16 year olds and phones/screentime

[Squashnewbie]

Looking for advice about my Dd and managing her phone addiction. How ‘strict’ can I go, considering I have paid for her phone and current contract?
I know it’s a common problem, but it’s affecting all areas of her life and I don’t feel I can just send by and watch
Studies are suffering, family life is suffering (very irritable and shouty when asked to do anything as it takes her away from talking to her friends on the phone). Self care is also poor. Overall sleep and mood is also affected. She has 12-13 hours a day on devices/screens which I’m sure is leading to this
basically she has no interest in anything else.
i do take her phone off her at night, and she isn’t allowed it at mealtimes, but should I do more?
Should I be limiting the number of hours she’s on it in the daytime?
I’m mindful she’s 16 and needs to be figuring it out for herself, but clearly isn’t. On the other hand I feel I have a window of possibility between 16-18. At the very least feel her phone shouldn’t be allowed to mess up her education

I think the phone is a red herring here. You are blaming the phone when the issue is lack of confidence and motivation to do anything.

I have DS16 and DD17 (nearly 18). At 16 mine have

• A part time job (usually one weekend shift and at least one evening shift)
• Go out with mates (often just hanging around the local park or shopping area) a couple of times a week
• 2 × sport training and 2 × matches per week.
• From next week, at college full time

All the rest of their downtime they are 90% on screens. That's a normal way for 16yo to spend their downtime.

The issue here seems to be why isn't your daughter getting a job, doing something extra curricular and seeing her mates? What's she planning on writing on her UCAS form when applying for uni? Thats the issue, not phone use.

Same problem here. Mine is not interested in seeing mates and has missed chance of job for this summer. If they won't do stuff for themselves or follow your suggestions it's very hard, but I try to impose a minimum of chores /outdoor exercise/errands to prevent them being all day in bed/ online.
No extra curricular at all here either. All the stuff we carefully nurtured in earlier years fell away in early teens. I'll be pushing for something to get started.
It seems they are actually quite prepared to chat or do stuff with us these days- annoying when you have work!
One option could be insist she gets a job at weekends or does voluntary work- charity shop? My only way of insisting would be making allowance dependent on it.

Thanks for the replies
I do try to encourage other activities but the phone seems to take preference over everything.
she is also on medication (antidepressants) and having therapy

Just bumping this as I am facing the same with my DS16. All his spare time seems to be gaming, here’s in year 12 and as PP said what is he going to put on his UCAS form? I’m all for blocking his laptop and phone ( laptop goes off at 11 pm, he has 24/7 phone access). it’s causing stress with DH because as I see it he wimps out, DS has form for busting into our room at night if we’ve blocked anything and forces us to back down when we are exhausted, DH usually caves before me. We have agreed to speak with DS after supper, explain we think there is a problem , he needs to cut down or we will block his laptop more strictly after 2 weeks if we don’t see an improvement.

OP feel free to ask me to start my own thread, just thought the problem was the same so hopefully any comments or advice will be useful to both!