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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Night time gaming causing problems

2 replies

OnthePiste · 06/09/2022 19:56

DS is 15, 16 this year. He's always loved gaming, maybe a bit too much so we have always restricted how many hours he can go on his PC a day as he would never come off it otherwise. Up until the summer hols, he would come off around 9:30 in the week and 11 at the weekend. During the holidays it became clear that most of his friends were gaming late at night, up to about 3am. He felt he was missing out on the chat so asked if he could stay on a bit later and he would not start gaming until after dinner. We agreed about 1ish would be acceptable although he has been on later once or twice but never as late as some of the others.

DP has hit the roof about this. He doesn't like him gaming late and thinks it is way too late, can't believe he comes to bed after us etc. I think he is totally out of touch with today's teenagers. He has been in a mood for the last few weeks and I feel like we are walking on eggshells the whole time. We have had words and he will not back down. Now DS is back at school, he is coming off early again but has asked me if he can game late on a Friday. I think this is reasonable but there is no way DP will. Any advice how we can resolve this?

OP posts:
FruitPastilleNut · 06/09/2022 20:07

I think staying up later on a Friday and Saturday is completely normal at this age, whether to game or anything else.

My eldest (nearly 15) has had a few all nighters during the summer - staying up gaming with mates until 5am then sleeping until noon all nighters. I think that's fairly common tbh. I wouldn't make a huge habit of it but it's the holidays and I can't be overly bothered about it if we have no plans the next day. He's had plenty of midnight/1am bedtimes over summer too.

During term time, on the 3 nights in the week he doesn't have activities he's allowed to game from 7pm to 9.30pm - as long as his homework and chores are done beforehand. Then bed by 10. No gaming on Tues and Thurs as he's out until 9.15 at cadets. Friday and Saturdays could be any time until Midnight, depending on if we have plans the next day - we discuss it weekly and agree his bedtime ad hoc.

PeppermintDrop · 06/09/2022 22:08

Mine will be 16 this year and we've had this battle. During the holidays and weekends, I allow until about midnight or whatever - providing I am not disturbed at all and don't hear a thing.

During the school week, I would expect him off by about 10.30pm

He sticks to this and I've very very recently started allowing him to regulate himself a bit

I wouldn't have done this any younger than now but as he's approaching 16, it's time to start loosening off a little bit

Regarding your situation - can I ask what makes your partners opinion more valid than yours? Honestly - for the sake of continuing good relations, we absolutely have to start giving and allowing concessions - sometimes when we don't actually want to. The alternative is he does it anyway or you end up with horrible issues and arguments

The compromise your son is asking for is reasonable and I'd allow it after a discussion

Tell your partner to piss off. That's my advice

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