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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

When your dd has been let down by a friend and you know but they don't want go talk about it

6 replies

twoblueskies · 01/10/2022 20:00

This really
My dd aged 15 had plans to go to a fair with a boy , he didn't turn up so she's gone to a friends .

Dh took her to friends and said you could see she was upset but not wanting to talk so he didn't push it .

When I was a teenager I would talk to my mum but my Dd is very proud and does not tell me anything

So I know and she knows I know but wf just dance around the elephant in the room

Is this the same for most of you at this age

OP posts:
MrsPnut · 01/10/2022 20:03

When this happens we go to the Starbucks drive through, it’s so much easier to talk in the car.
When you don’t have to look at each other, they can’t get away and if it’s awkward in the way home they can slurp their iced caramel Frappuccino to avoid it.

Original poster
twoblueskies · 01/10/2022 20:07

Yes I agree talking in car usually works but not until she ready but with dh out and youngest in bed not an option

OP posts:
PrunellaMcTat · 01/10/2022 20:10

I think this is a very person-specific thing. We're all different. Some of us need to dump it all out, some of us need processing time. Be supportive but respect her space.

JanePrentiss · 01/10/2022 20:37

MrsPnut · 01/10/2022 20:03

When this happens we go to the Starbucks drive through, it’s so much easier to talk in the car.
When you don’t have to look at each other, they can’t get away and if it’s awkward in the way home they can slurp their iced caramel Frappuccino to avoid it.

This. Right down to the caramel frappucino. 👍

Hugocat1 · 01/10/2022 20:38

This is something she will hash out with her mates

thewalrus · 02/10/2022 11:32

2 DDs aged 14 and 16 here.

16 yr old talks, but on her own terms. She will offload a load of stuff - sometimes in the car/walking, but just as often cooking or just chatting face to face - and then clam up for a bit afterwards. I picked her up from a party last night and she said it was 'awful', but didn't elaborate. I'm expecting her to at some point over the next couple of days though. I don't push her - it'll come when she's ready.

14 yr old throws us a very occasional nugget of personal news, but mostly keeps everything to herself. I would be hard pressed to name her closest friends. I was at a party recently and someone recognised me (my daughters and I look very alike) and introduced herself as one of DD's best friend's mums. I'd not heard the friend's name before, though it turns out they are close. She seems happy and involved in things, and form tutor says she's fine. DH kept his family very separate from his friends and is much more relaxed about it than me. Think you're doing the right thing not to push it, but I feel your pain!

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