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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Teen disappointed in life!

15 replies

DippyDot73 · 25/07/2022 15:53

We were really looking forwards to the summer holidays as Dd1 has had a tough year at school (socially) but has been really resilient and positive and things have seemed so good recently.
Had a lovely day shopping on Saturday then she spent all day in her room yesterday which isn’t like her. I tried chatting but failed to get her talking.
today she’s really down and saying she hates her life as there’s nothing to do and everything is boring. I’m torn between thinking she’s a spoilt brat who needs to get a grip on reality and thinking she needs to speak to someone urgently.
She has out of school interests/clubs that she goes to 3x a week and she’s due to meet friends tomorrow.
we have a weekend away booked for Fri and a foreign holiday that was booked with her input planned for a few weeks time.
I’ve just said that my expectations for the rest of the summer are that she gets dressed and does ‘something’ every day even if it’s going to see grandparents for a chat, walk dog, go for a jog. She says it’s all lame and I don’t understand.
meanwhile ds is clearing weeds and painting the shed!
Ive asked her what things her friends are doing but again she says I don’t understand. She would love to go to a theatre residential holiday but has only just mentioned it so no time to organise and don’t think her social anxiety would ‘allow’ her to spend time with strangers in that way. I offered to see if there were any day theatre school things like stagecoach but she says there’ll be too many young children there. Just can’t win!
Advice please

OP posts:

Fabswingers · 25/07/2022 16:30

I think cut her some slack, teenage years are hard as you think your grown up and know it all but actually still to young to see the bigger picture.

Id let her sulk now and again, nothing wrong with wallowing in self pity if you think it’s justified, as long as it’s not for long periods of time. She needs to manage her own life and make it interesting but maybe she is not aware of all the options available?

TeenDivided · 25/07/2022 16:37

Stagecoach holiday workshops are good. They split into 3 age ranges so most of the time she'd be with 11 or 12+.
Round me they are this week or next week.

TeenDivided · 25/07/2022 16:44

(My DDs did them for years until DD1 got too old and then the pandemic. They put on a show in a week. Unfortunately DD2 is now a) bit old though they would take her at 17 and b) too anxious mixing with unknown people).

Flossiemoss · 25/07/2022 16:47

Is this the modern version of “I’m bored” ?

Given the long list of activities you already have planned, I would be very inclined to ignore and let her solve her own boredom. It’s very good for kids to be bored at some point. If she persists then point out the jobs you’d like her to do.(which will be much more boring to her than hanging around saying it’s lame or whatever).
Basically - ignore. You have lots planned for her, nothing to feel guilty about.

Staynow · 25/07/2022 16:54

I would just let her wallow a bit in her misery, it sounds fairly normal for a teen, it's such a difficult age to be. Hopefully she'll perk up after meeting up with her friends.

topcat2014 · 25/07/2022 17:00

We're on holiday and DD is annoyed because her overpriced poxy iPhone won't charge.

They can be hard work!

Original poster

DippyDot73 · 25/07/2022 18:35

Thank you everyone… feel better and it’s given me some perspective!
DS is so different to her and I sometimes feel I’m floundering in my parenting of a very bright yet emotional young woman! Suspect she’s very good at knowing my triggers!
i ignored her all afternoon and she’s come down for dinner and been very pleasant and laughing
with her siblings.
honestly!

OP posts:

Original poster

DippyDot73 · 25/07/2022 18:36

🤣

OP posts:

Wallywobbles · 25/07/2022 18:37

Boredom is important. It leaves a space for creativity.

Mally100 · 25/07/2022 18:37

Flossiemoss · 25/07/2022 16:47

Is this the modern version of “I’m bored” ?

Agree. Sounds like she is very privileged and doesn't really grasp or appreciate that. I would just leave her be and not indulge this.

MarshaMelrose · 25/07/2022 18:38

today she’s really down and saying she hates her life as there’s nothing to do and everything is boring.

Is her name Kevin or Perry?
It was ever thus.

Mally100 · 25/07/2022 18:38

Ah well there you go! Seems like she needed less attention to get her to snap out of it.

Hellocatshome · 25/07/2022 18:41

Yo be honest she does sound a little spoilt. She has a lot more nice things going on in the summer holidays than a lot of teens will have. I would tell her life is what you make it and if she doesnt do/organise anything then prepare to be bored.

lailamaria · 25/07/2022 20:59

i don't understand your expectation that she has to get up and do something everyday like surely not, of course she can't just sit in her room for weeks but everyday

waterrat · 31/07/2022 18:19

I don't think she sounds spoilt she sounds normal for a bit of a moody teen !

As a parent of an anxious child myself I think it's great she has asked to do drama. Can't you do a search for something local?

Would she benefit from.meeting new people ? Maybe over ride her moans about younger kids and just ensure she is kept occupied through some sort of club for some of thr holiday.

I think modern parents including myself have become overly anxious about teens moods and kids being bored

It's up to her if she wants to be in a bit if a bored grump and surely won't kill her ?

Flip