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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Boys weight

30 replies

Mum3boyz · 18/08/2022 22:28

Hi, I do have another post on another thread but thought this topic area might be better suited.
Have you had any issues with your young teenager gaining too much weight to the point where you can see it's affecting them ( mine is 13). And if so, any advice you can share on how you handled this?

OP posts:
ColmanFlamingo · 18/08/2022 22:30

Following this too. My tween has suddenly just turned quite rounded round the middle. He's probably due a growth spurt but he's a lot like DH and I do want to help him stay healthy.

Original poster
Mum3boyz · 18/08/2022 22:47

Same. I just want to do the right thing to keep him healthy. I'm worried any conversation I have with my DS might be shaming which I want to avoid!

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Pinklady245612 · 22/08/2022 08:09

I've had similar worries here. My 13 yo hasn't been too active throughout the pandemic, and didn't want to return to most of his clubs afterwards. However he can be tempted with money.....so when a paper round came up at the local shop he took it. An hour's cycle 6 days a week has made a lot of difference, and I can see he is a lot more confident in himself. He is also a bit obsessed with roller coasters, so he wants to train for a 5k which is at Alton Towers. He has definitely lost weight around his middle so I would say he is now in normal range. He still has puppy fat in his breast area which I think can get him down, but from what I read this can be a hormonal thing which will likely sort itself out.

Original poster
Mum3boyz · 22/08/2022 10:56

@Pinklady245612 thanks for sharing your experience. Do you think boys of this age sometimes put on weight before they grow up?

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Moonface123 · 22/08/2022 11:03

l think once their hormones kick in they become more interested in how they look. My eldest son has always been tall and slim, younger one was abit heavier around age 13, but then had a massive growing spurt, well over 6 ft now , not an ounce of fat on him, struggles to keep his shorts and trousers up without a belt, and he' s much more active.

Original poster
Mum3boyz · 22/08/2022 21:35

I'm just not sure of when I should say something. I have made sure we have very limited snack food in the house and have been making DS healthy salads to snack on in the evening because he says he feels hungry.
But today he found my husbands perkier bars (like health food bars) and ate five of them. I only know because I found all the wrappers. Should I say, that's too many to eat - it's not good for you - or am I shaming him?
Last week I found he'd taken a loaf of bread up to his bedroom and eaten half with a pot of jam. I said to him it was not very healthy to eat all that wheat and sugar. He said it was because he feels really hungry in the evenings. This is when I started making him salads. I don't want to say things that will make him start to have a problem with food.

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Blanketpolicy · 22/08/2022 21:57

The only thing that seems to fill ds(18) up properly, and stops him having too much bread/cereals/sweet things, when he is hungry is protien. So eggs (omelette, poached, boiled), cooked chicken (either a leg by itself or in wrap), full tin of tuna with some pasta/veg, or quark if he wants something sweet. Anything else and he is hungry again in 30 mins! Tell him protien is important for growing boys.

Also a good time to start teaching them how to knock up a quick omelette themselves (extra points if you get them to enjoy it with veg in it or a bit of salad on the side) as, if he is anything like ds, he'll be on 4-5 meals a day for the next few years!!

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 23/08/2022 23:05

Absolutely do not say anything to them, it is completely normal for younger teens to gain weight as this kick starts puberty.

Saying anything could trigger body image issues and possibly eating disorders.

I have a teen with an ED which was triggered in part by her gaining a small amount of weight when she was 13yo.

Teens need lots of food, they're growing and developing and normally it does even out.

Original poster
Mum3boyz · 23/08/2022 23:36

@Girliefriendlikespuppies thank you for this advice. My instinct is to not say anything but also I worry that I will not be giving him good nutritional advice. It's such a hard one. My sister also had an ED when we were growing up so it's something that is very close to my heart. Sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope she is ok x

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Original poster
Mum3boyz · 23/08/2022 23:38

@Blanketpolicy thank you for the suggestion! I offered a snack this evening of crackers with chicken slices and a salad and it seems to have gone down well. I mentioned the importance of protein and DS was very interested. Thank you so much for the advice!

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Girliefriendlikespuppies · 24/08/2022 07:55

Mum2boys ED have a strong genetic component so the fact his aunt had an ED means you need to tread even more carefully.

Teens needs lots of calories including carbs, please don't label any foods as good or bad. ED often start off by a desire to eat more healthily and quickly take hold as more and more restrictive behaviours creep in.

If he's telling you he's hungry then believe him, my brothers as teens ate a huge amount of food. They could easily eat a big plate of dinner, pudding and then be raiding the fridge again half an hour later. This is normal and they're both healthy adults now (both over 6ft tall!!)

The fact you've already highlighted to him that carbs and sugar should be avoided is already sending out potentially damaging messages.

Honestly try and relax, do not make an issue of it is my advice.

