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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Failing miserably!

8 replies

Runaround50 · 31/10/2022 10:58

DS is 14.5.

He has over the last year, become extremely opinionated on a range of issues. His opinions are irrational, extreme and worrying. He shows a complete disregard for authority and is very anti establishment.

The negativity is the most concerning though. He fails to see the good in anything or anybody. Everyone is always wrong and he is always right. If challenged at any time, he immediately turns the tables on the person who is challenging him. It's like he takes no responsibility for his actions or words.

Most worrying is the intolerance of others and the use of what I consider derogatory language towards certain sectors of society.

He appears influenced by a rapper Lil Naz x?

My immediate thought was that maybe he is being groomed online? Schizophrenia? He lacks empathy and compassion completely.

Yesterday he had a huge blow up with my mum and dad re: how he was speaking. It was awful and we were all really shocked and upset. Made worse by the fact that we don't see my family often due to living far away.

I would like to think he's saying these things to shock, provado? Making his mark? But I'm not sure now. These attitudes are going to land him in alot of trouble soon.

Not sure how to tackle this going forward.

OP posts:
Bookishish · 31/10/2022 12:38

Does he have friends? Has anything been said at school?

I'd start by having a look at his internet history and phone. What sort of derogatory language is he using?

Runaround50 · 31/10/2022 12:46

He has friends, but they are a select few. Friends have been scaled down hugely over the years.

Nothing has been mentioned at school, but I've just emailed his form tutor now.

Derogatory language towards LGBT community/ gender fluid etc.

Most concerning is he lacks empathy and compassion towards people. He is cold/ unforgiving. Almost heartless.

Neither myself or my partner hold these views ourselves.

OP posts:
Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 31/10/2022 12:48

Personally he would be grounded until he can evolve into a decent member of society...

Runaround50 · 31/10/2022 13:22

I've found the source. Andrew Tate on Tik tok. Very harmful and extreme views on a range of issues. There is an online grooming group aimed at boys specifically from the age of 13.

OP posts:
Bookishish · 31/10/2022 17:39

Urgh, I would get him off that stuff as quick as you can. Utterly toxic.

Is there any chance he would take up an activity IRL eg a sport out of school? Doing something not online where he meets a range of people would really help, I think.

I'm surprised he's homophobic if he's a fan of Lil Naz x.

Runaround50 · 31/10/2022 21:20

@Bookishish yes it's pretty grim isn't it?

Well, he does Muay Thai and Brazilian jujitsu several times a week and the gym/ running. I'm hoping he doesn't want to be a fighter like Andrew bloody Tate !

OP posts:
wishmyhousetidy · 31/10/2022 21:33

I would have a serious chat with him about this person and do your research first. Some schools are apparently doing assembles on this man as his views are so toxic

RudsyFarmer · 31/10/2022 21:41

Isn’t Little Nars X the gay rapper whose rap is pretty mainstream? I wouldn’t worry too much about that. The rest of it is probably his friendship group. I would give consequences for the bad behaviour and hope the rest of it comes out in the wash over time.

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