16 year old daughter and sex with boyfriend.

[Manchestertimes]

Just looking for advice but I think I already know the answer! My 16 year old daughter has been with her 16 year old boyfriend for 5 months. He is at our house all the time and is a nice boy.
They are in her bedroom with the door shut and I'm sure they have been experimenting.
I have spoken to her about dangers of pregnancy etc but she doesn't want to listen - keeps just saying we are not having sex.
I think they are too young and immature to have a sexual relationship but worry she could get pregnant. If I buy condoms is it like me giving a green light to say I agree with them having sex? I know about horney teens but really don't want it going on in my house but also don't want her to get pregnant.
Any advice appreciated.

Why make it easy for them? Bedroom doors were open at 16 in this house and I did an awful lot of popping in and out too.

** I did buy condoms but explained this wasn't the go ahead. Personally if I had a daughter I'd seriously consider suggesting the pill.

Buying condoms is not a green light but shows you are open to talking about these things. If they are going to have sex, they will have sec. Personally I’d rather my dd was having sex at home than anywhere else, where she feels comfortable and knows people are around if she needs them. I teach sex ed so have quite different ideas about this to lots of my friends though.

And if you don’t want it going on in your house, take a moment to consider the alternative venues and whether you would be happy with those.

She is 16 its legal sit her down and ask her how she feels about going on the pill she may even be taking it already, teens don't need the green light they will do it regardless.

Some people forget what it's like being a teen if they want to have sex they will if not at home somewhere else.

I think given that it's legal and they're deemed old enough to decide for themselves you have to work on the assumption that they will do it when they want, regardless of what you say.

You then have to decide do you want that to be hidden from you or for her to be open with you? Do you want it to be protected or unprotected? Do you want it to be safe at home or somewhere else? Alter your behaviour based on what outcome you'd like.

What @Haggisfish3 said with bells on! I’ll always be grateful I wasn’t stopped from having sex at home and that a closed door was respected.
They are both 16 it’s not illegal and it will happen (or not) no matter what you say.

My teen dd has a baby and we were very close and discussed sex/ relationships but she genuinely thought using condoms would be OK. She tells me she didn't get the pill because she was scared of getting fat and depressed....with hindsight I wish I had been more direct with her.

have u discussed femidoms with her? was pretty gruggly for me and we were going at it hard

You know there's only a 1% difference in terms of effectiveness between the pill and condoms right?

Leave condoms and encourage birth control. Let her have sex at home where she is safe and comfortable.

The alternative is far worse.

Also be proud of your DD for establishing healthy relationships at her age, 16 is pretty average for sex and he sounds like a good choice - also some teens can't even bloody talk to each other never mind make healthy connections.

I wouldn't trust teens just with condoms
My DD (16) has the patch - ok in an ideal world she wouldn't be having sex but....

In a perfect world, where both are used exactly according to the directions.

In the real (teen) world, where mistakes happen, they are a good backup for each other.

Have a frank conversation with her & show her how to use a condom and make a pile of them available somewhere for when the time eventually comes.

I would definitely be firm with her and just explain that she is legally at the age to have sex but you would rather her be safe about it. My mother never spoke to me about sex instead she booked me an appointment with the GP told me it was a check up and attended with me and because I was 16 the doctor allowed her to be in the room and thats when I found out she had actually booked it because she wanted me to get the depo. I got up and left and I was so angry with her I completely shut her out. I did go on contraception but it was my own choice and I sorted it myself with the doctor.

@TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet yes very true! However I think if a sexually actively women doesn't want to put hormonal contraceptives into her body- condoms should be encouraged rather than her mum pushing the pill!