teenage ketamine addiction support

[elise66]

Does anyone have advice/experience of dealing with a teenager who is in the early ( we think) stages of Ketamine addiction?
Mumsnet is recommended as a great place for support but I haven't found anything on recent chats here.
Teenagers are living through such traumatic times and I don't think we are alone in our son's friend group experiencing panic attacks and depression, some are in therapy and a couple have attempted suicide, one died.
We are now wondering how strict we need to be with managing our 17 year old, who believes he should have total freedom. But having just blown his month's Saturday job wages on Ketamine after being clean for the past month (when we took him abroad), we're wondering what to do next.
Finding your son in his bedroom in a 'K-hole' and thinking him dead is not something I would wish on anyone, so if there is any support or advice out there please do share.
Thank you

I terrified my teens with bladder scarring stories from ketamine. I accepted it's a fantastic high and said yes it's great but is it really worth peeing into a bag forever? My DD was spiked with it and was about 3 hours from death and the call handler was getting me ready to do CPR. After that we were very strict with her even though she was 18. Anytime she was saying I was being to protective I referred to the incident. Even though it wasn't her fault (she was spiked by another girl and wonderful strangers stopped the girl taking her to a taxi and phoned me.) I was and still am really tough on her as I came within a whisker of losing her. It's worked for us so far. I'm not sure my situation is similar to yours but all I can say is my strict parenting has paid off.

Thank you BuckarooBanzai for responding.
Spiking is a real worry I know, and what a nightmare scenario!
Having been given Ketamine for free by a dealer, in return for a 'favour' our son was being groomed by a gang and then was given MXE - the highly addictive 'designer' version of Ketamine without realising it. This is when he OD'd and has had difficulties with cravings ever since.
A warning to all who think Ketamine is a light recreational drug and isn't addictive - it is.. and if cut with MXE it seems to be as addictive as crack..
We are getting CAHMS support for him, but this is such an unknown parenting territory any more advice and experience from others would be appreciated.

No more job would be the long term consequence for mine - no job = no money for ketamine.

Hi op. Im an adult now but took ketamine regularly in my teens and early twenties. I agree it is an addictive drug and i think people dont realise.

I have no easy answers. I think one of the problems with drug use is thst for many young people it really will just be a phsae while a handful in each social circle will just be more vulnerable to addiction and mental health issues as a result.

When you say cravings and addiction...to what extent is he addicted ? Is he doing it because he enjoys it or does he feel his own behaviour is beyond his control ahd wishes he could stop ?

It's so hard but do try to remember many many yoing people ..even those who display unhealthy patterns around social drug use..will be fine in the long run

I got in some absolutely terrible states when i was young byt in the end came to my senses...

Thanks Watergate, good to hear from another perspective. Communication is minimal with us, he says he wants to stop and feels stupid, but that maybe just because hes got caught out.
We thought the Severe bladder infection would have hit home, but seems to have been forgotten.
Drugs counselor may be getting more info than us, we feel like we're just seeing the tip of the iceberg..
Trying to keep comms open as possible, but difficult when we're seen as the over controlling parents who dont trust him (which we don't at the moment!)

Yes, a tricky one, which is worse, having money to pay and leave or stealing, or being forced to deal or be a runner to feed the addiction?

Okay - so, I'm speaking from experience of having been very 'druggy' in my youth and having a lot of friends who took drugs - including a few who ended up very badly impacted - some long term. I apologise if I'm going off track here - just speaking from what I know - but what does perhaps jump out at me here is that the idea of 'addiction' is coming from you and perhaps not from him?

Do his friends think he has a problem? would they tell you? would he tell you what they think? I would be very wary of jumping in and trying to 'solve' social drug use in a 17 year old with words like addiction/ needing counseeling etc -

He may be telling you he wants to stop - it's interesting you talked about him being 'clean' - that suggests a serious addiction rather than habit? Are you certain it is one not the other?

A lot of young people take drugs, get into terrible states, go out, makebad decisions - but it's not quite the same as having a very serious problem.

If you think he has a serious problem - I honestly don't think teenagers react to things like stories about bladders, it wouldn't have made an impact on me at the time. I watched close friends really fall apart on drugs - I think people have to get there by their own decision making to realise it's a mistake.

If you over involve yourself - and if it is just the more social type of drug taking - it might drive him away.

