Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

A very angy/aggressive teen girl

6 replies

Mumgoingcraycray · 14/10/2022 18:25

Hi all,

I am a single mum and have been for the last three years. The children dad is around and helps as much as he can. We have an ok relationship. However my 14 years old teenage daughter has been driving us crazy. Her behaviour has been getting progressively worse in the mornings especially at mine as she gets up earlier to catch a bus. This morning we had a big blowup and it was getting aggressive and I walked away but not after she hit me and pulled my hair. She did end up going to school . Mornings have been hell but come afternoon and evenings she is a different child . Very chatty and wants my attention. She says she doesn't sleep but I can't validate that ad I sleep early. I would like some ideas how can I make mornings easier as I have a little boy as well .. she really doesn't want to get up and she kicks and hides her face so there is no communications. I mention that as she is hard of hearing and can't hear without her hearing aids so when she hides her face there is no way to communicate with her..

Please help. I am extremely frustrated

OP posts:
thedoofus · 15/10/2022 11:40

Hi OP

First, sympathies. It sounds really difficult. On the positive side, it's really good that she's cheery and chatty in the afternoons. Can you talk to her about it in one of those phases and see what she thinks.

I have a DD who sleeps late and finds it hard to get up in the morning. DH was the same as a teen. We ask as little of her as we can in the mornings (e.g., not expected to chat about her day/sit in the kitchen with us and have breakfast). I endeavour to get her to get as ready as she can the night before, with mixed success rates!

What's she doing before bed - does she have her phone/computer etc. Can you switch off wifi when you go to bed so at least that bit of it is under control. Can you get her to agree on a winding down routine and lights off time.

I have no real idea about the hard of hearing part, I'm afraid. Presumably she won't hear an alarm clock and you have to wake her. Have you considered/tried a sunrise alarm clock (I think lumie is a common brand). Apologies if that's really basic and obvious.

The hitting you and pulling your hair obviously isn't OK and she needs to understand that.

Have you thought about just letting her take the consequences of sleeping in. If she misses the bus, is there another. What if you just let her organise herself and take the consequences (again, the hearing issue may mean that wouldn't be appropriate, I realise).

Hope some of those thoughts are helpful and you're doing OK.

mumofblu · 16/10/2022 02:19

It sounds really basic but I don't expect a chat in the morning . I take a slice of toast to her room to check she's awake. Then I go back in after 10 mins to check she's getting ready got what she needs . And remind her to be ready by time .

Does she get stressed in the morning by anything in particular!

anonbelle · 16/10/2022 02:37

I was the same when I was that age, a screeching angry teen. Honestly my mum whipped me into shape by confiscating my phone hahaha!! Made me realise i'm better off following orders to keep my phone! but that was just me...she may be different. Have you tried sitting her down and really opening up about how it makes you feel?

Mumgoingcraycray · 16/10/2022 20:03

Thank you everyone. Just to clarify I don't want a chat either in the mornings 😂. I just want her off to school! I want to confiscate her phone but she goes to her dad who doesn't believe in punishment.

OP posts:
Axahooxa · 16/10/2022 20:12

Developing your relationship with her and focusing on her good behaviour might work better than punishments. It works for my daughter who has v challenging behaviour at times due to her poor mental health. Eg plan a movie night at home together- just you two.

Maybe there’s something she’s dreading at school? She’s more likely to open up about it if she has more opportunities to be with just you, which I know is hard as a single parent.

themotheroffive · 28/12/2022 17:27

take phone at night. she will sleep better then. the earlier the better.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page