not wanting to come on holiday

[gardenbeachsand]

Hello,
At the start of the holidays my parents asked me to go on holiday with them just a seaside town. (booked for the last week)
my teen 13 said they didnt want to go.

we spoke briefly (they said they just want to game) and i said we will just go for a couple of days.

My teens have gone for contact and teen 13 said again they didnt want to go. I tried to have a chat why over the phone, teen just said they want to be ready for school, they feel like if they go away they still feel like its the summer holiday and wont have enough time to get in the routine of going back to school. ( when we come back there is still 4 days till school.)

I have a another child who wants to go.
I havent seen teen for a couple of weeks so choosing not to for a couple more days hurts.
But if we dont go my other child misses out.
I dont know what to do now
Hes at contact so will just refuse to come home.
Do i cancel? or just go without him?

Go without the teens if they don't want to join in and take the child who will enjoy the holiday.

Are they safely able to stay where they are if you go? They are obviously too young to leave on their own, but if they can stay where they are I’d let them stay there and go on your holiday with your other DC. That way everybody is happy.

Teenagers are sometimes intrinsically selfish, they probably don’t realise that they are hurting your feelings. I would have a chat with the about that but calmly, and after your holiday. If you try to do it before it will get too emotive. Pick your battles.

Don't take it personally. Your teen knows they have a place to stay where they can game their precious youth away while you and younger child got round a seaside town with grandparents. It isn't a teen dream holiday and I would bet he just thinking "no Wi-Fi for days, sight seeing and sharing a bedroom with younger brother".

Let him stay home with good grace, maybe chuck him the spends he would have got in his hols and he could go out to the cinema etc.

It not you, it's him. In a good way.

Agree just go without him.
It's sad for you but don't let it ruin a holiday for you and younger dc

Thank you for your all replies.

yes teen is with father.
Ex is just off with me and would love to use it against me. 🙄
If it was the other way way round they will be bribed with the whole world to go.

Im Feeling a bit better to go with other dc.

DS1 gets to do what they chose so you don't need to feel bad, use this to have an awesome time with your younger one, my younger one has really benefitted by me being pushed away by my older one this summer holiday I think!

Honestly, go on HOLIDAY, have fun 👍

If it makes you feels better, I went on a mini break with youngest dc and dh is about to go on one with eldest dc. Middle dc hates leaving home so other than a few trips out to eat and for an ice cream, he has just been crafting and gaming at home all summer.

DH and I really prefer to be together but the kids love a bit of divide and conquer when it comes to parents!

Thank you to all the replies so far.

Just a message to those if there are any, who read this and disagrees. i still would like to hear all opinions.

I'd also say go without him and leave him with his dad. if you force him to go there's a good chance he'll spoil your holiday by being the typical miserable grumpy git that teens are and refusing to go on certain outings etc and not take part in activities so let him do what he wants. I'm speaking from experience as I have a similar aged teen who spent the whole holiday saying everything was boring and rubbish and sat with hoodie up on phone whilst younger dc had fun on beach and activities.

I'd also say go without him and leave him with his dad. if you force him to go there's a good chance he'll spoil your holiday by being the typical miserable grumpy git that teens are and refusing to go on certain outings etc and not take part in activities so let him do what he wants. I'm speaking from experience as I have a similar aged teen who spent the whole holiday saying everything was boring and rubbish and sat with hoodie up on phone whilst younger dc had fun on beach and activities.

You offer, they choose. If they don't want to go, then they can stay with their dad. I don't see how that could cause any issues really. The ones who want to go get to go, and the ones who don't want to go can stay at home glued to a screen. Win/win.