Social skills of teens or something else?

[Applesorangesandpears]

My Dd is 15 and doesn’t seem to engage in what I would consider normal conversations with her peers!
She talks to them lots, sometimes for hours but conversations don’t seem to follow the expected norms?
Some examples

• she found out today that a kid from her football team moved to her school. Spoke to her for 20 mins about various things but never asked why she’d moved schools or if she liked her new school. They’d be the first things I’d ask!
• her friends parents have split up and the friend told her by text. Dd Trent her back that she was sorry and if she wanted to talk she was there but she has never had a face to face conversation with the friend about how she’s feeling or if she’s doing ok. it’s never been mentioned since by either of them since.
• She’ll plan to meet up with a friend but won’t sort out times etc until I prompt her.

Is this teenagers? Or should I be thinking there may be something more? She doesn’t seem to have any meaningful conversations with any friends. Plenty about fit lads, clothes, movies, days out but nothing deeper? Are the social norms of conversations learned later or is this something we should be working on with her? Thanks

Seems normal. Not totally out of the ordinary for adults either. I’m 36 and not too different from that

so because she's not handled any situation like you a fully grown adult would suddenly it's something she 'has to work on' that all sounds perfectly normal, she's already said that she's open to talking with the friend who's parents split up, why would she have to put her on the spot in real life. she obviously knows it's not her business to ask why her friend moved schools and maybe she just wasn't feeling social enough to want to meet up with that friend at that point, why are you organising meet up with friends when she's 15, maybe you should back off a bit

Woah - quite an aggressive reply there @lailamaria
As a parent of a single teen I asked if her behaviour was the norm for teens. I have no other benchmark so asked for opinions on here.
I at no point said I was organising meet ups for her but when I ask her on the day what time I am dropping her off at her friends (so I can organise my plans round her) she hasn’t sorted it.

Sounds v normal. If I ask my teens where their friends have gone on holiday, if they've been away, they say they don't know. Apparently that is not the sort of conversation they'd ever have.

It sounds normal to me OP. My DD was the same, she’s 20 now and starting to grow out of it although her conversations go very differently to how mine would. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

I noticed this whenever DS1's exGF was on holiday he never knew where!

I'm surprised you need to ask. All totally normal, they are still developing these skills

This sounds familiar! If I ask dd14 if a friend had a good holiday, or if they enjoyed xx, or they've moved house to our town and I say oh, where about? dd will look at me like I'm mad and shrug 'dunno'. She never asks anything I'd consider as standard conversation!

They quite often have meaning less conversations part of being a child and not worried about world issues! It’s the later teens when they become interested in each other on a deeper level.

Leave her too it and let them enjoy the simple interactions.

Totally normal!
After the summer holidays I'll ask my daughter what her friends had been up to. She'll say 'oh I think X went away and Y went on a cruise'. So I'll ask how did they enjoy it? And she'll say 'I have no idea I never asked'!
Kids live in the moment. They are lousy about practicalities. A friend asked my daughter if she was free last weekend. She said yes, what did she have in mind? Idk was the reply and hence nothing happened!
I think the school day is all planned out and they were used to quite organised after school activities. Now they are teens and we expect them to know how to do it themselves. They wait for someone else to organise it (this is true of adults)!

Wait till they’re older - all I get is blah Jess, no not that Jess that’s Jesse, or Jess P or Alicia’s sister - can’t keep up!

Yes all those sound standard!

yes I find this with my dd age14 too. I thought it was just my dd. One of her friends moved house dd had no idea where to, like previous poster said never asks where her best friend has gone on holiday. I've always thought it strange that she nevers asks the obvious first questions I would ask, it's almost as though they are not interested in each other lives. I wonder if I was like this as a teen I honestly can't remember but I don't think I would have been because I seem to remember where my friends were on holiday etc. is this a current generational thing??

They're getting to know each other, and themselves. Jeez it sounds normal.
Plus how do you think she would feel about you listening in?