suggestions, not advice on chucking the girlfriend out.

This is such a lame reply. Of course we ALL want to get to know our children's friends and boyfriends! The usual way to go would be to invite the gf for dinner once a week, a roast, a BBQ, a games night. Not have her there day in and day out, and feel obliged to feed her! That is not getting to know anyone, that is just being a mug.

Send her home for dinner, do things on your own terms. Op has said she can't afford the extra costs, so your reply is tone deaf at best.

Kissingfrogs25 · 04/11/2022 11:17

"spends time at gf's house but honestly, she's here an awful lot. We live close to the college so it's convenient for them both to come here. And then they're standing staring at my usually empty fridge"

"I seem to have inherited another teen child in my house - how on earth do I feed an extra mouth?"

This is not someone with oodles of cash that can afford the extra teen. This is someone that wants to be welcoming but is struggling to afford it.

I think ds and the gf are taking advantage. Fine if you can afford, less fine if not.

howdoyougethingsdone · 04/11/2022 11:20

You should encourage him to take it in turns to eat at her house too. That way it won't cost you any more money!

In fact it will probably be more costly for her parents as teenage lads tend to eat a lot more than teenage girls!

Original poster
stirling · 08/11/2022 18:47

Thank you again everyone. It's true that I've not got enough to suddenly feed an extra mouth everyday, but also true that I don't want to be inhospitable.
Update, I've spoken to DS and we're getting there, some dinners here, others at her house. They're inseparable which I can't do much about other than warning ds about abandoning everything else in his life!
I've stocked up on some cheap foods too as suggested on here.
As you all know it's going to be a case of several reminders...

OP posts:
TheWayTheLightFalls · 08/11/2022 19:03

I’d designate some unlimited items - porridge, jam, bread, cheddar, instant noodles, a pack or two of 30p biscuits? - and keep them in one spot for these two.

Orangesandlemons77 · 08/11/2022 19:31

Get them to download the app Too Good to Go, they can pick up cheaply stuff from local cafes and e.g. Greggs, my teens love it

freesoul12 · 08/11/2022 19:36

Perhaps pot noodles.

fiorentina · 09/11/2022 15:50

I think it’s nice they want to hang out at your house, and you don’t seem to not want them there so hopefully some cheap meal ideas above will help.
I like if my DC have friends around. I’d like our house to be a place they all feel comfortable but serving cheaper options or asking for contributions is also fine in my view.

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