Very high absence from school

[Summer776]

Has anyone else going through their teen not being in school resuting in Absence meetings at school?
Dd14 experiences anxiety and depression.She has been receiving counselling in school once a week fir months and during school holidays and has made some progress socially.

I am sorry for what you are going through and not knowing what to do next. School offered counselling although better than nothing is mostly useless. But of course it helps to keep school off your back regarding absences.
If your DD has anxiety and she is not willing to go to school then her problems either stem from the school itself or from someone on the way to school.
Is she getting bullied or being left out of her friendship group. Does she have good friends or her friends are the reason she is anxious?
If she is getting bullied then you need to talk to school. Most schools would rather put your child in counselling than actually dealing with bullying.
If your child is not happy then change her school. Let her know you are the person she can rely on and will support her.
If she does not want to talk about the reason she is anxious then get her private therapy. If you cannot afford it then talk to early help or charities like insight therapies. You can do a self referral and it is free but may take long to start a session.
You know your DD well. If she has been sincere regarding school all her life and this is new then find the root of the problem.

I understand this from the schools point if view - I am a school safeguarding lead and advise on cases where anxiety related absences start becoming an issue (and do parents are asked in for meetings).

Do you have questions op?

What was your DDs attendance last year?

What's her attendance this year so far?

Are you under CAMHS? If yes, what support is your DD getting from them?

DD is on a waiting list for CAHMS and it she has been recognised as having low self esteem and social anxiety. There has also been recognition of Covid having a massive effect on her confidence.

Previously attendance was never an issue at all. DD has 2 good friends both made since joining secondary school. They meet up at weekends when DD feels able to and are well aware of her struggles.

Bullying is not an issue amd we live a few minutes away from school.
DD has been praised by the school as visibly trying hard when in school ie they have seen her controlling her breathing etc

Make sure you word her absences correctly. Don't ever say 'refusing to come in', say 'unable to attend today due to her mental health of anxiety and depression'.

Keep in contact with the school and keep saying 'yes we wish she could come in more but some days she just can't cope' or similar.

Would a manageable part time timetable work? e.g. only coming in after break? Keeping her in the routine/expectation of going is important if she can manage it.

We paid for a private consultant psychiatrist for DD during lockdown. He prescribed meds that helped get her back on track (she was out of school entirely). We never did get to the top of the CAMHS list.

There is a Childrens Mental Health board on MN which may help you.