ADHD/Autism assessment

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DD is 17 and doing A levels at college
Very bright, struggles socially, especially in groups. Has had suicidal thoughts, self harm etc. We have wondered about SN and DH jokes with her about “young Sheldon” ( he has similar traits). DD has anxiety and was referred to CAHMS by her school at 14 but they were useless so we paid for Private Counselling. The Counsellor wasn’t able to tell me what they discussed for confidentiality reasons but it seemed to help for a bit. Lockdown was great for DD as she didn’t have to socialise but going back to school was very hard and we basically coaxed her through her GCSEs and on to 6th form. She struggles Socially at college but has a boyfriend and a small friend group now. She has particular issues around food - no ED but I think ARFID when younger and now concerns about cross contamination
She had signed up for some Counselling at College and at her first session the person told her to speak to her GP about getting an ADHD/Autism assessment. I understand that GPs will refer for this but there is a long waiting list - we can pay Privately though.
Sorry so long but my question is what is the advantage to DD if we do this and she does have Autism? I don’t care about labels or stigma or anything like that but I am wondering whether a diagnosis is of practical use. Will it help her in her Uni applications or when requesting specific adjustments?
We are happy to do whatever helps but would an official diagnosis help her at all and if so is there some sort of list of Private providers who’s diagnosis would be deemed “official” if they aren’t NHS?
Thank You

How does your daughter feel about a possible autism diagnosis? Many people (obviously not all) with autism prefer the term “I am autistic” rather than “I have autism” which I think indicates how strongly people feel about autism being who they are.

I personally think it would be very beneficial to have a diagnosis, it can help those around her to understand her and her needs. I think it’s also beneficial just in terms of understanding herself, rather than being undiagnosed and having the “what is wrong with me/why am I like this?” feeling.

Regarding who can officially diagnose her, I would speak to a GP and see what they suggest.

It sounds like you’ve done amazingly in supporting her so far.

I have asked her and she says that she isn’t too bothered but if it would help her in some way she would like to.
Thank you for saying we have been supportive so far. We have tried but we are of a generation where Autism didn’t “exist”. There were slightly odd kids at school etc when we were growing up but there was no word for it. Then of course came Rainman and people with Autism were geniuses who couldn’t make eye contact so it’s not something we really considered. As I have learned more and more information is available I wonder if we could have done more for her earlier. I did take her to a Pead when she was around 9 for stomach issues and after a few questions that Dr said they had wondered about Autism but she thought not . School and previous Counsellors haven’t raised it with us either.
The college Counsellor suggested to DD we hadn’t done anything before might be because of stigma and that we might not want to get an assessment now for the same reason. That’s certainly NOT the case. We will do anything we can to help her and we are in the fortunate position that if necessary we can go Private (May even be covered under my Insurance)