Help teenager wetting

TaniaJuk · 2022-10-09T12:14:52+00:00

Hi, I have a 14 year old adopted daughter who has had an ongoing issue with wetting herself, not just at bed time but also during the day. She has had endless medical tests, short stints of therapy and is on medication. But it still persists, now children at her school can smell it and she had an accident at a gathering with friends. She has spent the week in tears and I just don't know what to do. She says she doesn't know it's happening, and seems oblivious. The doctor says it could be constipation related but I don't think that is the cause. I just want to help her and its heartbreaking not knowing what to do. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you.

shmiz · 09/10/2022 15:10

has gp said they will refer to continence nurse ??
or paediatrics for assessment ???

poor girl, must be very distressing

has she appropriate underwear to help leaks / smells ???

has it been assessed for psychological cause ??

keep pushing for assessment / treatment

DumpedByText · 09/10/2022 15:24

Sounds awful for her, have you thought about some Modibodi period pants to absorb the wee if she does have an accident. They are very good.

fudgefiesta · 09/10/2022 15:26

Oh gosh, the poor things. I dung have any proper advice but I second the advice re period pants. You can also get pants for urinal leaks too.

Original poster

TaniaJuk · 09/10/2022 16:44

DumpedByText · 09/10/2022 15:24

Sounds awful for her, have you thought about some Modibodi period pants to absorb the wee if she does have an accident. They are very good.

Thank you for the reply.

She has been under the nurse until a lack of funding in our area meant it closed but then further pushing got us a consultant in paediatrics. They prescribed medication which works at night but the day time meds don't seem to help, although it's less frequent. He feels its constipation related but there are no signs of this, I feel its emotional due to neglect as a toddler.

My dd doesn't know its happening and many times that it's actually happened.

My heart breaks for her and I spent last night in bed crying myself as I feel it is going to wreck her school experience. Kids can be cruel.

We tried some incontinence pants but due to the amount of urine at times this hasn't helped.

We have not tried the Modibodi ones, I can get those in maxi to see if that helps.

It's a constant stress, sleepovers and other long activities are always a worry.

Now she is older and kids more aware its a potential nightmare scenario for her.

OP posts:

gogohmm · 09/10/2022 17:01

Highly recommend the maxi modibodi pants which are designed with incontinence in mind, I have them for stress incontinence. They look like underwear and period underwear is mainstream anyway

gogohmm · 09/10/2022 17:02

My dd has some issues with this too - with her she has alarms on her phone reminding her to use the toilet, she's adult and still needs them (autistic)

Twoshoesnewshoes · 09/10/2022 17:03

Myself and my DD both went through this as teens, I believe it was hormonal (similar process can happen in peri menopause). It lasted around 6 months to a year, neither of us had it as severely as your DD so this may not be helpful.
I reminded my DD to go to the loo every two hours, which helped, we both just grew out of it.
period pants are a great idea! And carry clean knickers and baby wipes too.

Original poster

TaniaJuk · 09/10/2022 20:59

Twoshoesnewshoes · 09/10/2022 17:03

Myself and my DD both went through this as teens, I believe it was hormonal (similar process can happen in peri menopause). It lasted around 6 months to a year, neither of us had it as severely as your DD so this may not be helpful.
I reminded my DD to go to the loo every two hours, which helped, we both just grew out of it.
period pants are a great idea! And carry clean knickers and baby wipes too.

Thank you, that's good to know. I've ordered the pants and hope it resolves over time.

It's just so hard to get support and I worry about the impact.

OP posts:

Elderflower2016 · 10/10/2022 20:32

A teenager in my family experienced this until hospital leant them some pants with an alarm that you wear at night - alarm goes off when detects moisture- so loud everyone wakes up and wizz to the loo… after a few nights never wet the bed again… seemed to re train the brain!

