Reasonable financial allowance for kids age 12 and 14

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Hi, just as the title says really! I've still got a system where my kids get a small amount of pocket money (£2 a week) so of course ask me for money for things all the time. I'd like to get them learning more responsibility for money, and have their own debit cards, bank account etc. So I'm thinking of giving them a larger allowance, but with conditions attached - eg around home chores - and with a very clear understanding of what purchases it covers and what it doesn't.

If I get this set up right from the start I think it will be good, but if I get it wrong it's hard to unwind. I'd really appreciate any views as I really don't know what's sensible. Nb my older DS14 is impulsive and not very sensible with money; younger DS12 is much better; and I'd want to give them both the same amount.

Following with interest as I'm in the same position.

Sorry OP I have no useful suggestions, I have been wondering whether to link it to chores, but think that's probably futile. Part of me really wants to link it to motivate them, but I think chores are part of being a family (and just part of life!), they don't go away if you decide not to do them and sacrifice your cash that week

We have totally dissociated chores and money. You clear the table because you are part of the household, not because you get paid for it.

The total amount is very dependant on what it needs to cover. Over a typical month, what d they need to buy? Any larger one offs that they buy? I would start by working out how much they use, and go from there.

My kids are a similar age. But they never spend anything - it's a struggle to get them to spend birthday vouchers - so we are at a similar level to you £10/month.
If either of them get to the point of going out with mates anywhere other than the park, we will reevaluate!

Agree about chores and money being separate. Our kids have always done their share of chores because we share a house and we all have to do stuff. They don't moan about it, they just know we are a 'team'.
Mine get £5 a week. I'd like to give them a clothing allowance and I'm unsure how much to make that.

My 12yo gets 25 a week🙈but that includes lunches. He buys a panini at school. Then walks down to the Co-op with friends and buys a drink using young Scot card for 10% off. He’s only just started high school this August and hadn’t really used card before so although it’s a bit spendy making these small transactions have increased his confidence when using his bank card a lot.

My Y7 now gets £5 a week for sweets / bubble tea / buying birthday and Christmas presents. My Y10 just this month moved from £5 to £10 a week as she now buys clothes she doesn’t really need occasionally and she started meeting friends for bowling or cinema so she pays for that, too.

But I don’t pay for chores - that’s just a ‘must do’ unless they are doing homework or music practice at that precise moment.

Interested in answers too as we’re about to review dcs (13&15) pocket money. They currently get £25 a month (not linked to chores) , but we’re not clear what they need to do with it. So when they’re going out with friends, I often slip them £5 to spend.

We’re thinking of upping their money but then not pay extras during the month…

We transfer £25/month into his account. This covers drinks/snacks/cinema with friends when he's out and about or he sometimes saves up to buy himself something. If he wanted a bigger day out with friends eg go karting, it would also come out of this budget.

I think my parents approach was quite good - they asked me to put together what I thought was a reasonable monthly allowance to cover absolutely everything that wasn't related to school. So, train into town, food if I was out with friends, clothes, shoes, cinema trips, CDs, etc. Then we negotiated from there! I was probably 14 when this happened and it was useful in getting me to actually think about money and how I would be using it. No top ups, although every so often my mum got so frustrated that I was walking around with holes in my shoes rather than buying new ones that she bought me some!

I do pounds per week equivalent to their school year. So, my year 7 has £7 a week, year 5 has £5 per week. Got that from mumsnet.

My 13yo gets £20 per month, that seems to be enough.

We don't pay for chores, they just have to do them.

We were the same - £2 per week.
My year 9 child now gets £30 per month and with that is expected to buy basic toiletries (not toothpaste as we buy as a family but deodorant, shower gel etc) clothes, entertainment and small birthday presents for family. He stretches it with a paper round that gives him £5 per week that he spends on online games rubbish. We have said he can’t use allowance for that.

He rarely buys clothes but managed to save up enough for a new pair of trainers in the summer. It seems to work and is a good way of teaching budgeting.