Ok, to take all that in order Waterrat. You or someone else here might be better able to quantify 'addiction' than me!
In A&E he independently asked for drugs & depression counselling from the CAHMS person, we obviously were scared at finding him barely breathing and comatose so yes, wanted to know how much, how often etc..
Turns out first use was 3 months before, the day after friend died and someone suggested it would help him cope, then use increased from once a fortnight to daily in the following weeks.
Friends are very concerned about him, both those who are aware of the ketamine use ( and have used it themselves) and those who are not aware. Parents of friends coming to me saying they are concerned about him. He says his friends have been monitoring him and checking on him over the past month but he was on his own when he went to buy more.
He has had heart-to heart chat with big brother saying he feels stupid and wants to get back on track.
All this taken with the proviso that he may be just saying what he thinks people want to hear...
We are trying to keep everything low-key, but obviously checking in on him regularly and he has assumed he is grounded, we have talked about starting from zero and rebuilding trust, he has agreed to have his snapchat location on for me only, just in case he goes awol, which has happened before.
TBH I admit to feeling completely overwhelmed, and veering towards OCD on this, protective maternal instinct is kicking in, but trying to be rational as far as possible. Certainly don't want to push him away which is really why I'm looking for advice.
Thank you so much for yours!

Severe bladder infection is putting it mildly - there are young people out there who have had to have their bladders removed.

The results are not pleasant to say the least.

I am in same boat with my 16yr old at present. Actually at a loss as he doesn't think he needs help, despite being offered it from numerous organisations. Presently on a come down with no access to any more as i found his stash earlier today. :(

Jazzzmina, I do hope you manage to get some support. We have had a rollercoaster of denial, lying, cries for help and currently cold Turkey. Regular deep sweeps of bedroom and bag checking, but learning to treat this as an illness helps, rather than feeling angry all the time. Try to get help from Cahms whilst he is still 16. To find if there is an underlying mental health, anxiety or depression issue?

Camhs have said severe depression but they don't know how much the ket is affecting that. I ransacked his room Wed night when he came home under influence, did same numerous times on Thu and only found drugs on Fri morning when i ransacked pockets of clothes he was wearing, cos he was up, showered and dressed by 8am "looking odd"! It's sh*t. I am wrecked.

My heart goes out to you all. You must be beside yourselves with worry 💐

My son was using K regularly at university, and I hate to break this to you but it led to a full mental breakdown which took him 2 years to recover from. Your son is still very young and living at home, so at least you have some control. Is he having grief counselling for the loss of his friend? If money allows, I’d bypass CAHMS as you could be waiting for a very long time, and get him help now privately. Alternatively back to the GP with him and tell the Gp he is regularly using drugs to see if they can get him into a program

Thank you Vixetar, we have been 'fortunate' in that Cahms have stepped up really quickly and he is getting counselling for depression and drug use. Not out of the woods by any means and have had relapses but communication and openness seem to be helping. There are so many pressures on this generation that we can't understand or imagine, and it seems so much more common than parents imagine for kids to get sucked into drug use.
All we can do is support and try to listen without judgement even when feeling hurt and frightened as parents.
Biggest worries are the risk of bouncing from one form of substance abuse escape to another.

The best advice so far from drugs counselor was to trust your instincts, if something feels wrong, it probably is. Don't be scared to do a regular drugs sweep and check everything, once found a bag inside his phone case, another time when high and scared he admitted to having cut floorboard under bed to create a hiding place!
Talk, talk and more talk, taking everything at face value and watching for inconsistencies...

Hi, I've just seen this thread as I'm doing some research, my son passed away 3 months ago from ketamine toxicity, he was 26, he was using this drug for over 3 years, he was highly addicted, using around 1-3g every other day, his usage started recreational at festivals then his best friend died when he was 22, he used more then to deal with the grief, then we had lockdown and through boredom his use escalated, we intervened as had no idea this was happening as he had a good job and lived on his own, he started having psychotic episodes, bladder issues and extreme pain, sent him to rehab but relapsed time after time, the torture we all went through as a family for 3 years was something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I wish we had known sooner and got him the help he needed before he got in too deep, unfortunately he didn't make his 27th birthday and my life has been turned upside down. I'm now trying to get awareness out there how dangerous this drug is, I've been to my MP, reporters etc and I've set up a Facebook group for ketamine awareness. Please if your children is doing this drug get them to stop.

@Floster1976

@Floster1976 I am so sorry.

I was coming on here to warn the other parents about toxicity. Where I live (not the UK), Ketamine is increasingly contaminated by both Fentanyl and Xylazine, both of which are deadly. The message I give my children is that nothing is safe, nothing/nothing/nothing, no matter how well you know the person giving it to you.

Instead of saying "never do drugs", I encourage them to a) wait until their brains are developed, and b) find a way to test their drugs (not easy). This seems to give a bit of space for them to think/process their choices rather than a flat "never do this". Having said that I hope that they don't use these types of drugs at all (and yes, I used my fair share as a youth!).

I'm so sorry you are all going through this. I know that a change of scene isn't easy to do, but is there a relative or aunt/uncle your son can go and stay with for a time? Just to shift the perspective, meet new people, etc? I am asking because you said that he managed to stop using when you went away recently.

Good luck!!