How do you deal with loneliness?

[xXChloeXx]

I have two children, 15 and 12 and whilst I understand they're growing up I just feel so lonely now that my youngest is always with her friends. I feel like I'm grieving it's so odd but such an empty lonely feeling, it's really getting me down. Can anyone relate?

Absolutely understand, and you’re not alone. There are many stages of grieving as your children, once so dependent, move away, and you’re at the beginning of a road.

Take credit that you’re doing your job well though. They’re growing up and away, with the confidence that comes from a loving parental home. For this to continue your job now is to develop your own interests to fill the gaps your children leave, so they don’t have to worry and stress about leaving you behind.

It’s a long process, and you have many years, but the best thing you can do now for both you and them is to focus back on you and how to improve and fill your life.

Friends, clubs, hobbies, and may I also suggest volunteering? There are groups in most areas of the UK who would really benefit from some hours of your time, and it benefits you in so many ways.
Grow your own life. Your relationship with your children will benefit and strengthen as it changes.

Hi,

Thank you for your reply. I'm doing a full time social work degree and will be starting my final placement soon so I will be very busy then. Have done lots of volunteering on the past, I really enjoyed it so it might be something to think about for weekends.

Hi
Just wanted to say you're not alone in feeling like this!! I have felt so lonely and such a sense of loss since my daughter hit 'full teen"!

I keep fretting that I wasted her childhood by being busy, and didn't realise how bloody precious every moment is.

I love her so much it hurts.

It doesn't help that I'm a single mum, so don't have another adult to stop me from wallowing!

I'm doing an OU degree and have been on a couple of Bumble dates but I feel like mothering a troubled teenager, and a non-stop 10 year old is pretty all-consuming at the moment.

Hi barnowls, thank you for your reply. It's taking time for me to adjust to not having them around, I'd really like to meet someone to be honest. I went out with a friend the other night so that was nice, I just miss my kids but I'm sure it'll get easier. We have breaks and holidays away together.

It sounds like you are being really hard on yourself! You obviously work really hard and that is so your kids can have a comfortable, secure life. I'm doing a degree too and it's tough but we are strong and can handle it! Please don't beat yourself up, you are doing amazingly well.

Same here @xXChloeXx
Doesn't matter how much I tell myself it's the way it should be, I still miss DD. I do need to build up my social life more - I work long hours so have been used to keeping weekends for family time - but even if I succeed I'll still miss her.

Me too!
I love spending time with my DS but obviously it's the way it should be.
I think it's called empty nest syndrome?

It is so hard isn't it! They're 12 and 15 and just seems it's happened over night. We are going to a bonfire tonight so that'll be nice 😊

I might be odd but I am glad to get more time with my DH,friends and myself
And love seeing my DC enjoying their lives

No that's not odd. I love seeing my kids happy, that after all is the main thing. However what is odd having children around you for over 15 years and all of a sudden they rarely need you anymore, Their happiness is what matters but it's still really strange to me and make me sad they've grown up so quickly