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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Bedroom argument between kids

27 replies

Cyclingmum212 · 30/10/2022 19:04

After the worst year, me and my 2 kids are moving soon into a house away from my horrible ex.
Kids both want the same room. I have tried talking to both of them but neither are willing to change their mind.
Any ideas how to resolve this? Life has been so rubbish that I don't want to upset either of them but feel completely stuck in the middle. I have 17 yr old son and 16 yr old daughter.
My son thinks it should come down to whoever is the most helpful with moving but whoever I decide, the other will disagree. My daughter thinks she should get it as my son sometimes stays at his girlfriends.
Help!!! I want this to be a new start with both my kids happy.

OP posts:
HauntedCabinet · 30/10/2022 19:05

Toss a coin.

Craftybodger · 30/10/2022 19:06

What’s the difference between the room the youth want and the other room?

Violettaa · 30/10/2022 19:07

Yep, toss a coin. There’s no obvious fair way, so if you try to work out who deserves it most, the other one will be resentful.

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 30/10/2022 19:08

You have it?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/10/2022 19:08

What's the difference between the two? Does the 17yos girlfriend ever stay over at yours?

Who now spends more time in their room?

Who currently has the "better" room?

What is it about the room they want that makes them want it?

Will the 17yo move out for uni?

Beamur · 30/10/2022 19:09

You decide?
Or could they have it each for 6 months and then swap.
What is the argument about - it is size or is there something like an en suite?

toastofthetown · 30/10/2022 19:09

Is it that one room is much smaller than the other (desired room)? If so, could you take the box room to allow you teenagers to have a bigger room, as teenagers spend more time in their room than adults do. Otherwise you could draw straws, toss a coin, but the one who doesn't get the room they want won't be happy about it.

Is the 17 year old likely to be going to university next year? Because one compromise could be that he gets the room until he moves out for uni, then your daughter takes that room.

Original poster
Cyclingmum212 · 30/10/2022 19:10

I've got the bedroom with the en suite. One room faces into the road and the other over the back garden. They both want the one at the front. It's very slightly bigger but that doesn't seem to be the issue. They both want it because it's at the front.

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 30/10/2022 19:10

What makes this room so preferable .

Floralnomad · 30/10/2022 19:11

In that case toss a coin and the winner gets the first 6 months and then they swap - hopefully by the time the 6 months is up they will want to stay where they are .

Original poster
Cyclingmum212 · 30/10/2022 19:12

17 yr old not going to Uni.
16 yr old probably will but obviously not for 2.5 years.

OP posts:
meltingmyhead · 30/10/2022 19:12

Can you offer whoever takes the back room something to make the room nicer?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/10/2022 19:13

Is it the one furthest from you?

BruceAndNosh · 30/10/2022 19:14

Whoever agrees to take the room facing back garden gets a "redecoration budget"
Front bedroom gets nothing

Original poster
Cyclingmum212 · 30/10/2022 19:14

I have thought about offering them money to take the other room 😂

It's a town house so my room with en-suite is at the top. The other 2 rooms are on the middle floor.

OP posts:
Beamur · 30/10/2022 19:22

How about DS gets it but on the understanding that once he goes to Uni, his sister gets it.
That seems fair to me.

LittleOwl153 · 30/10/2022 19:25

If there isn't significant size difference, I would toss a coin. And don't soon so they don't continue to bicker... or tell them they have 1 week to agree between them or you will toss a coin...

Original poster
Cyclingmum212 · 30/10/2022 19:27

I like that idea. Give them the opportunity to resolve it or I'll toss a coin.
And might add that whoever gets the back room gets to redecorate first.

OP posts:
MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 30/10/2022 19:28

Tell them to stop being brats. You are getting out of a bad situation and all they stress that entails. They either sort it out now, or you toss a coin.

runninglikewater · 30/10/2022 19:29

I agree just toss a coin, no more negotiation.

If they manage not to be dicks about it, you might consider a swap in a couple of years.

I expect once they settle in they won't be bothered any more.

Craftybodger · 30/10/2022 19:34

Who has had the better bedroom til now? Who chose who went where last time?

I agree to an incentive for the one choosing the back bedroom.

Original poster
Cyclingmum212 · 30/10/2022 19:35

That's what I'm hoping. Thanks everyone. 👍

OP posts:
Original poster
Cyclingmum212 · 30/10/2022 19:36

@Craftybodger They were babies when we moved to this house so they didn't get to decide. They have similar size rooms now.

OP posts:
Craftybodger · 30/10/2022 19:38

It sounds as if you can’t put a pin between them! Is it the view of the front that they want? Could you put a web cam downstairs, so they can watch for visitors? (Trying to come up with any reason for the appeal of the front one!!)

Goldbar · 30/10/2022 19:45

Throw in a sweetener for the one who takes the back room.