Are they really selfish?

[Mumoftoomanykids]

I have a few children. The eldest is 17. Shes turning in to the most selfish, entitled young person. Demands money and when I say no constantly questions me. Shes been looking for a job (I’ve been looking for a job for him) with no joy-we are in a rural location. Now I have had enough. No more £2 here and there for corner shop snacks when there’s food here. No more trips for mcd when she’s just eaten. I want to be ‘cruel’ to be kind so she learns the importance of earning money and I know it’s in her interest and will benefit her long term. But how do I deal with the fall out until it ‘clicks’ with her. She refuses to do any chores to earn and I just end up with a mouthful of abuse, which I always calmly reply with my reasons

They can be very self absorbed yes!!

Preserver with the the job hunt. Dd has been working part time since summer and I do see a little more appreciation and maturity. Only a little but it's something!!

Pretty much quite a lot are

Mine weren't especially selfish. Perhaps a little self-centered. They both had jobs in the summers but not while school was in session.

No, I don't think teenagers have to be selfish. I think they can be self-absorbed and thoughtless sometimes, but if I point out to mine that they have been thoughtless they are generally mortified and try to make good. I think it would be a mistake to accept this behaviour from your daughter as 'just how teenagers are'.
Finding a job in a rural location is hard. I can see why she might feel it's pointless to try (even if it isn't!)
Would it remove conflict if you gave them a manageable amount per week and nothing extra?
My teens get a very small allowance from me - only really enough for sweets or sometimes baked stuff from the school cafe. If they want more spends they have to earn it, so they both have jobs. If they'd rather not get a job that's absolutely fine and they make do with very little.