ADHD - to test or not to test?

[toogoodforthisworld]

Me and the 15 want to have him tested for ADHD. He constantly gets sent out of class for fidgeting and reading out loud by accident.
He is very high energy- can be extremely focused when something interests him but forgets what you've said 2 mins after you've said it. He is also extremely reasonable and intelligent and kind.
He is a LOVELY kid but teachers sending him out of class etc is demoralizing.
Dad doesn't want him tested because he says potential employees will be able to see his diagnosis if we get him tested and the school notes it on his records.
I'm almost certain that due to GDPR this would not happen.

Any advice / experience as to (how to) being tested and what happens afterwards?

There isn’t a test but you can have an assessment which is one clinician’s opinion. Usually need a GP referral at that age or you can self refer if private but costs about £400 for privare psychiatrist assessment.

@PeekabooAtTheZoo
Really? I'm kind of amazed about that. Thanks for your response. Would being diagnosed work against him in the future do you think ?

There might be some professions where your medical records are needed? Army maybe? But they can't just request them, you have to give your permission.

Most jobs/companies would never ask this. I work for a company which asks you if you have a neurodiverse condition and would be helped by a different interview format. So actually a diagnosis for a job application would help.

It sounds to me like your son needs support which can only be helped with a diagnosis. I wouldn't hesitate to seek an assessment in your position as your son needs help now.

Employers don't see school records. Get him assessed. I'm 52 with asd and was also diagnosed with adhd yesterday. I wish it had been possible when I was a kid as my life would have been easier. It'll help your son access support and it's also a protected characteristic under the equality act 2010.

We are in this position with our 17 year old DD. College have suggested it
GP wasn’t interested and the only local NHS provider told me the waiting list was over a year just for the initial assessment.
I contacted several Private Providers who I found via the Autism Society website but most didn’t reply and the 2 that did said they had no appointments for months and couldn’t even put us on a waitlist
I have found someone locally and we have paid £600 for the initial assessment which is happening next month, if we then want a full assessment with the Psychiatrist it’s £3000 on top.
We can and will be paying for this as it may help DD with her Uni applications, especially since her quirks are something that could have a impact on her ability to access certain things at Uni and also the type of accommodation she will need so a diagnosis may help with that.
There are other reasons why we have decided to do it as well since an official diagnosis can be useful for accessing certain services and she feels that having a diagnosis is important to her for her MH

Has your husband heard of disability discrimination laws - does he really think in 21st century large employers wouldn’t employ somebody because they had ADHD? It is illegal and outdated. We are striving for inclusive workplaces. Nobody ever will see his school records. Focus on getting support for your son - imagine not being able to help doing something and being punished for it.

I would make a an appointment with the school SENCO and ask any aursti9ns you need to,
He. Any need an exam access arrangement e.g. for extra time to co or sage for weak working memory, or a promoter, rest breaks or use of fidget toy.
Chat with them about the implications of having a diagnosis.I’m in a school, btw. Many children where I work have an ADHD diagnosis. It’s very normal these days.

Excuse all my typos!

I watched an excellent documentary on ITV hub yesterday- one of the cheshire desperate housewives diagnosed with ADHD as an adult- "Tanya"- subsequent to her diagnosis, she realised her son has it too and he duly received a diagnosis. she's very much on a crusade to raise awareness and ensure that children receive diagnoses early. So, for her, a diagnosis is very important. They have ended up medicating their son- he's maybe 15/16 i think- and I appreciate that must be so hard for a parent to do and not always necessary by any means. Tanya herself isn't on medication. One thing I took away from the programme was the evident rapport she had with the head of an ADHD charity (who also has ADHD)- she also met another woman with it, and again you can see how invaluable it was for her to talk with other people with ADHD. That's my two-penneth- I don't have any RL experience with ADHD, but was very struck by this documentary- it's helped a lay person to understand the condition. Good luck.

Your son wants help.

Don’t let his father stand in the way of that.

There are disability discrimination laws, a diagnosis now will help his education and provide him a chance to develop effective coping strategies - those things are much more valuable to your son’s future than a vague fear about employer discrimination.

Get him tested if that's what he wants. I've just been diagnosed at 44 and I've struggled my whole adult life. A diagnosis isn't a stigma. It helps him get the support he needs, whether that's medication or just accommodations to allow him to excel in whatever he decides to do.

I dropped out of uni first time round. I now know this was because of my ADHD. I'm back studying again and student support have been brilliant. I've got notes on my file and my first tutor has emailed me to let me know the ways she can help out to make sure I achieve my full potential.

ADHD isn't just about the fidgeting and hyperactivity. It can affect so many other aspects of life and relationships as you get older.

What's your DH's alternative plan for your DS? To spend the rest of his life battling against his neurodiversity with no adjustments?

Your DH is an arse; get DS assessed. If he needs meds, which it sounds like he may do, his life will become so much easier for him. Honestly, your DH is ridiculous

I don't have ADHD but I do have ASD, my GP doesn't even know. He can choose to tell whomever he likes!

@NoSquirrels
I think we are both on exactly the same page and you have worded it very well.
Thank you for this.

Having an ADHD diagnosis may help secure interviews. (some employers interview all applicants with a documented disability) It is very important if your DS goes to university in terms of additional support eg a mentor, extra time in exams etc

DS (14) has ADHD and takes meds. We went private for assessment when DS was in Year 7 as waiting list for CAMHS in our area over 2 years. The assessment was around £400 and had to pay for the subsequent medication until we could move the prescribing over to the GP via a shared agreement. The diagnosis has been invaluable for everyone. DS is entitled to extra time and rest breaks for exams. He has additional support in lessons, is able to use a laptop to work with in lessons rather than having to write everything down. But more importantly it has helped him and us to understand why he struggles with certain things. That he’s not just being lazy or acting up.

Your DH sounds like he’s in denial and using the work/employee thing as an excuse. If your DS wants to go for an assessment surely that’s the most important thing? He’s the one living with it day in day out, not your DH. People that are undiagnosed neurodivergent very often suffer from extremely low self esteem (through years of feeling like they’re not good enough and they can’t do things other people can) which can have a significantly detrimental effect on their mental health. For this reason alone you owe it to your child to get him checked out.

Your DH needs to educate himself and come to terms with it.

My Ds was diagnosed with Adhd at the end of year 5.

If you can afford it get a private assessment. Otherwise you have litterally no hope of him been assessed prior to gcse's..

My ds went from developing to exceeding in year 6 once medicated in maths.

The alternative is he may not acieve his full potential.