DS doesn't get pocket money as such..
We pay £60 subs for two football teams
£3 per day for shop visit
£20 per week on school lunch card
Season ticket for local football club plus £10 per match day for drinks/snacks
£10 a weekend for him going out and about with friends as they usually visit Greggs/McDonald's (obviously this is more if cinema etc is included)

I am thinking however about setting him up a bank account so he can save birthday/Christmas money etc and learn that money doesn't just appear

Mine (adult now) got £20 a month from 11 then increased to £40 from 14 then £60 at 16 then £120 a month at 18 reflecting their expenditure needs (went to university at 18) just increased remaining dd at university to £150 a month.

Yes they got more responsibility at home too eg doing own laundry, cooking family meals etc

Standard chores were expected anyway I should add

With My 2 I used to split the child benefit between them monthly, so worked out around £50ish per month - that was for any extra clothing they wanted (not needed) plus usual going to town/shopping/cinema etc.

wasn't linked to chores as such but it was with the expectation that they kept their rooms clean and tidy(ish) without me having to nag.

I have 16 year old foster son with learning disability and SS tell us what he should get to spend each year and it goes up on his birthday. It is £40.20 a month atm. That is just for sweets, ice cream or McDonalds with friends. We load £15 a week on to a lunch card for him. It goes around his neck on I'd lanyard. I am happy doing that as I know he sometimes loses his cash. He just puts it down and wonders off. He likes a hot lunch and dessert. FS sometimes has between £10 and £20 left in a month. I find bits of money he leaves around the house. He has a jar he is supposed to put loose change in.

We don't pay DS16 any pocket money now as he has well paid weekend job. Before that we paid him £5p/w and he had a paper round that paid him £20 p/w. On top of that we would ( and occasionally still ) subsidise him to do an activity or a day out with friends. We also (still) pay for his phone , hair cuts and clothes that he needs ( the designer stuff he has to pay for himself )

DD14 gets £5 p/w and we are encouraging her to get a paper round but she's not interested. We also subsidise her social life and pay for her phone and clothing.

Both were supposed to do chores in exchange for pocket money but it led to arguments when they were too lazy to do them. We gave up.

I went with "half their age per week" so dd age 11 gets £5.50 and dd age 14 gets £7.

It's not great as dd11 spends it all instantly (£5,50 just buys her 1 of those fancy cafe milkshakes) while dd14 spends nothing and has waaaay more money than she possibly should (if she wants to go "off the rails" when a bit older, iyswim)

My DDs had a small weekly amount not linked to chores, but could earn extra if they did extra chores eg clean the car. I’d often come home from work with all the washing done when they wanted an extra £5 🤣

At that age mine got €70 a month which paid for all clothes, including for school & hobbies, contacts but not glasses, presents and fun.

I paid phone and travel on top.

When the younger wore the older ones cast offs she got €35. But that stopped at about 13. They had to keep records of everything the spent. They had a debit card and I had oversight on everything.

My kids get £70 per month in their bank account. With that they buy clothes (apart from school uniform and sports kits), pay for their social lives and any snacks/treats etc beyond what I have in the house. I pay for school lunches, extracurricular activities, school uniform. Not tied to chores (that's something of an ongoing, but separate, battle!).

I think it's working OK. I wanted them to have enough money to be able to make decisions with it (and appreciate that we're fortunate to be able to enable that). Two are real savers, and one is a spender, but over time they will see the benefits and drawbacks of their approaches in a safe way (I hope!).

Eldest (16) has a PT job and earns an additional £150 or so a month. Younger ones will probably get jobs once they're 15 - the spender, especially, will need to I think!

V useful answers. @Merrow I like the idea of getting them to put a proposal to me - I'd certainly not automatically accept it but it puts some responsibility onto them which is good.

My 11yo and 13yo have to earn their pocket money. 11yo deals with the dishwasher, irons school shirts and brushes the dog....she gets £8.50 pw. 13yo has to Hoover one floor once a week and clear the table after dinner....he gets £2.50pw. The reason the older does less/gets less is his choice because he has a paper round so earns £25pw from that.
However I don't restrict what they can spend their money on. They earn it they can spend it how they like.

You really do need to be clear on what it includes.

• monthly phone cost?
• school lunches?
• fun clothes
• socialising with friends (travel, cinema, meals?)
• hobbies
• presents for family at Christmas / birthdays

I'd also think a little bit about their own future earning power. If they are likely to be low earners, how much do you want them to be in the habit of 'frivolous' spending with friends, or do you want them more used to tight budgeting?