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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Just 15 and I think the bf is back

0 replies

mumofblu · 13/10/2022 07:20

She's my eldest , just 15 .
Had her first bf last year as she turned 14 . Not known to us met through sharing info online through friends . Ofc we were alarmed at first but put down clear boundaries and had "the talk " and got to know him . He came round the house often and obviously liked her a lot , she was hard to read . After seeing photos of them sneaked in her bed ( we checked her phone , she knew this , not allowed in her room , we have rooms downstairs where she can be alone with friends if they come round ) I read the riot act to her and told him he could see her but not in the house and he dumped her . She seemed to take it ok tbh . A few months later he spoke to me in street apologising for what happened and saying he didn't want me to think bad of him . I guessed they were still chatting and said it was all in the past now.

Anyway in dec she got a new bf and it became like hell unleashed . He was welcomed to the house but the more I saw him the more I didn't like him but I never told her . He called her stupid ( she's v bright doing well at school ) messed with other girls , they had unprotected sex ( she is now on bc , she refused before ) we saw extensive bruising on her . She ran away at night to him ( his friends house , his parents won't let her go to his ) behaviour at home and school deteriorated . We had to call the police and social services became involved . They split in may and it's been relatively calm . She won't talk about it except to say he was nice but then became like his dad ( parents separated, dv , dad is drug dealer ) . And he was cheating on her .

A few weeks ago she told me she was meeting first boy and asked me what I thought . I said it was nice to be asked but I had no objection and past was the past and he came round and I confess I always liked him and it was nice to see him . He is really nice to her , good friend and they get on but I don't think she fancies him . I've told her just to be honest .

Last night I heard her on phone to last bf . The one who abused her . And my anxiety is peaking . Nothing has happened yet but if it's like the year we've just had I don't know how I will cope.
I have a younger child and DH works away in the week but home and involved at weekend.

Anyone tips on surviving unhealthy teenage relationships. ( the social worker has talked to her saying the same as we did and are now withdrawing due to relative calm over last months )

Dd has some female friends out of school but not popular in school.

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