Football

[Snoopystick]

Just wondering what everyone else would do on this situation. My son turned 17 last week and has started to play for a local men’s football team on Saturdays. Today he was playing and I’m watching. He doesn’t have his best game and a spectator starts saying things like “who’s this f’ing crap’ and other similar things directly about him for about 40 minutes. After the game I explained who I was and how it’s not on etc, but he basically shrugged it all off and said it’s an adults game etc etc. I’m still annoyed about it now but maybe I should have shrugged it off?

It is dreadful. My son played from u6 and is now an adult and still plays. He's a goalkeeper and has spent his playing life getting absolute dogs abuse from adults on the side line even though he's a proper amateur!

Well done for confronting him. I honestly think these people get caught up in the moment and think they will get away with it it.

I hope your son didn't hear and he continues to play!

Thanks Bananachunk. Just needed to type it out to get it off my chest. I don’t know why men seem to think that it’s manly to be so horrible sometimes.

It is absolutely vile and he should be ashamed

Hockey mum's are not any different sadly.

Though I did witness a wonderful moment when my DS was playing a rugby match. One of the dad's from the opposing team was constantly criticising his own son's performance in a rude and coarse way. A teammate from my DS team got fed up with this, saw that it was affecting this boy and shouted to the loud rude dad " I don't think you could do any better you fat bastard".

Parents from both sides burst out laughing and the rude dad stormed off. I still feel sorry for his son though.

Do you mean men's rather than youth?

Hi, yes it’s a men’s local side. They can play from 16 onwards in the men’s teams I think.

Ahh that’s fab - good in her!

Grr bad typing. Meant “good for her”

And even then I meant “good for him” I’m blaming the menopause….

Look up Respect in the FA or grassroots football websites. I'm sure these apply to the adult as well as youth/child games.
If the club is official they should have a code of conduct.
My son plays for Youths and a parent from each side dons a Respect bib for matches. This sort of thing never happens in his league.

He's playing in a mens team and you challenged a spectator?! I suggest you don't go in future. Your son would not doubt be mortified and have the piss taken out of him big time by his team mates. It definitely won't help him to settle into the team.

It's the nature of football and whilst I can understand it if your child is 8, he's a grown man!

I'm afraid football fans can be harsh critics. If you aren't used to footballing environments I can understand your shock, but in future I would really not say anything

It’s not that I’m not used to a football environment, he’s been playing since he was 4. I know it’s a big change going from youth to men’s hence why I was asking if I’d done the right thing. He wasn’t embarrassed - we had a conversation about it on the way home.

I’m not sure why people shouldn’t be challenged if they are using hateful language but maybe that’s just me.

Your son may tell you he's not embarrassed but if his team mates heard you, I'm sorry but he will be. Ask ANY guy who has stepped into adult football to tell you honestly how parents challlenging gobby spectators would be perceived, and it wouldn't be positive. You will always get idiots at football matches but I'm not sure what you thought you would get out of challenging him. You must know that he literally wouldn't care. Best thing you can do is support him to laugh it off because it won't be the last time he hears it. Just encourage him to remember, it's easy for spectators to have an opinion, far harder to put the boots on and be on the pitch. Hope he enjoys the rest of the season. It's a steep learning curve!

I really wouldn't be playing Mum and challenging abuse on his behalf withcsn adults team.

If he wants to challenge it, he should do that himself. You doing it makes your son look like a dick.

My almost 17yo is now playing in an adult 5 a side league with his mates, as well as an U18 11 a side team. We don't watch him at the 5 a side - its the girlfriends (or mates) that watch there, not parents.

Have to say - my DD18's ladies adult 11 a side team are far worse for abuse, language and violence.

It’s interesting as I’m sure in other situations that were similar but not football parents would step in and challenge people. His team mates didn’t hear me and I spoke to the man, I didn’t shout or try to embarrass him. My son hasn’t even started driving yet so still need to take him and I enjoy watching the matches usually. I wouldn’t have said anything if it had been a few comments but it was pretty much the whole of the second half and the man even referred to him as a kid so he knew he was younger. I’m just disappointed really that people can be so nasty in sport and think it’s ok to target others. For those of you not agreeing with me, that’s ok but it’s actually fortified my belief that I did the right thing from the language you’ve used.