First breakup help

[Goodiewhemper]

My 16 year old's boyfriend is just after breaking up with her. They have been together about five months and it seems to have come a bit out of the blue. We have chatted and she says she will be fine but I can hear her crying and I feel kind of helpless. They are in school together but thankfully not in the same form..I have agreed to let her stay home tomorrow but would appreciate any words of wisdom or guidance to help me help her through this.

Oh it’s such an awful time - I really feel for you. My 15 year old DD split up from her bf recently after 8 months. She was absolutely devastated. Came totally out of the blue. I thought she’d bounce back but it actually took her quite a few months to get on an even keel again.
Thankfully her friends rallied round. I made sure she was super busy for a good few weeks - planning things in for the times she usually saw her bf.
Even now, 5 months on there are still a couple of photos of him on her wall!
it was so so hard listening to her cry herself to sleep. Hardest thing I’ve had to do so far!

I remember this with ds at 16, he is a kind boy without a violent or nasty bone in his body. When she dumped him he was bereft. A couple of weeks later he went to a friends birthday party (there was no alcohol involved) in a community center and she was there with another boy and he couldn't cope with the emotions.

He went into the toilets and battered a couple of the doors making a hell of a racket. The birthday girls father, a big guy, came in and although he never laid hands on him was a bit overly verbally and physically gesturing aggressive and an overly emotional and now terrified ds wet himself! He was mortified (to add to a growing list of emotions), but thankfully he was wearing black denims, it was dark and no one, including the dad noticed.

All you can do is is listen and distract, let them know we have all been there, they grieve the loss of something that meant something to them, put the photos away in a box, it will ease in time, they can choose to wallow (try not to encourage) for a little while or work on moving on, and they will laugh and love again when they are ready.

Oh and ds got over her and, now 18, has been with a lovely girl for the last year and they both seem absolutely besotted with each other, it is his first more adult type relationship iykwim. We all know most relationships for 18 year olds don't go the distance, I dread if/when she ever decides to finish with him 🤦‍♀️

Thank you both so much for taking the time to reply. It is so hard to see their hearts hurt. Time does help and heal.

My girl ended up going to school on Monday as she felt it was better to get it over and done with. There was an overnight team building school trip organised for yesterday and today and he ended up in the same group as her. She was fine all day yesterday but last evening he snuk into her dorm and was playing kiss/snog/ marry etc. and other similar games with most of the girls, including her best friend. She was gutted. She is really upset and feels let down by her friend and the others. A girl in the next dorm heard what was happening and cane in and invited my girl to join them in their dorm as there was a spare bed. She phoned me early this morning to come and get her and cried the whole way home. She feels hurt and betrayed but is tucked up in bed now and is a wee bit brighter. She said his behaviour has shown her who he really is and will make recovery all the easier. She feels worse about her friend 😢. Honestly teenagers sometimes have no sense or emotional intelligence.