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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Poor friendship choices resulting in bad behaviour

1 reply

Gracew1 · 05/09/2022 21:40

My son has not chosen his friends well and is in with a core of lads who misbehave and encourage this in one another. I have tried explaining that if they were truly his friends, that they would look out for him (and he them), and point out that certain choices he makes are not the right ones. He is beginning his GCSEs this year and is very very able. He has aspirations but the children he is hanging round with do not. My son now would rather hang around on the street. It has been a fine line that we have been walking - between giving him the freedom but giving him boundaries but he pushes back against this all the time and this creates a lot of conflict. We have had to put boundaries in place because he has proved to be untrustworthy in a variety of circumstances. He says that we are controlling and that every other parent allows their child to stay out and hang out on the streets without wanting to know where they are or what they are doing. He has recently got into a lot of trouble whilst spending time with these lads. In order for him to meet his friends, we have to drive him so grounding him is easier. But this is not a long term solution. We want him to have the freedom and we want to be able to trust him. Is there any one out there that has accessed any help/counselling? We are trying various routes through school, but funding is so tight and waiting lists so long.

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 05/09/2022 21:43

Honestly? You won't get seen through nhs unless his actual health is at direct risk. And the minute a child refuses to engage they back off of you ever get that far.

You'll be better off going private if finances allow?

Other than that I'd ask about school councillor and/or mentor. You are doing the right things but maybe someone outside the situation backing you up will help him see that with freedom comes responsibility.

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