Bedtimes- 16 and 14

[NewDiary]

DD16, DS14. I was fairly relaxed about bedtimes over the summer but now they are back at school and I'd like them to get back into a better routine.

DD is resisting any steer from me on the grounds she's nearly an adult. DS agrees to a sensible bedtime then gets up again and I find him making toast at 11pm.

They both have to be up at 7. I'd like DD to be in bed by 11 on a school night and DS by 10.30. Is this reasonable? What approach would you take to try to get them to do it? They're both good kids and generally very thoughtful and cooperative, but on this my gently suggesting they go to bed isn't really doing it, so I need to do something else.

My 16yo doesn't have a bedtime. He gets up at 7am so it's up to him what time to go to sleep imo. It would be silly of me to force a bedtime when he could be at uni in a couple of years and could sleep whenever anyway. The important bit ime is that he gets up on time and doesn't need me getting him up.

16 year old is totally old enough to manage their own bedtime. As long as she's not making unreasonable noise and disturbing anyone else, then she gets to choose what time she goes to bed.

10.30/11 is reasonable for the 14 year old. Just enforce it in the same way that you would enforce any other boundaries that you set.

Thanks, guys- this is very helpful.

Are they in bedrooms on phone or in living room. It's very hard to get a 16 year old of their phone if they gave gf/bf they tend to be on facetime or snapping if they are able to get up no problem I'd let 16 year old self regulate his bed time.
I have 14 year old boy he goes to bed at 10 on school night he maybe on phone after I go to bed but as long as he up in morning and not whinging ill pick my battles

DD- a bit of gaming downstairs, chatting to friends on SM and mooching about making snacks. I get what everyone says about her being old enough to decide (and that's what she says herself) but I'm still worried about lack of sleep- she was up in time for school this morning but looking very underslept. Shall maybe have a chat with her about good sleep habits.

at 14 and 16 i reckon it's time to let go but if not for the 14 year old definitely for the 16 year old

😭

DD never had a real bed time, but around that age would have taken herself off to bed around 10:30 and gone to sleep about midnight

Hmm my dd is 16yo and I encourage her to be in bed by 10ish, she has an early start in the mornings as has to leave for college at 7.45am.

She needs her sleep as do I.

My 16yr old doesn't have a bed time, neither does my 14yr old, but I do ask the youngest to turn off all technology at 10.30.

I don't enforce a bedtime, but all electronics have to be downstairs and charging, such as laptops and phones by 9.30pm for my 14 yr old

My 16yo doesn't have a bedtime - we are usually in bed before him - but he's quite good at self regulating these days (not when he was younger)
Ds13 gets sent upstairs between 9.30 and 10, phone stays downstairs but he potters around, listens to music and reads for half an hour or so.

WiFi off at nights. they'll go to bed eventually