DS Break up - what to say?

8 replies

Lareymary · 18/09/2022 21:39

My DS is nearly 17 and his first GF has just asked for a break. He's devastated. I know that in a few weeks he will be ok, and given him all the platitudes...
He's so sensitive and shy it took him a lot to even ask her out. It's come at a really crappy time as hes just started 6th form and she recently moved to a town about 3 hours drive away. I know he'll be ok - but is there anything I can say or do to help him?

OP posts:

Zone2NorthLondon · 18/09/2022 22:11

Aww, that’s hard. Acknowledge you know, let him know you’re available to listen
Don’t say any of those terrible plenty more fish…you’re young platitudes
offer cook some food he likes and keep an eye on him discretely

LadyWithLapdog · 18/09/2022 22:22

Aw, you have my sympathy. Is this a new thing, asking for a break? DD split up with first BF and he said a break first but after two months it’s definitely over. She’d had time to go through the devastation phase and get to annoyance. Your poor DS.

Original poster

Lareymary · 18/09/2022 22:50

Thank you for your replies …I’m just at a loss. You want to make them feel better but you know you can’t. I realise those platitudes were on the top of my tongue - and discreetly keeping an eye on him is top advice! My tendency is to keep checking on him (he had a bad time during lockdown so I’m hyper aware) so giving him space is the right way to go.

I think the ‘break’ is a way of saying ‘split’ but a bit of a get out. I know it’s all part of growing up. I remember when I first got dumped - I thought I’d never get over it!

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QueenOfWeeds · 18/09/2022 22:59

I remember my first term relationship ending, and my mum’s reassuring words included “although now I think about it, I was never on the receiving end. I always did the breaking up.”

I’d buy him some treats and leave them out if he looks like he’s at a loss, so he feels seen but no pressure to discuss it.

Hopeandlove · 19/09/2022 06:19

Hug him and tell him how much you love him

Whataretheodds · 19/09/2022 06:52

Make sure he feels loved. I felt like I'd done something wrong/ tgere was something deficient about me and could have done with hearing that a break - up didn't mean that, it just meant the relationship wasn't quite right.

Original poster

Lareymary · 19/09/2022 12:34

Thank you all. 💐
He doesn’t want to talk about it today - so I’m doing as he asks and keeping my distance but letting him know I’m here.

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nuttermother · 13/06/2023 18:25

QueenOfWeeds · 18/09/2022 22:59

I remember my first term relationship ending, and my mum’s reassuring words included “although now I think about it, I was never on the receiving end. I always did the breaking up.”

I’d buy him some treats and leave them out if he looks like he’s at a loss, so he feels seen but no pressure to discuss it.

Hahahaha these were my mum's words too after my first break up!

She told me this, and then gave me the advice to 'watch out for when it seems like they don't want to be with you anymore' and then 'break up with them first'!

I was livid she hadn't given me that advice a month before 😂

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