VerbenaGirl · 10/10/2022 21:03

My DD had this problem (always daytime, never nights) and I absolutely feel for you and your DD. Despite tests, medication and numerous strategies, I’m not sure I could really say anything worked. I think constipation did play a part, although that never really seemed an issue in its own right. Drinking enough and eating well did help a bit. I think some of it was her growing out of it though, but at 19 she still relapses at times of stress - although doesn’t get quite as soaking now. What we have now found out is that she has a form of hyper mobility (HEDS) - which is most likely the cause. Might be worth you exploring this? Also ERIC is a charity who can provide support and advice - both for you and your daughter. Now working on how physio might help with this. Period knickers can help with managing wetting and M&S recently had some good high absorbency three packs. Choosing dark clothing and long tops also, and we never went anywhere without a spare outfit.

diffandproud · 11/10/2022 13:53

Sounds awful for her, poor thing.
Firstly, make sure she is always protected with the bladder incontinence underwear. They are very discreet. This plan should remain in place untill she has been accident free for at least 6 months.
Next, get her on medication for overactive bladder. There is loads out there. My dd was on these and they were amazing, she never had an accident again.
Next, urologist needs to see her and perform tests to see where the problem is coming from and determine if any surgical procedure is needed or if it's just a case of bladder training and medication.
Good luck to her, the sooner you go about the above the better.
Apologies I havnt had time to fully read your post so I hope I haven't just repeated things that you have already tried

Original poster

TaniaJuk · 15/10/2022 00:12

VerbenaGirl · 10/10/2022 21:03

My DD had this problem (always daytime, never nights) and I absolutely feel for you and your DD. Despite tests, medication and numerous strategies, I’m not sure I could really say anything worked. I think constipation did play a part, although that never really seemed an issue in its own right. Drinking enough and eating well did help a bit. I think some of it was her growing out of it though, but at 19 she still relapses at times of stress - although doesn’t get quite as soaking now. What we have now found out is that she has a form of hyper mobility (HEDS) - which is most likely the cause. Might be worth you exploring this? Also ERIC is a charity who can provide support and advice - both for you and your daughter. Now working on how physio might help with this. Period knickers can help with managing wetting and M&S recently had some good high absorbency three packs. Choosing dark clothing and long tops also, and we never went anywhere without a spare outfit.

Thank you, it is difficult. That's so interesting you mention HEDS as she has had joint issues, quite a few, which has been put down to 'weak ankles' or growing pains.

I will have to look further into that

OP posts:

Original poster

TaniaJuk · 15/10/2022 00:14

diffandproud · 11/10/2022 13:53

Sounds awful for her, poor thing.
Firstly, make sure she is always protected with the bladder incontinence underwear. They are very discreet. This plan should remain in place untill she has been accident free for at least 6 months.
Next, get her on medication for overactive bladder. There is loads out there. My dd was on these and they were amazing, she never had an accident again.
Next, urologist needs to see her and perform tests to see where the problem is coming from and determine if any surgical procedure is needed or if it's just a case of bladder training and medication.
Good luck to her, the sooner you go about the above the better.
Apologies I havnt had time to fully read your post so I hope I haven't just repeated things that you have already tried

Thanks, she is on medication. One set for night time and another in the morning but they don't completely help.

What meds was your dd on if you don't mind me asking.

Thanks

OP posts:

VerbenaGirl · 15/10/2022 07:16

TaniaJuk · 15/10/2022 00:12

Thank you, it is difficult. That's so interesting you mention HEDS as she has had joint issues, quite a few, which has been put down to 'weak ankles' or growing pains.

I will have to look further into that

Show quote history

Yes! We started off with “weak ankles” and “growing pains”! Definitely do check HEDS out.

diffandproud · 22/10/2022 07:39

Desmopressin was the name of the medication. Took effect immediately. The first time she took it,she was dry all that night in the first time in 6 months.

Torres10 · 03/11/2022 23:34

We have been through this, it's tough.
My Dd 14 was mostly having daytime accidents though, so not sure if different
The solution (as we seem to have fixed the issue), was a combination of getting her to go regularly and a surgical botox injection, which to be fair I only got after persistence and getting to see a recommended urologist.
The botox lasts approximately 5 years but he said it is often the case that the issue doesn't reoccur so fingers crossed !
My dd is also hyper mobile interestingly.

NaomiS1 · 16/11/2022 06:17

Hi OP, sorry to hear about what your daughter is going through. Have you tried speaking to the bladder and bowel charity ERIC.org? They are a brilliant source of information, advice and support. If you're based in the UK they have a helpline too. Good luck!