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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

What do do about adult teenager

5 replies

Teenprobs · 22/08/2022 14:05

My teen post lockdown is just quite simply not the adult (19) I brought him up to be.

He doesn't contribute to the house bar his rent money which he is apparently earning by selling cannibis (nothing at mine) His Job is cleaning 3 hours a day. He sleeps in bed all day does his part time Job then disappears all night I gave him an ultimatum of sorting his life out or leaving so he's decided to leave but won't tell me when or where.

The be cruel to be kind is slapping me in the face. The nicey nicey approach has slapped me in the face. Everyone is telling me to just let him go but he's still my son and I want to make sure he's alright no issue if he wants to leave I can't accept that kind of behaviour but he's basically emotionally punishing me by cutting me out of his life saying I need him out of the house. (Other kids) he's an adult. This is not true he can stay as long as he needs as long as he respects my house and rules I gave up my bedroom so all of my kids have a room as i feel is inappropriate for them to share (age gaps) He has Qualifications he's not interested in going to uni or following his life long career dream , or seriously passing his driving test (failed theory multiple times) he's spent all his savings in lockdown on crap and takeaways and god knows what else he's just on a self sabotaging road! All he wants to do is see friends, and smoke pot. What would you do? Please don't attack me I'm beside myself. I need to do the best for all my children. But I feel like the worst mother ever. I don't want our relationship to be ruined but I feel I'm being left with no choice. Am I a bad mum?

OP posts:
Circleofshells · 09/03/2023 13:07

@Teenprobs how did you deal with this in the end? How are things now?

Ragingoverlife · 10/03/2023 11:24

He moved out with a friend we had a big argument on the day as he left his room a tip we didn't talk for a month but now we're absolutely fine. I don't see him as much as I would like but he does love me and our time is better xx our relationship has improved however I'll never see him without somewhere to live so he still has a bed at mine but not a whole room X

Ragingoverlife · 10/03/2023 11:25

Oh and he finally passed his theory lol

Circleofshells · 12/03/2023 15:39

Ragingoverlife · 10/03/2023 11:24

He moved out with a friend we had a big argument on the day as he left his room a tip we didn't talk for a month but now we're absolutely fine. I don't see him as much as I would like but he does love me and our time is better xx our relationship has improved however I'll never see him without somewhere to live so he still has a bed at mine but not a whole room X

@Ragingoverlife That’s really good to hear, thanks for the update! Sounds like you did a great job of managing the post move relationship. Looking back on it would you have done anything differently? What advice would you give someone in the same situation now?

Circleofshells · 12/03/2023 15:40

Ragingoverlife · 10/03/2023 11:25

Oh and he finally passed his theory lol

Oh good for him! I bet that gave him a boost

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