Dreading holiday

[Libre2]

We are heading off on Thursday for 10 days. DH's aunt booked us a cabin (UK) for a week for our Christmas present which was very sweet of her, but I'm not sure it's going to be terribly entertaining for the 11 and 13 year old. There are things in the vicinity to do but I am just dreading it.

I think I'm sub-consciously very anxious because last time we went away at this time of the year we ended up in hospital with DS (now 13) who was diagnosed with T1 diabetes, so we have that whole fun and games which makes going out to eat much less spontaneous etc.

DS is also typically 13 and a bit of an arsehole at times (although at other times funny and engaging). He doesn't really want to go. He and DD (who generally get along quite well) have to share a room (and no, I know this isn't ideal but it is what it is and we have promised that this is the last time they have to share - neither have reached puberty yet, which slightly mitigates it in my view).

We usually try and have a tech detox during a week away, which has in the past worked really well. Kids are allowed TV but no phones/ipads etc and we do board games etc etc. DS has always been up for it in the past but is far less up for it this time. Perhaps this is now an unreasonable expectation.

Anyway, no idea what the point of the post is but if you have any tips for helping me relax and it be more bearable I would be grateful!

If I were you I'd ditch the no tech rule at least for a few hours a day and let them have some free time just to lounge. I have a 16 and 14 year old and holidays have changed recently for us too.

We find this schedule works best now with teens. No more early starts

Get up late 9/10
Teens sleep in till 11ish.
Aim to leave house at 12 explore area. We try to do a mix of shops museums castles beach or walks etc.
Only do one or two things a day.
Plenty of down time
Take cards etc for games if they fancy
Eat our 2/3 times. Eat in cottage rest of time. Watch Movies etc.

Holidays for us are now more about family time and relaxing.
Dh and I alone would do loads more if we could but at the mo we accept we need to wait until kids can be left alone to get back to holidays for us.

It's hard to get used to tho and I do miss the holidays when they were little.

Yeh -scrap the no-tech rule. 10 days missing out on 'chatting' with mates is not going to go down well, and is I think unfair.

You could try using the phones actively with a bit of geocaching - sort of orienteering/treasure hunting with tech. Look at the geocaching website for info. I always use the c:geo app though.

Definitely adjust your expectations, and adopt a more teen-friendly timetable as per @whenwillthemadnessend suggests.

Perhaps put together a list of ideas for trips/outings before you go and get everyone to choose something from it.

If you do have something that will take a whole day and need an earlier start, make sure everyone knows about it the night before.

I have a 14 year old and yes holidays are totally rubbish with teen dc now. Always pulling their face at every suggestion of things to do, places to go whilst away etc.
I actually can't wait till they're grown and Independent so we can holiday on our own without them and their miserable face putting a downer on every holiday or day out.
we've got a week away also in UK coming up during the school hols and I can't say I'm looking forward to it. I never thought I'd ever say I don't enjoy spending time with my dc anymore but I honest don't now. Teens are ten times harder than toddlers!

I went to wales for a week with my kids around that age - 12 and 14. I didn't limit tech (phones) but it wasn't an issue.
My son is quite high energy and did exercises in the garden as he was trying to up his fitness so did versions of the bleep test.
We got up reasonably early, breakfast then off to explore. Kids definitely want to know where they are going, how long for, and what's there. No 'pottering' around a pretty village. Took them to a couple markets, we climbed up the Cats Back with the dogs, found a few nice pubs for lunch. Then back home a board game or two, dinner and the tv had crap reception so it was going through the cottages DVD collection, which was mainly from the 90s!
We had a good time - kids not crabby at all.

Today for example we left at 12 and got a train to Leeds. Bit of shopping sightseeing. Meal in city then do rice back.

Kids run to rooms (separate rooms)

Maybe they will come down later. Maybe they won't.

My dh needs the time away from work. As long as he can relax the kids can do what they like tbh.

We're off to a eurocamp type place in Holland with x 2 DC ages 12 and 15... But they're both only a month off 13 and 16. I booked this holiday in 2019 but it's a covid carry over and they are now very different people with different interests.

I've shortened it to a 4 night break, I'm gutted but have realised after a few grim holidays that multiple short breaks work better than one long one.
DD likes shopping and cities so we'll go to Amsterdam which will take a whole day. She no longer wants the pool etc a swimming is now "pointless" this is severely limiting on a holiday. However I've told her she's going to the pool complex with DS just for a couple of hours.

We'll hire bikes and cycle to the beach one day. I'm hoping there may be other British teenagers there who they might link up with however neither are very good at that sort of thing. DD is very urban, Instagram influencer style and definitely a city chick.... The middle class teenagers you get on those types of holidays will not appeal to her (I say this as I was once one myself and I've also worked in France for eurocamp)!

DS is easier to please but does get bored quickly. Next year once she's 16 I'm leaving her at home. I've told DH were eating out every evening as I hate shopping, meal prep and cooking/washing up on holiday... I'm at the back end of having done it for 16 years and am done with it.

Looking forward to one day holidays being fun again!

We’ve got a teen and 2,younger kids. Going on holiday originally booked for 2020 so the kids are all a couple of years older. We’ve told teenager we will stay at pool/ beach for 2 days and then go sightseeing every 3rd day so if he only needs to do anything every 3 days. I remember as an older teen going away with my parents and I only saw them for an hour for evening meal. They went out sightseeing for the day and I stayed by the pool. We met for dinner and then I went to the park/bar area with my new holiday friends. Loved it!

Well we’re here. 48 hours in so far and I haven’t shouted at anyone. (I do have what I fear is a chest infection so limited voice anyway). It’s not too bad. I am looking forward to going home though 😭

Yes, same here. I think it works well and a good balance of time together and apart. I’d love to be more active but sometimes compromise works better.

Hope you're feeling OK today and holiday is going well. I imagine that a lot of your feelings of anxiety etc are tied up in the diabetes diagnosis last time, which must be hard.

We've just been on a delayed-since-2020 Dutch Centerparcs trip. We ended up having quite a different holiday to what we'd originally planned as kids would have been 11 and 13 and are now 13 and 15. We built in visits to several cities around the Centerparcs stay. It worked really well - they loved Amsterdam, Cologne etc and were ready for some downtime once we got to Centerparcs. We still did quite a lot of stuff all together, but early bird DS and I would play tennis in the morning while DDs and DH had a lie in. One DD likes a lot of downtime, so she stayed in the lodge reading sometimes, which worked well for all of us.

My three still very often share a room on holiday (and we're just back from a weekend in a hostel where all five of us shared). They don't love the sharing, but they do love going on holiday and if we had to pay for more rooms we'd do less stuff, so it's a trade they're happy to make. They all still very much see family holidays as a good thing that they want to be a part of.

We still do country holidays with the teens. One is outdoorsy, the other isn't.
The no tech rule needs to go.
Lazy mornings, pub lunches, afternoon dog walks, TV and games by the fire evenings are great.
Sharing a room isn't ideal, but isn't the end of the world. It's more about each wanting their own private chill out space.