Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

14 year old vaping

21 replies

Miathecat · 04/10/2022 13:01

I have had suspicions for a while but yesterday found his stash in his room by accident, also had fizzles which worries me more I think. I asked him last night if he vapes and he promised me he didn’t ( I hadn’t told him about finding the stuff) what next confrontation or monitor to see if it’s being used?

OP posts:
Original poster
Miathecat · 04/10/2022 13:02

Rizzlas not fizzles, autocorrect!

OP posts:
HavfrueDenizKisi · 04/10/2022 13:12

Oh I did wonder if fizzles were a new thing to worry about!

I have a 14 yr old too. She tells me about all the girls who do vape in her school but promises me that she doesn't and obviously I've had a long chat about why it's not appropriate for her. But who knows - she may have tried it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

So I guess if I was standing where you are now I would ask her again and say this is her opportunity to be honest. Then go from there. If she denied it then I'd show her what I had found.

Then back to researching the effects of vaping on teenagers together. The disappointed speech. Then a suitable 'punishment' whatever that may be.

HavfrueDenizKisi · 04/10/2022 13:13

God it's sooooo difficult isn't it!

Original poster
Miathecat · 04/10/2022 13:20

It certainly is, good advice thanks, I had a big talk about all the dangers a few months ago and he’s still gone ahead, I’ll give him another chance to be honest after school and take it from there. Why does nobody warn you about the emotional side of having a teenager, bring back the terrible twos it was so easy..

OP posts:
dumbstruckdumptruck · 04/10/2022 13:23

I have a real dislike of asking kids questions you already know the answer to.

It's setting them up to fail, and it makes it really hard for them to trust you if they know you're the kind of person who holds things back so you can catch them out with an Aha!

If you want honesty, start by offering it yourself.

Tell him what you found. Ask him what you should do.

Get clear for yourself on what is and isn't OK regarding vaping, and offer, negotiate and agree whatever those rules are with him. Then go from there.

HavfrueDenizKisi · 04/10/2022 13:25

Thing is they think they're indestructible plus at 14 they also know everything!!

I prefer to try and keep lines of communication open with my girls so coming down super hard probably wouldn't work for us.

I would probably stop pocket money for this. Then no cash for buying vapes...?!

HavfrueDenizKisi · 04/10/2022 13:27

@dumbstruckdumptruck has a very good point too. Maybe that's the better approach?

Original poster
Miathecat · 04/10/2022 13:30

To be honest I’ve probably been to generous with money so he’s had every opportunity to buy it, it annoys me so much that they obviously sell to kids and don’t care about the consequences. He doesn’t eat much so I’m always making sure he has enough money for food when he’s out but I’m going to have to clamp down. I hate not being able to trust him I thought I had an honest open relationship with my boys

OP posts:
Original poster
Miathecat · 04/10/2022 13:37

Okay I’ve just removed everything from his room so that I can speak to him after school and tell him what I’ve found, his dad will hit the roof but my approach hasn’t worked so maybe better to go with his consequences this time

OP posts:
MistressIggi · 04/10/2022 13:45

Would agree about the rizlas, you don't need those to vape obviously. That's a bigger worry.

Swedishmeatball · 04/10/2022 13:48

I’d be way more worried about the rizlas. Only needed to roll joints. Unlikely to be smoking roll your own tobacco if vaping. Risk of psychosis from weed at such a young age way, way more concerning than vaping (which by the way I have no doubt will be found to be harmful to young lungs in the future).

Original poster
Miathecat · 04/10/2022 14:01

I totally agree about the Rizzlas and the vaping in young lungs I think it’s going to be another disaster in coming years and I’ve told him that, I just can’t get him to listen!

OP posts:
CookieDoughKid · 04/10/2022 18:49

I came down SUPER HARD when I found out my 14yo daughter was vaping. She was vaping for at least 2 months when her friends smuggled it in her sleepovers.. I confiscated her phone, I made her go cold turkey, I actually searched her room everyday and I still do. I put in tough sanctions. Gave her a real good talking to and my husband supported by saying you can do what you want after 16 but not in our house. I took a risk and she's now off it. Completely. And it's been 6 months and no vaping.

MistressIggi · 04/10/2022 23:02

Have you spoken to him yet, OP?

Original poster
Miathecat · 05/10/2022 07:56

We had a long and hopefully honest chat, the vapes he says are old as he hasn’t vaped for about 4 months, half of his group of friends have also stopped which he says has removed the peer pressure. He says he tried dope once about 7 months ago but only had a couple of puffs and didn’t like it. We had a long chat about why I hate vapes so much (accident waiting to happen) and the psychosis with dope and not knowing how it will affect you. I told him if I ever find anything again I will tell his dad, no idea why my kids see this as a threat but they do! I told my husband anyway obviously and we’ve agreed to be vigilant (and I’ll search his room when he’s at school). Thanks for all the good advice.

OP posts:
Mumoffootieboys · 05/10/2022 13:36

My 14 year old was vaping a few months back. We had a good talk with him and he said he stopped. Which we believe as he hadn’t had much opportunity to do so or money to buy them. Although you can never be 100% sure what they’re doing when they’re out of the house.
Last week though, he tried a weed vape that his mate had! It was his first time which I know as he had googled ‘how to stop first high’ and hopefully his last. For a while at least as he was so poorly with it. He told me what he had done as he was scared and wanted me to help him feel better.
it’s so so hard these years

Original poster
Miathecat · 05/10/2022 22:09

God I’ve never even heard of that, something else to quiz him about. Agree it’s really hard

OP posts:
dumbstruckdumptruck · 06/10/2022 08:20

he had googled ‘how to stop first high’ @Mumoffootieboys oh bless him!

JoeTheJournalist · 24/10/2022 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pebstk · 25/10/2022 07:31

I hate to be negative but children tend to tell us what we want to hear and I have much experience of dealing with teenagers vaping and smoking dope. If he has Rizzla papers he is very unlikely to have only tried a puff of dope once because he had them to roll it. If someone else bought and gave him a puff no papers. I think you need to keep a close eye and tell his dad now so it is a United front why sound you keep it a secret. I would keep a very close eye.

adjustinglife · 02/05/2023 08:54

feeling all this.... our 14 yr old has been caught 3 times now. after promising to never do it again. we had the whole big talk twice about the dangers an why she shouldn't ect. i dont want to come down too hard as i know this could impact later life and trying other things but feel this time she actually needs to see it has consequences. her dad wants us to take her pony away as this is a big thing for her but im trying to think of something thats a harsh punishment with doing that! any ideas??

New posts on this thread. Refresh page