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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

13 year old got kicked in the face. Police involved

20 replies

Cccclc87 · 14/10/2022 19:49

Hi, we've moved to a new area afew years ago. My 13 year old is still kinda new to going out to the park etc. 5 days ago, some well know trouble caused has kicked my son in the face and recorded it on snaochat. This is the 2nd time hes had an altercation with my child. We've informed the police as my son has a bad cut/bruise. And they've said he is well known (got kicked out of school now goes to a special needs school) and do we want to press charges. They are both 13. I'm am so worried that my son will have to deal with this in school from this boys friends or if I see them walking with my daughter etc. Police said he will go straight to a young offenders institute. Im worried for my child going out. I guess I don't know what I'm asking advice on really just a vent I think. X

OP posts:
Farmageddon · 14/10/2022 20:01

I'm sorry OP, that's so awful - your poor son. It's good that you went to the police, it shows your son that you are taking it seriously. Can they confiscate the phone and delete the video?
I'm sure your son will not be the last victim of this boy, perhaps he needs to be taught a lesson. Do you know anything about his family situation, or his parents?

mathanxiety · 14/10/2022 20:02

Press charges.

The police clearly want him off the streets.

Talk to school, and talk to the police about your fears of retaliation.

JAC76 · 14/10/2022 20:37

How horrible for your son, I’m so sorry this has happened to him. My son is 12 and starting to explore freedom a bit more, it’s terrifying!

It sounds like if you wanted to press charges it will be taken seriously.

Original poster
Cccclc87 · 15/10/2022 09:27

It's awful isn't it!? 😩 the police are going round today or tomorrow. The other boys mum can't control him and he's always in trouble. She said to do what we need to do. (My husband has been in touch with her on online)

I hate this time 😩

Thankyou all x

OP posts:
MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 15/10/2022 09:33

Were there other witnesses that will come forward? I'm just concerned he could deny it and the video will delete off snapchat. Its then his word against your sons, in a legal sense.

I'm sure the police believe your son, but proving it enough to get a juvenile custodial sentence is a different matter entirely.

Original poster
Cccclc87 · 16/10/2022 10:43

Hi, the other lad has admitted it. Had a missed called off the police last night so presuming theyve been round. We are not pressing charges now. Just hopefully scare the boy 🙉 x

OP posts:
OhhSugar · 16/10/2022 10:45

Your sons been kicked in the face and humiliated on Snapchat and you're not pressing charges?!

HouseBook · 16/10/2022 10:47

got kicked out of school now goes to a special needs school)

So this boy has SEN? Not suggesting that makes his behaviour ok but it makes a strange the police are saying he would go straight to young offenders, he needs support and input from authorities that can help, and if parents are not doing anything they obviously need the support as well.

I'm so sorry for your son and I hope he is ok going forward.

ChocFrog · 16/10/2022 10:49

Are you in America OP? I ask because in the UK, the decision whether or not to prosecute lies with the police /CPS. There is no such thing as pressing charges in the UK.

Anyway it is your decision and a very difficult one. I would try very hard to get him put away in an institute which would actually help him sort out his behaviour, but if you feel that’s unwise in your situation then that’s up to you.

I’m so sorry this happened 😢

Stomacharmeleon · 16/10/2022 13:34

I am struggling with the ' straight to young offenders' bit. That is so so unlikely and I just don't see why they would tell you that.
In my experience.
And I wonder if he attends a PRU rather than an SEN school?

Original poster
Cccclc87 · 17/10/2022 20:58

Hi, hes been kicked out of 2 schools for fighting and drugs. It's a behaviour school hes at now. Hes well known to the police. Hes been in trouble plenty of times. The police told us to press charges. (We've not as we've got to think of the consequences) ef. My son at school, in the neighbourhood or having oir windows put through by his family/friends. We sre in the UK.

Police have been to speak to him last night. No updates yesterday as we had a missed call and no voicemail. X

OP posts:
redbigbananafeet · 17/10/2022 21:00

I think it's your moral duty to press charges. Young offenders might get him straightened out. And get him off the streets before he kills someone. Just imagine the adult he'll become if he doesn't get sorted now.

Vapeyvapevape · 17/10/2022 21:09

ChocFrog · 16/10/2022 10:49

Are you in America OP? I ask because in the UK, the decision whether or not to prosecute lies with the police /CPS. There is no such thing as pressing charges in the UK.

Anyway it is your decision and a very difficult one. I would try very hard to get him put away in an institute which would actually help him sort out his behaviour, but if you feel that’s unwise in your situation then that’s up to you.

I’m so sorry this happened 😢

I also don't think you can choose whether to press charges in the uk , it's up to the CPS , not the individual.

weekendninja · 17/10/2022 21:17

If the OPs DS doesn't want to make a complaint the police will not run with it - they have no evidence.

I'd imagine that the youth would be dealt with by the Youth Offending Team in the first instance, depending on his offending history. The aim of this is to keep the kids out of court and be dealt with via other interventions.

CandyLeBonBon · 17/10/2022 21:20

Not sure the police have the authority to determine the outcome of any court case op - sounds like a very disturbing situation for you, but I would take the comments you've heard with a pinch of salt

Georgeskitchen · 17/10/2022 21:44

weekendninja · 17/10/2022 21:17

If the OPs DS doesn't want to make a complaint the police will not run with it - they have no evidence.

I'd imagine that the youth would be dealt with by the Youth Offending Team in the first instance, depending on his offending history. The aim of this is to keep the kids out of court and be dealt with via other interventions.

This is precisely why these little shits think they are untouchable. Put them in front of a judge and deal with them properly, is my opinion

weekendninja · 17/10/2022 21:45

@Georgeskitchen I couldn't agree more.

Colderthanever · 17/10/2022 21:48

So if you don’t press charges what will you do when he does it again and worse?

redbigbananafeet · 17/10/2022 23:57

I cannot imagine willingly choose not to press charges against someone who KICKED MY SON IN THE HEAD!

Original poster
Cccclc87 · 18/10/2022 17:09

Like I said, ive got to think of my son in school and this kids mates and family whenever we leave the house etc. Dont want our windows putting through or anything.. this is on record now forever so hopefully won't happen again!

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