Pinklady245612 · 26/08/2022 18:33

Just wanted to add that eating without thinking about nutrition or when to stop is normal. My friend's son took an entire packet of roll out icing to his room and ate the lot 😬 I definitely think they grow out before they grow upwards too. I personally don't think there is any harm in saying 'that was an unhealthy choice' for more extreme behaviour e.g. I think saying eating 5 snack bars is an unhealthy choice is factual. Don't demonise or tell him off, but to say let's mix in some fruit next time you have a snack bar is ok imo.

Marinamountainzoo · 26/08/2022 18:39

If he's always hungry, is he getting enough sleep? Tiredness makes you hungrier.

Also make sure he's a getting a good balance of protein, carbs and fat. I'd be starving after a salad!

denysedenyse · 26/08/2022 19:01

Now 16 and has sensory food issues weights over 20 stone. Asked for help but all I was told is reduced food in the house. Not exactly ideal when he eats all there is and the 3 of us have nothing left

Original poster
Mum3boyz · 26/08/2022 21:04

@Pinklady245612 thanks for this insight and advice. I have been trying this by encouraging healthier choices but good idea to be more specific. I did say to him "hon, it's not very healthy to eat 5 cereal bars" and he was really surprised and pointed out they were "healthy". So it does show that in his case he does need some guidance. But of course I don't want him to feel bad about himself. I said that we can enjoy all things in moderation.
Just yesterday after his friends had been over he said to me, mum I think I'm going to be short and fat and I've decided to embrace that. I found that hard to hear as I felt he wanted to talk about it but I wasn't sure what is right to say. I said you're only 13 and you have lots of growing to do. Your friends have grown before you. You are not fat but if you feel uncomfortable with your weight, tell me what I can do to help. It's hard to know if that's the right thing to say.

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Original poster
Mum3boyz · 26/08/2022 21:10

@Marinamountainzoo he does actually sleep loads! Probably 12 hours a night at the moment!

I would also be starving after a salad Smile

He has good balanced meals at dinner - potatoes with chicken and veg, or stir fries with rice etc.

I am making him salads as his snack for the evening and including sliced chicken to help fill him up as he says he's hungry. Previously he was eating a lot of calories from refined sugar and carbs which I think were not healthy.

He seems happy with these. But I am not restricting him otherwise. Today we were out with his friends and they ate hotdogs and donuts and I am totally fine with that - just trying to limit the unhealthy calories when he's at home.

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Original poster
Mum3boyz · 26/08/2022 21:12

@Girliefriendlikespuppies thank you for your advice. I will try and relax! 👍

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SimonaRazowska · 26/08/2022 21:20

Are you and your husband overweight? His siblings? Granny? Uncles?

Kids do as they see, not as they are told.

If you and DH both are slim, it is likely you have good eating habits and then ultimately he will have that too. Are you an active family? I find teen boys eat a lot (mine are around 3500 cals a day which was hard to cater for) but they also really needed a lot of exercise/activities

A bit like dogs, they need to let off steam (climbing walls etc are great as a fun activity, racket sports, football, swimming, anything)

But yeah, nobody needs salads as a meal Grin too much limp wet cold sadness

YesItIsI · 26/08/2022 21:22

From what you've written here you've mentioned several instances where he was really interested in what you had to say about nutrition.

Maybe you could.look into the topic together? Consider different nutrients and how they benefit the body. It might help him to view food as fuel and make healthier choices as a result.

drkpl · 26/08/2022 21:29

If he’s hungry in the evenings try a big bowl of porridge with skimmed milk and a small teaspoon of honey. Very filling and not too many calories.

Original poster
Mum3boyz · 26/08/2022 22:57

@YesItIsI that is such a good idea. Thank you so much!

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Original poster
Mum3boyz · 26/08/2022 22:57

@drkpl thanks for the suggestion. I will give that a try!

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Original poster
Mum3boyz · 26/08/2022 23:03

@SimonaRazowska My husband and I are not overweight. We are both on the thin side. Siblings (one older brother 16 and one younger brother 11) are very slim. Both siblings play a lot of football but my middle DS has no interest in sport.
We do all eat healthily. Just my middle DS likes to snack a lot outside of mealtimes and he's old enough to go out and buy what he fancies. I just worry about his health and self esteem.

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Valhalla17 · 26/08/2022 23:07

My ds had gotten heavy. We spoke about it (he mentioned feeling uncomfortable) and I gave him a small target to lose to help him feel better. We've stopped snacks pretty much and have scaled down the portion size. More water to drink, the odd fab ice pop when it's hot! He's got out to do sports, some swimming and is more mindful of what he chooses to eat. Eggs, avocado, rice and more veg are things he is now choosing. If he wants a biscuit or crisps i dont stop him but these things are much less often. He's lost 5lbs in about 3wks without worrying about it much. I've kept him occupied in the evenings with activities at home or out at the park, so food is not a focus.

Kaiken · 26/08/2022 23:11

At what time do you have dinner? Maybe it is way too early if he is still hungry later on.