16 year old DS and 18 year old potential girlfriend ?

[PlayOwls]

What do you think of this age gap? I'm a bit worried about it

I'm fortunate in that my 16 year old son tells me stuff so I am honestly thankful for that but sometimes all I seen to do is mentally sigh!

So he plays a game online and he's been playing with a girl of 18. He's just 16 and she's just 18.

I've heard them chatting, I've seen her, I've said hello over FaceTime

He 'really likes her' and wants to meet her and her likewise

He's asked me and said he'd like to meet her halfway between where we live and she lives (50 mins ish and he's confident in n trains) , just for the day, assured me he'd be back by 10pm and would not be going back to her house.

He's also said he's very happy for me to have a proper chat with her if it would make me more comfortable

But I don't like it much. Why would an 18 year old be interested in a 16 year old? They've been playing for months together so when he was 15 and her 17.

Incidentally I am very sure there's no sex stuff right now. He's too ... sensible maybe? He tells me he has liked her for months but would never have done anything whilst he was still 15. And he says he'd like to spend actual time with her before deciding if they want to have some sort of relationship

So yes. On the one hand he's quite sensible but on the other hand he isn't

What would you do? How would you handle it? Would it even bother you?

All I've said so far is thanked him for being honest with me and raised concerns over 16 vs 18.

Thoughts please?

He sounds a bit like my youngest. Honesty usually works with him - he's emotionally sensible enough to cope with the reality of his mum being a worryguts. Sounds like yours is too. And she might be really nice!

@candycaneframe thank you. Your posts have made me feel a bit better. I'm not usually such an absolute sap

@Bobbybobbins I definitely don't like the idea of them having sex BUT that's more to do with her being 18 and I don't know her at all. I suppose I have concerns about him being exploited.

He thinks he's the most streetwise coolest kid ever. He absolutely is .. in his own head!

And sometimes, into my head, comes the words' why must my kids do this? Why must they tell me everything?'

I never bothered my mother with all the naughty stuff I got up to 😀😀

But then, when I've spent years saying to both of them ' you never have to be worried to tell me anything, there is nothing we can't sort out, no matter how bad you think it is ' and they take me up on it ... what can i expect?!

I definitely agree sometimes ignorance is bliss, even though you know deep down it's better to be informed!

One last post from me on this, but something I did with mine once they hit 14 when we'd have differences in what they were responsible enough for, was i'd go away and write down a list of what would make me/DH say yes to the proposed situation, in order of a definite yes, yes, ok, maybe and no. We'd then sit and talk about the list and see where we could compromise.

For example in your situation I'd have put

Definitely yes - I get to meet this girl and I'd stay in the area they were hanging round in for the first meeting

Yes - I'd call the girl and she comes to my DS's town/area but I don't hang around

Ok - I call the girl and they meet half way

Maybe - I speak to the girl over the phone and my child travels to her

No - no contact with the girl