15 year old

[Motheroftweenagers]

Hello
Myself and DH recently left our 15 (nearly 16) year old alone overnight for the first time. He had strict instructions not to go out or have anyone in the house.
Yesterday I discovered a condom wrapper under his bed. He admitted he brought back a girl he's been seeing. They're not serious, so I'd say he just saw an opportunity and took it.
I'm pretty shocked as a) I didn't know he was seeing anyone and b) Didn't know he was sexually active (he might not have been before this).
He's my first teen so not really sure what to say to him - we've had words about the fact he broke a rule, just not sure how to address the casual sex part. I don't even know if he will continue the relationship.

You can't build a time machine but I'd not have left him overnight at 15. They're so impulsive at this age

I'd be telling him that as he's broken your trust, you won't be leaving him overnight again until he's 18 (whether you mean this or not is a different thing!) and I'd be telling him he's not old enough to be having sex and you're disappointed he did so as soon as your back was turned.

Then just a discussion about safe sex ( I'd probably throw in a 'well done for using contraception' here), about sex when underage, trust in general, how casual sex at this age isn't something to be encouraged and an expression of disappointment in him

I'd then move on I think.

So, in short, a stern talk and leave it there

My son did the same at 17 and worse still, I'm pretty sure that they had sex in my bed.

It's better that he uses a condom rather than not use one because you might find it.

I have a boy a similar age and I would have allowed him to go out but not bring people back. He goes out during school holidays and weekends and doesn't get locked out or anything like that.

Thank you, the experienced perspective helps. It's so difficult when it's the first time. I will give him the speech.