Teens Paying for Petrol?

[Cameleongirl]

I was talking about this recently with a friend and discovered that we have different opinions, so wanted to find out what other parents of teens think.

Both our DD's (17) passed their driving tests in the spring. I agreed to share my car with DD, as she plays on a sports team, so being able to drive herself to practices is convenient for us both. I also WFH some days so as long as I plan appointments well, I can easily manage without my car. Public transport is dire here, but Uber is available if I need it.

I also let her use the car for socializing, for example, she worked yesterday evening (a summer job at a restaurant) and then drove to a friend's house to stay the night.

I continue to pay the insurance and refill the car when needed. I expect DD to let me know when the tank's getting low and obviously if she doesn't and ends up needing to refill it herself, she'll have to pay for it.

My friend was really surprised that I'm covering all the petrol and insurance. She expects her DD to contribute to both. My reasoning is that DD is actually helping me out by no longer requiring so many lifts!

Now, if my DD causes damage, that's different. I would expect her to contribute to the repair as she is earning and will continue to work at the weekend during the school year.

What do other parents do?

Forgot to mention. This isn't a budgeting issue; my friend is better off than we are. She simply views this differently.

My ds 18 has his own car he inherited from my mum. I paid for lessons, he paid for his test. He is on my insurance which raised the cost by £400+ which I pay, but it’s significantly cheaper than getting his own policy atm. Usually I fill the car up, but he will if he has to.

We are paying ds(18) first year insurance, he has a PT job and pays for all his own fuel.

Plan is he will contribute to insurance next year, but we will see what happens when we get there (might give him it as combined Xmas /birthday gift)

I think your daughter is very lucky to be able to access a car without paying a penny towards it!

I feel that transportation whether by self-drive or public transit is my responsibility to pay for so long as they are FT education (to include term breaks/holidays).

My only exception would be if they went away on a holiday trip that involved hours of travel out of the local area. In that case they’d pay for the petrol/train/plane.

She needs to pay for the fuel uses at least! Or you are not teaching her how to budget properly. Also ask for a contribution towards insurance if it is costing you extra to have her on there.

We didn't charge our DS for 'sharing' my car at that age ... we were grateful if he occasionally washed it though! Now he has his own car (he is 21) - which he saved up for although we did give a modest contribution- and whilst working on his gap year was responsible for all costs.

Presumably your DD is working part time and is in education ? ... I would cover the costs in that case, but hope they appreciate that running a car is expensive.

I agree, @Discovereads , if she went away for a jolly with her friends I would expect the car to be returned with a full tank.

My logic is that she’s saving me alot of time by driving herself to practices and elsewhere, and my time is precious! Once practices start next week, she’ll have them 5x a week and unlike previous years, she’ll be independent.

Tbh, it’s even increased my earning capacity as I’m self-employed so the more time I have, the better.

She’s hoping to go to university next year so it’ll end then except when she’s home. My friend clearly thinks I’m a softie. 😂

Do you mean you are listed as the main driver on his car and he's a named driver? If so, that's fronting and he's not actually insured.

OP - we expect them to pay for some of the petrol over the summer as they do a lot of driving for work. Main reason is it makes them think whether a journey is necessary or not. We still pay most of it though.

When I learned to drive I was on my mum's insurance before I moved away to Uni, I think I contributed to the extra cost but she covered most of it. I would also top up the fuel if I were driving it, same with all my friends and their parents' cars. Also, if one friend was driving a load of us around we'd all chip in for petrol.

My children are too young for this to be an issue but I think I'd cover their insurance and make sure they had enough cash for fuel for an emergency but if they want to drive around to their mates or to McDonald's in the middle of the night (which we all did) they can pay for their own fuel.

Perhaps I should insist that she fills it up occasionally, to make the point that cars are expensive to run.

We live rurally, so my daughter got her own car at 18. Even then, she contributed 1/3 of the Costs of buying it, I pay her insurance, but she buys all her petrol. I do give her some money to help her out, but how do they learn if everything is always done for them? Since having to pay for petrol, my daughter has started learning the value of things a hell of a lot more!

We bought our son a car and paid for insurance. He works part time and gets an allowance from us as well so pays for petrol out of that.

If you’re happy with how things are, it’s fine. My son had a good attitude and is responsible with money, that’s all I’m bothered about. It’s none of your friends business.

@BorderlineObsessedWithYou She didn’t suggest that I was wrong, we were just surprised at how differently we viewed this and I’m wondering g whether I’m being too soft.

Fair enough. I just think if you’re happy with it, don’t worry how others are doing things. If my son acted like an entitled brat, I’d change how I do things, but he’s a good lad, so if I can make life a bit easier for him, I do. There will be years ahead where they have to pay for everything themselves. If your daughter has a good attitude and is appreciative of the help you give her, I don’t think you’re being to soft.

My teens haven't reached that age yet but when I was 18/19 all my friends who drove paid for their own petrol. I have fond memories of 5 of us piling into someone's fiesta and each coughing up £1 for the petrol. £5 of petrol was enough in 1999 to get us to the nearest big town for a day of window shopping and lunch at burger king. Good times .

@OchonAgusOchonOh I don’t understand what ‘fronting’ is. Please explain?

Fronting is when you are listed as the main driver of his car and he is a named driver. If he's the main driver of the car, he needs to be listed as such.

My son uses my car and we take turns in filling it up (dc = 20 now).

Does your dd has a part-time job? If so, then maybe alternate filling up could work for you?

I don’t think you are soft. I used to pay for petrol when my dc was at school. If they were doing a lot of jollies, then maybe I would have thought differently, but I fully agree with you logic, that you would have paid anyway.

I'd make her pay for the fuel she uses & I say that as someone who as a teen used my parents business account at the local petrol station.

DD has her own car & pays for almost everything (I help with MOT & tax). She's definitely realised that cars are expensive.

I did have to laugh when I asked for a lift & she came out with "well I'll need petrol money, cars don't run on fresh air & goodwill you know"

Neither is right or wrong, you are doing it your way, your friend is doing it hers. Both ways are ok.

DD is 19, passed tests and shared the 2nd car with DH. They both work in the same area and she uses it to get to Gym ect.
She pays the extra for the insurance and she pays half the petrol weekly.
She earns a good wage and she's an adult, she needs to learn in life that things cost and to budget

My parents bought my first car for me (£500). From the age of 17 I paid for my car insurance, I paid for the tax, I paid for the MOT, I paid for the petrol.

You shouldn't feel like your DD has done you a favour by driving herself around now - she's capable of getting public transport!

Your friend is in the right in my opinion - your DD needs to start contributing!

To clarify, my DD is in full-time education and has a summer job that will continue during term time weekends. My friend's DD is in a similar position, but also works a couple of weekday evenings during term time. She isn't on a sport team though so has more free time (and tbh, I'm not keen on my DD working on weekdays during the school year, I'd rather she spent the time on her homework).

I think I'll ask her to pay for some of the petrol, especially when she's using my car alot.

@AWobABobBob She genuinely couldn't get public transport to her sports practices, though, it simply doesn't exist. She'd have to get an Uber and I'm not keen on that, although I do know other parents who let their under-18's take Ubers. When she's 18, she can do what she likes.