Help! Depression, anxiety, just personality, hormones?

[parrotonmyshoulder]

DD is 13. Has always been anxious, quiet, sees herself as an introvert. Lots of problems at school but has moved to a small independent and much happier there. Has a few friends.

She is becoming even more withdrawn I think and won’t engage in anything really. Activities she used to like (even a month ago) are rejected. For example, complete refusal to come on a bike ride today that she would usually like.

I know things change and I don’t expect her to want to do the same ‘family activities’ all the time, or much at all really. But she seems so melancholy about everything. I’m struggling with wanting her to be happy but not wanting to put pressure on her to ‘cheer up’ or pretend. She isn’t happy. She won’t do anything.

I don’t really know where to turn or what to do.

Is there anything she could be angry about? Repressed anger can manifest as depression. If you’re more comfortable with her being happy, she might find it difficult to share feelings you find uncomfortable.

if she identifies as an introvert, does she get enough free time to be herself and do her own thing and have privacy? We all have introvert and extrovert needs, though to differing extents. So I just wonder, by labelling herself maybe she’s trying to articulate and assert needs that she finds difficult to get met (which might be anger-inducing!)

Thank you for your thoughts. She definitely does get enough time to be on her own, doing what she wants. I’m not sure I am more comfortable with her being happy. To be honest she very rarely does seem happy and I have worked really hard not to try to expect her to be.

She talked the other week about sometimes seeming angry when really she was sad. That was a more communicative day.

She’s often angry about school related things, that she sees as being forced to do things she doesn’t like. She tends to verbally express these to us at home, though certainly doesn’t at school. She has been talking about feeling anxious all the time during the school term but won’t accept any help with this.